


The Experiment

by Curalee



Series: Borrowed Bones [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Body Horror, CAN'T STOP, Cutting, Dehumanization, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Existential Crisis, Exposition dialogue, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I torture them because I love them, King Asgore's a good guy, Medical Torture, Short Chapters, WON'T STOP, and will die down as the fic goes on, angst now fluff latter, maybe long chapters, medium chapters, most of this is in the first few chapters, sort of, that's how it works on the pain train, very different chapter lengths, what is consistency, young Gaster
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-26
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-07-10 06:34:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 39
Words: 94,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6970129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Curalee/pseuds/Curalee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gaster's early days in the lab were not pleasant ones.</p><p>Edit: The lovely HystericalRT made some fanart for Ch. 20 of this fic!<br/>http://curalee.deviantart.com/art/The-Experiment-639454823</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Doctor and the Skeleton

**Author's Note:**

> This story updates on Mondays and can also be found here.  
> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/4841383/Curalee  
> http://thecuralee.tumblr.com/  
> http://curalee.deviantart.com/
> 
>  

His bones ached all over and he just wished the doctor would let him rest, but of course none of this was new.

"Come on you lazy pile of bones, the sooner we get this over with the sooner I can be done dealing with you for the day." Irritation laced their words and he knew by now that he was getting on their last nerve.

As much as he wished to be done with the day's tests himself he rarely passed up the opportunity to push their patience to the edge. Even if sometimes he misjudged how close to the edge he was. He grit his teeth and let out a soft hiss as an electric shock traveled down his spine from the collar around his neck. It was painful enough to send a clear message, but not powerful enough to cause any physical damage. They wouldn't want to damage their property.

He slowly eased himself from the floor where he had been resting, his joints creaking audibly with the effort. He half limped, half shuffled his way back over to the treadmill. After stepping on and stiffly waiting for the doctor to attach all of the sensors he defiantly stood still for several seconds before pushing himself into a hobbled walk. He tried to defy the doctor in any little way that he could, but he had already been shocked once and that meant that their temper was short today.

His breathing soon grew labored as he was barely able to push himself into a slight trot, which was more or less his equivalent of full out running. He felt his soul flutter in his chest and his breaths grew ragged very quickly, this was not a pace he could keep up for long. The doctor just stared at the monitor, ignoring the skeleton's increasingly distressed sounds.

He felt his joints begin to lock up and he stumbled, trying to keep himself upright. "I didn't tell you to stop." He grit his teeth as he tried to force his limbs to keep moving, he knew that if he stopped before he was told to he would have to start over again. His vision blurred as he tried to keep his feet under him, fainting always meant he had to start over and he fainted a lot. "Stop."

He could do nothing as the weight of his own body dragged him down. Dazed he lay in a shivering heap as he slid off the treadmill gasping for breath. The doctor tsked in irritation as they stepped over to him, swiftly removing the sensors from his trembling bones. Before he had the chance to pass out completely they reached down and pushed aside his medical gown so that the side of his rib-cage and his soul were exposed. Ignoring his feeble attempts to move away from them, they pulled a syringe from the pocket of their lab coat and with practiced movement they reached under his ribs bringing the needle directly into his soul.

His breath hitched as the doctor made contact and they quickly removed their arm as his body began to convulse. His soul was on fire as the concentrated magic supplement was injected directly into it. As it slowly dissipated through his body the spasms slowed until his body was left vibrating from the sudden influx of energy. The change from almost falling down to brimming with energy always made him feel sick.

"Get up, we're done for the day." Immediately he got shakily to his feet, the only time he obeyed the doctor quickly was right after his injections. Getting a shock on top of the sickness he felt already was not pleasant, he had found that out the hard way. He followed the doctor out of the physical testing room into the halls that stretched through the massive complex of the lab. Head down he walked with a speed that he normally wasn't capable of. The extra energy wouldn't last long, he could feel it dissipate off his bones like warmth sapped by cool air.

They passed a few other people in the halls, mostly assistants but he didn't try to gain their attention. They worked for the doctor and sometimes they did his tests when the doctor was gone. They were usually nicer to him than the doctor but still most talked slowly to him like he wouldn't understand what they were saying. He couldn't speak himself and they never paid him mind when he tried to communicate with them, so he had stopped trying.

By the time they reached his room he was already starting to limp again and lag behind. The doctor tapped their foot impatiently as the skeleton caught up. He didn't look up as the doctor used the scanner beside the door to open it. They caught his shoulder before he could step inside, he froze at the contact waiting for them to do something. "The king will be visiting tomorrow to see our progress." He tensed even more at the tone in the doctor's voice, "I expect you to do as you're told. Do you understand Gaster?"


	2. A little rest

"Gaster?" The doctor repeated.

Gaster knew that doctor Drake wouldn't let him go without an answer so he nodded stiffly without looking up, the light tremble in his frame growing. After a moment the red-brown lizard monster released him and he hurried into his room. The door closed behind him and he quickly climbed onto his cot, the only object in the small room. He sat with his back pressed against the wall and he buried his face into his knees as he tried to control his rapid breathing and excessive trembling.

He was frighted of the thought of meeting the king, who must be a cruel monster to want the doctor do these tests to him. His breathing soon returned to normal but a slight tremor remained in his frame as he lifted his head. He hated when the doctor talked to him like that. The assistants spoke to him slowly, like they didn't really expect him to understand their words. The doctor though, when they spoke to him, when they looked at him, they were looking at an object. One that was more likely to malfunction than to do what it was made for. He was project Gaster. It wasn't his name it was his label, but it was all he had.

He rested his chin on his now only slightly shaking knees with a sigh and stared at the wall ahead of him. He just wanted to be left alone, why did the doctor do these things to him? He knew that he was different from other monsters but it wasn't because of the way that they treated him, like he was less than them. He was weak and just being awake made him hurt, sometimes even sleep couldn't save him from the ache in his bones. He was always slowly falling down, even now not long after his last injection he could feel the energy leaking from his body. He had never seen another monster use the injections, what was so wrong with him that he was the only one that needed them?

He glanced at the door he as reached behind himself to pull out the scalpel that was wedged between the cot and the wall. He moved himself so that he was sitting cross-legged and pulled his gown back to expose his femur. Trying to still the constant tremor in his bones he brought the scalpel to the outside of his leg and used it to chip a sliver of bone away. With a content sigh he relaxed a bit as he slid the scalpel back into its hiding place.

He closed his eye-sockets and leaned back as he gently ran his thumb across the thin scars that ran down his femur. He had plenty of scars all over from the doctor's tests but these were his. He began to silently count each one, even though he knew exactly how many there were. There was one for each day since the first week the doctor had begun testing on him, today made ninety-seven. Of course the doctor knew about the marks, when he had found out he had yelled at his assistants for being careless with their tests and 'damaging lab property.'

Gaster had been alive and awake for a short time before the doctor began testing on him but his early days were fuzzy, the life that he had lived was only these few months. He had overheard some of the assistants talk about years once, they talked about how long they had worked in the lab with numbers of years that he couldn't believe. He had no idea how any monster could live so long when every moment seemed to drag on painfully for him, it was impossible to fathom that amount of time.

He lifted his other hand up and gripped tightly at the collar around his neck. It was extremely loose around his vertebra, giving him enough room to comfortably slide his fingers between it and his neck as he held onto it. He didn't know what it was made from but the inside of it was flexible while the outside had hard parts to it, including the part that shocked him and another part that beeped loudly if he needed an injection right away.

Gripping it gave him a small measure of comfort but he couldn't do it while the doctor was around, doing so made them angry. He could hear the power winding down as the lights flicked to dim mode, casting the room into deep shadow. Laying down on his side he curled in on himself, his exhausted mind going through the same thoughts that it did every night as he drifted off to sleep.

He went over the layout of the parts of the lab that he knew, how far each important room was from the others and which halls led to places he had never been. Which halls and rooms tended to have other monsters in them and which were usually empty. Where the few syringes were that he had managed to slip away from inattentive assistants. There were two underneath a shelf in the physical testing room. Three behind a squat chest in the magic testing range. Two behind a desk in the monitoring room and one in the far-back corner inside a cupboard in the doctor's office.

Even if he found a way out of the lab he needed the injections to live. He had only eight in total, it would take years to get enough. He had to escape this place, to make it outside. It didn't matter what was out there, it had to be better than here. Anything was better than here.

As the darkness took him a fervent thought slipped through his mind. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if he just didn't wake up in the morning. For a moment he couldn't help but savor the bitter sweetness of the thought as a tear slipped from his eye-socket. He wished so desperately to be free of this place. His grip on his collar tightened as he hardened his resolve, he could endure anything that the doctor did to him. He could endure it for as long as it would take, he was nothing if not patient.


	3. Meeting the King

The morning came anyway.

The lights shifted to bright mode and the power hummed up. Gaster let out a deep exhausted sigh as he clung to the edges of sleep, the constant soft trembling of his bones increasing slightly as he began to wake. The doctor would be coming to get him shortly. He wanted desperately to just lay there and rest his aching bones but he knew that if he wasn't awake by the time the doctor got there he would be woken by his morning injection.

He shifted onto his back waiting for the doctor to come, he didn't have to wait long. The door slid open and the doctor stepped into the room, immediately pulling a syringe from his right pocket. Gaster tensed as the doctor neared, balling his hands into shaking fists to keep himself from grabbing at his collar. The doctor lifted up the side of Gaster's gown and brought the syringe up to his soul. His body spasmed as energy coursed through it, the fire slowly leaving his soul as the energy spread through his body.

Gaster was left panting on the cot as the doctor turned toward the door. "Come." He quickly stood from the cot on shaking legs, forcing himself to walk after the doctor. He followed the doctor through the halls to the monitoring room. They always started the day here, the doctor doing various scans and monitoring Gaster's baseline information. He had even had a few lucky days where they spent the whole day in this room and he hadn't had to do any tests at all. But he knew today wouldn't be like that, with the king coming he was sure there would be tests today.

The doctor was muttering under his breath and was more forceful with his measurement tools than usual so Gaster reluctantly didn't dawdle to try to extend the stay in the room as much as he usually did. He didn't want to get shocked this early in the day. The last scan had many sensors attached to nearly all of his bones and several on his soul. The pressure of their touch made him feel ill, but at least they weren't stuck into his soul. As the scan finished a large screen displayed many colorful grafts and charts that he didn't understand. There was one that displayed an image shaped like him that was filled with color that ranged from green to yellow to red.

The doctor gave the screen a sour look as most of it was deep red. It usually was mostly red but today it was a deeper red than usual and there was hardly any green. The doctor turned his frustrated gaze to Gaster as if accusing him of changing the colors on purpose. Gaster held the doctor's eyes for a moment before he averted his gaze, meeting the doctor's eyes for too long was a good way to get a quick shock.

After removing the monitors the doctor had him sit on the exam table, he was confused and wary but he slowly did as he was told. Usually they went straight to testing when the readings were done. "You will stay put, keep your eyes down and do as I tell you while the king is here," the doctor snaked his hand into his left pocket, "do you understand?" Gaster watched the doctor's hand and stiffened as it reached into the pocket. When the shock didn't come Gaster nodded quickly without looking up at the doctor's face. "Good." The doctor turned away and checked his watch, he started to tap his foot impatiently while he stared at the door. Eventually there came a soft knock at the door. "Come in," the doctor called curtly.

Gaster didn't know what he had expected the king to be like, but the massive monster who entered through the door took him completely off-guard. When Gaster was standing the top his head was level with the doctor's shoulders but he would barely be as tall as the king's waist. Besides being tall the king was also far wider than either Gaster or the doctor, both of them being relatively skinny monsters. As the large furred monster stepped into the room Gaster noticed several other monsters stood in hall beyond, all wearing metal suits. The king closed the door behind himself, turning to the doctor with a warm smile on his face. "Howdy Drake."

"It's doctor Drake," the doctor narrowed his eyes slightly as he gave a small, stiff bow, "king Asgore, you needn't have come all the way down here, you could simply have sent for a report."

The king didn't seem to notice the doctor's irritation, "it's good to see you too Drake." The king gave the doctor a nod of his head as he glanced at the skeleton, "but I wished to see how things were progressing with my own eyes, your recent reports have been somewhat lacking in certain areas."

"I assure you sir that I have included all relevant data."

"You haven't been including how the . . . subject has been progressing physically."

"That isn't relevant given the goal of the project. The soul is our focus, as long as the body is stable enough to support a soul the details are unimportant."

"I would like to hear about them nonetheless."

"Sir, it is a waste of time to worry over the insignificant aspects of the project."

"Humor me doctor, tell me about his physical condition."

"It, your majesty," the doctor was barely able to keep the obvious frustration out of his voice, "but very well." He impatiently directed the king over to the skeleton.

As the large monster and the doctor approached Gaster he hunched his shivering shoulders defensively. He carefully watched them out of the corner of his eye-socket, not making direct eye contact with either. When the king turned his gaze on the skeleton he kept a friendly smile on his face, though his eyes turned slightly sorrowful. The king spoke in a gentle voice, "there's no need to be afraid, I will do you no harm."

Gaster was so surprised at being addressed that he looked up into the king's eyes before he could stop himself. The doctor's low displeased growl snapped him out of his shock, after a quick glance at the doctor he lowered his gaze. "There is no need to talk to it your majesty, it is not sentient." The doctor spoke in the voice he used with his assistants, giving his words as facts that were not to be disputed. "It has been trained to understand basic commands, nothing more." The king glanced at the doctor, flicking his ear and only giving a noncommittal hum in response.

"As you can see sir, due to the extended period of time the skeleton was left in the magic infusion tank it has matured somewhat in size prior to its removal." Gaster kept his head tilted down but he listened carefully to the doctor's words. "The frame is still mostly physical matter. However due to the excessive amount of magic absorbed during its early incubation parts of the body which once consisted of a large number of smaller bones have since fused together to form more stable and somewhat flexible pieces." The doctor moved closer to Gaster, gesturing as he spoke. "These parts include the majority of the hand, wrist, foot and ankle bones excluding the phalanges on both the hands and feet. Also parts of the skull and ribs have fused together as well as the entirety of the spine."

"Are the bones able to heal injuries?" The king asked tentatively, keeping his eyes on the skeleton as he spoke.

"For the most part they can, these injuries however," the doctor pointed out several fractures in Gaster's right radius and ulna as well as a pair of fractures on his skull. One leading from his left eye-socket down to his mouth, the other winding up from his right eye-socket ending halfway along the top of his head. "They have not healed at all. This is likely due to the fact that these injuries were received and remained unhealed prior to placement in the infusion tank."

The doctor stepped back, gesturing to Gaster as a whole. "The subject's body shakes because the connection between the body and soul is unstable, their different magical frequencies are unsynchronized and the energy transfer between to two is inefficient. The soul's connection to the body is weak by both nature and by design, as was expected when we grew a monster soul in a body that was not made of magic. Given that we only have one skeleton to work with we designed it as such so that we would be able to later extract the soul with as little effort as possible and then repeat the process using the same remains."

Gaster stiffened as he grasped what the doctor was saying.

"The soul fragment that we used grew to form a whole that was greatly stronger than that of the average monster, as was anticipated. We did not expect the subject to gain mobility however this has allowed us to chart the soul's growth more accurately. The rate of growth has been steadily decreasing and it appears that soon it will reach it's maximum potential. Unfortunately despite the strength of the subject's soul it is still an insignificant addition compared to what will be needed to break the barrier. I would recommend a few more days of testing followed by extraction of the soul so that we may try again."

Gaster's mind raced and he tried to keep himself from panicking as the words sunk in. That's what all the testing and pain was for? That's what he had been made for? They had created him just so they could take him apart. He gripped his collar tightly without even noticing.

The king eyed the doctor while speaking carefully, "how long could the soul be supported by the body for further growth?"

The doctor seemed oblivious to the skeleton's distress, "The soul's growth has already neared stagnation, no more time will be necessary."

Gaster's bones rattled more audibly as his trembling increased and he barely heard what the other monsters were saying anymore. He turned his gaze to the floor, the lights in his eye-sockets going out. In a few days they were going to take his soul, there was no way he could escape before then.

"In theory though doctor, what would his expected lifespan be?"

The doctor turned to the king, with a frown he answered hesitantly, "the body cannot support the soul for long without magical supplements, a day at most. It holds magical energy poorly despite its extended time in the infusion tank and looses magic at an alarming rate. With careful monitoring and the supplements, it could be expected to hold connection for years. However this would be counterproductive to the project's goal of gathering a large number of strong souls as quickly as possible. As we only have the one human body to work with we must remove the first soul in order to attempt the growth of another hopefully stronger soul."

Gaster gripped his femur hard with his free hand and tried to keep his breathing under control as he felt tears prick in his eye-sockets. He didn't want to die. He felt the sting of the chips in his bone through the fabric of his gown as his violently trembling grip held it. He didn't deserve this, it wasn't fair. He just wanted to live.


	4. Fighting for Mercy

Gaster wouldn't let them take his soul from him, not without a fight.

Cyan magic lit up his eye-sockets as he looked back up at the doctor and the king. Yellow flickered about in the light blue as Gaster let suppressed rage at the injustice of everything he had endured boil up from deep inside. Before the other two monsters had a chance to react Gaster leapt from the table, summoning a bone spear with a razor edge he launched it with precision. It sheared the doctor's entire left pocket cleanly from his lab coat, the doctor jumped back as Gaster dived for it quicker than he had ever moved before. Snatching the bundle of fabric from the floor he bolted toward the door.

Gaster was through it just as they started after him. He immediately summoned bones from the floor around himself to push back the guards that stood outside the door. Once past them he ran with a speed he'd never thought was possible. His soul hammered against his ribs as it poured it's energy into his body, he was quickly panting from the rush of it. He didn't have a plan, he just knew that he had to move. He sped down the halls, putting everything he had into pushing himself beyond his limits. His soul heaved with effort and elation as he realized that he was outpacing them.

He ran and ran, rounding corners and changing direction until he lost everyone who was chasing him. A few turns later he chose a random door and ducked quickly inside of it. Closing the door he checked his surroundings, it was a small dark room with some cabinets, counters and an exam table. He ducked behind the table, leaning against the storage doors underneath it. He tried to slow his gasping breaths as he wrapped his arms around his heavily shaking knees, he rest his head against them and his eye-lights dimmed to their normal white dots as he let the magic go.

He tried to be as quiet as he could while straining to listen for monsters passing in the hall. In moments he heard the muffled pounding of his pursuers nearing the hall with his door. His still fitfully pounding soul refused to calm and he grew ridged as their thundering feet approached the room he was in.

The many pursuers quickly passed by, racing down the hall in a sporadic group and not slowing as they kept moving. Gaster tried again to relax, letting his body slowly go slack as relief ran through him. He felt the expense of so much energy so quickly catching up with him now that he had stopped. He had never before used that much energy at once, it had made him feel so alive. Was that what it felt like to be free?

His joints started to stiffen and lock up, and he started to feel lightheaded. He still clutched the bundle of fabric tightly in one trembling hand as he smiled faintly to himself. He was still trying to get his breath back as he wheezed with soft puffs of air that would pass for laughter. The look on the doctor's face when Gaster had thrown the bone at them, at that moment they had seen Gaster as more than just a subject. They had seen that he was a real monster.

Gaster heard the first warning beep of his collar as he fought to stay conscious, the sound sent a jolt of panic through his slipping mind. He shouldn't need another injection so soon after the last, but he had used up far too much energy pushing himself to escape. He usually only had two for a whole day, three rarely for a bad day. He didn't have long to get another injection before it would be too late.

Stupid, he'd been so stupid. He should have made a plan, he should have paid more attention to where he was going. He should have taken the doctor's right pocket instead of their left. He tried to think of where he was, going over the halls and turns he had traveled in his mind. His thoughts were getting hazy and it was hard for him to track where he'd run to, he'd never moved so quickly before. He had traveled in the direction of the magic testing range, it couldn't be that far from where he was now. He just had to get his bearings and make it down a few halls.

Gaster tried to push himself to stand but his stiff joints resisted and wouldn't unbend to support his weight. He tried to crawl around the table toward the door but he was barely able to move his shaking frame. He tried to call on his magic but his soul shuddered in his chest, having nothing left to give him. He collapsed halfway to the door, the edges of his vision were getting dark.

This wasn't supposed to happen. He tried to fight down the despair and fear that welled up in his chest as tears brimmed in his eye-sockets. For just a little while he had been free, he wished with all his soul to just live. He tried uselessly to make his limbs move but they responded less and less. The world was fading so fast.

He was so tired and it was getting hard to think, he would just rest for a while. He pushed aside the small part of his mind that still panicked at that thought. Buried away the last of his reason that knew what would happen if he stopped now. He curled tightly in on himself as he felt the tears roll down his face. It wouldn't be so bad, he would just rest a little and then everything would be fine.

A shred of him still felt the lie. His shallow breaths were slowing and he felt his soul flutter weakly in his chest, struggling to hold on. He felt his wish for freedom slip into his mind and he feebly grasped for it. He held onto it mournfully for one last time before he discarded it, he didn't need it anymore. The darkness quickly took his tired mind as he let go.


	5. To Live or to be Free

He woke to pain tearing through his soul.

Gaster's eye-sockets shot open and his body arched as his bones burned with so much energy forced into them, his jaws stretched open in a silent scream. As his mind cleared enough for him to see he dropped back to the floor panting and trembling violently, tears streaming down his face. The rapid beeping of his collar was ringing in his skull, the sound starting to slow as magic seeped into his body. With great effort he turned his head to the side, his hazy vision focusing on the very displeased face of the doctor. He saw the king looming beyond them, too far for his blurry vision to see clearly and as he let his face sink to the floor he saw a pile of used syringes laying next to the doctor.

The doctor reached down to the fabric bundle in Gaster's hand, prying it from the skeleton's weakly clenched grip. From the fabric the doctor pulled out a small flat device and then discarded the rest. Gaining some strength now that the magic was spreading through him Gaster forced his ridged and creaking joints to move. Shifting his stiff body he pushed himself shakily up against the cabinets behind him, as far from the doctor as he could get. He glared at the doctor as they reached for him, pulling on his magic he summoned a wall of blue bones around himself to keep the doctor at bay.

"You will disperse your attack immediately and you will be escorted back to your quarters." The doctor spoke calmly as he lifted the small device and held it in front of himself, thumb hovering over a large and obvious button. Gaster stared him in the eye and braced himself as he shook his head. The doctor didn't hesitate to press the button.

Electricity coursed through Gaster's body and he convulsed as he tried to concentrate to keep the bone wall up between them. The doctor kept the button pressed. Gaster felt his soul heave as the electricity arced through it while it still held concentrated magic. He gasped and clutched at his chest as he felt his soul violently expelling the excess magic energy. He doubled over, retching as liquid magic was forced from his mouth. He slipped to the ground, forcing himself to keep the wall between them as he heaved again. The doctor still pushed the button. The pain was magnified by his exhaustion, Gaster felt his grip on his magic slip as he gasped for breath between dry-heaving.

Losing thought of anything else the pain took over his mind as he spasmed on the floor. "Drake that's enough." Someone was talking but he couldn't hear them over the fire that consumed his bones. "Drake!" Gaster gulped for air as the pain stopped, haltingly he lifted his gaze to the doctor. The king stood towering over them, pieces of plastic fell from the crushed device in his hand. "I said that's enough." The doctor stared at the king's dark expression in shock. "You will wait outside Drake."

Alarm covered the doctor's face, "but, but sir it was necessary to- "

The king spoke with clear emphasis, "unless there is an immediate medical reason for you to remain in the room you will wait outside Drake."

"But sir," the doctor stammered quickly, "I apologize for my gross overuse of force. If you'll just allow me, I'll show you the soul is not damaged. When we remove it from the body- "

"This project is on hold, effective immediately. Removing his soul is no longer option." Gaster felt his slowly recovering soul skip a beat, desperately he hoped he hadn't misheard the king.

"But your majesty," the doctor was near panic now, "If we do not extract the current soul then we will not be able to grow more souls in order to break the barrier sooner."

The king's gaze softened as his eyes grew sorrowful. "I am aware of that."

"But- but sir you can't be serious. Think of the opportunity you're wasting, you can't- "

The king flicked his ear, the dark expression returning to his face. "Drake, as I am sure you are well aware I agreed to this project under specific conditions. I was assured that the subject would not be capable of consciousness or be self-aware, which he is clearly both."

"But sir, it isn't . . . this is our freedom your talking about. You can't weigh one incomplete life against all monster's hopes and dreams."

The king flicked his ear again, his gaze growing even harder. "That is not a direction you want this conversation to go in Drake."

"But sir . . . " the doctor tried weakly.

"My decision is final Drake." The king stared the doctor down, giving him no room for argument. "Now you will go outside and wait in the hall with my guard." The king unclenched his large fist and shards of plastic and circuitry rained from his open palm.

"But- I . . . but . . ." the doctor stiffened as the king's eyes bore down on him. "Yes, your majesty," the doctor's face grew impassive and he gave a short halting bow, he pointedly did not look at Gaster as he left.

The king turned slowly toward Gaster before approaching, his features softening as the skeleton's eye-lights followed his movements warily. Gaster pushed himself up with some effort and scooted to back away from the king, wedging into the corner between the cabinets and the wall with his arms wrapped around his knees. The king skirted around the puddle of sick on the floor and lowered himself to reduce his towering height. Gaster flashed magic in his eye-sockets in warning as the king knelt down near him but didn't summon an attack.

The king looked straight into Gaster's eye-sockets as he spoke, "I am so sorry for what the doctor has done to you child." His eyes were regretful and he spoke gently, "and I am sorry that we said such terrible things in front of you. I don't know how much you understood of what was said but I can guarantee you one thing." The king held Gaster's gaze as he spoke each word clearly, "nothing bad is going to happen to you. I am going to make it clear to the doctor that he is to take good care of you from now on, and that he will do his best to make you as healthy as possible. No one is going to take your soul from you, I promise."

Gaster narrowed his eye-sockets at the king, trying to search for a catch in the words or see a betraying movement. The king tilted his head slightly, "do you know what a promise is?" After a moment of hesitation Gaster shook his head. The king smiled warmly at him, "it means that I have to do what I said, no matter what."

Gaster stared in disbelief, unable to understand why the king would do these things. When the king spoke he seemed so sincere, something that Gaster had no experience of dealing with. He didn't know what the king wanted in return, if they didn't want to take his soul then what would they do with him?

Gaster glanced at the pile of used syringes on the floor, the price for freedom had almost been too high. He would have to risk playing along for now with what the king told him, hoping that he could at least trust that he had more time to work with. What other choice did he have? He relaxed his shaking hold on his knees a little, letting his feet slide slightly into the space between them. The tension in his frame was starting to make him feel lightheaded again.

The king smiled more as the skeleton relaxed slightly, "my name is Asgore. I can't be around all of the time but I'll be checking in on you as often as I can to make sure you are being taken care of." With slow movements the king brought one large hand up and held it out to Gaster. "You've had a hard day, for now I think it would be best if you got some rest. I'll take you back to your room and then I'll be having a long talk with the doctor about these changes."

Gaster stared at the king's hand, unsure of what the offered gesture meant. The king's smile tugged downward slightly at the skeleton's obvious confusion towards the considerate gesture. "I'd like to help you stand, if you'll let me." Gaster pulled back a little but hesitantly lifted one of his trembling hands from his knees anyway. He would have refused if he thought he could stand on his own but he still felt weak and his body still wasn't cooperating with him properly. His sight was getting harder to focus and he didn't want to pass out while the possibility that they may try to take his soul still loomed.

Watching the king's face carefully he slowly brought one hand up near the king's, inching it closer as he got nearer. Once his fingers brushed against the other's hand he cautiously gripped it, afraid that the king might become angry at him for doing so despite the offer. Gaster tensed as he waited for a reprimand, but the king's eyes only seemed to sadden at his tentative actions.

"It's alright young one," the king spoke softly, "you've done nothing wrong." The king gave the gentlest of tugs to Gaster's arm, prompting him to try to stand. Gaster slowly unwound from his position in the corner. His joints creaked slightly with the movement after having a small time to rest from his growing fatigue. As he rightend the haze that had been settling on his mind thickened and he tried desperately to focus as his unsteady feet slipped from under him. He barely saw the kings hands reach for him as he lost consciousness.


	6. A Connection

He was moving but he was lying still.

Gaster found himself waking slowly to the feeling of gently rocking movement. As his vision focused he saw that his face was pressed up against purple fabric and out of the corner of his eye-socket he could barely make out the king's face above him. With a start he realized that he was being carried. Whenever he fainted while with the doctor he would usually wake to find the doctor standing over him, tapping his foot impatiently. That was, unless he had already pushed the doctor's temper enough to find himself revived with an injection. As Gaster shifted slightly he could feel that the king had him pressed gently against his wide chest, supported by massive but gentle arms. Gaster's legs were hooked over one of the king's elbows and his skull was cradled in the other, his arms tucked in under his chin.

The king didn't seem to notice Gaster's small movement from the continuous soft trembling of his bones. Gaster felt so vulnerable being confined in the giant monster's hold. The situation would have had him ridged, if he had had any energy left and his body hadn't been through so much in such a short span of time. He tried to remain still so as not to draw attention to himself, he could hear the soft clanking of the king's guard traveling around them. As they moved on though, Gaster found himself relaxing without meaning to and he began to slowly slide towards sleep. He was beyond exhausted and he found the movement of the king's steps strangely comforting. Somehow, without really understanding why, he began to feel like he wasn't in danger.

Gaster saw the king turn his head slightly to the side. "Drake, you have been quiet for a while. What do you think?"

"Am I to assume that my consideration for the vacant seat of Royal Scientist has been revoked?" Gaster forced himself to stay awake as he heard the doctor's frustrated voice come from beyond his vision.

"My leniency is worn thin at the moment Drake, I would ask for no more favors." The king spoke with equal irritation, "will you agree to my proposal?"

"I will look after the medical details as you asked but I will not become the minder of a flawed product."

"You will do what I require of you," the king's voice rumbled sternly from within his chest as he flicked his ear, "but I will not be asking you to do much beyond taking care of his health." The king's voice softened somewhat, "if his health improves enough he has the potential to become far stronger than any monster ever has before."

"Your current proposition is terribly inefficient, no matter how strong it gets it will never be enough to break the barrier. It could never match the strength of the six more human souls that we need."

Gaster listened to the two monsters talk. Of course they still wanted to use him, he had expected it. This was good news, it meant that they wanted to keep him alive. But he still felt something in his chest sink a little at hearing the words.

The king sighed, "I know, but it is my hope that he could still be a notable addition, if that is what it will take to convince you to help him. One way or another though will I expect you to focus on his health above all else."

The doctor gave a sour grunt in response.

"Still, that is also why I will give you permission to reinstate this project once another human falls. That is," the king's voice grew stern again, "on the condition that his health improves markedly."

"Sir you can't do that," the doctor's voice grew more agitated, "you can't hinge the future of the program on the outcome of this subject's frail health."

"You are a very talented scientist Drake, I have complete faith in your abilities. Besides, this should ensure that no accidents will happen to this child while you are patiently waiting for another human."

"How could you even suggest . . . " Gaster could hear the indignation in the doctor's voice, "I would never- "

"Never what Drake?" The king cut him off, voice darkening with every word, "You would never intentionally keep from your reports the fact that this child had woken up? That he was conscious and alive? Never purposefully try to mislead me into believing that he did not have a will of his own? That he was not obviously self-aware?"

"Those details are . . . debatable." The doctor hedged, "but if you truly must insist that this condition be definite, then it will be met."

"That is good to hear Drake," the king flicked his ear as his voice cooled, "and of course you may only move forward with the project if you believe that next time you could actually grow souls that are not animate."

"I most certainly can." The doctor grumbled, "I don't know how it went wrong this time. I will have to go back through all of our logs to see where the problem occurred. But what I do know for a fact is that the error did not come from any of my calculations. It must have come from . . . his."

The king eyed the doctor doubtfully, "do you really think he could have made a mistake?"

"No," the doctor spoke as if realizing something, "no I don't."

When the doctor didn't continue the king hummed tiredly and peered down at the skeleton in his arms. Gaster quickly dispersed the eye-lights from his barely open eye-sockets when he saw that the king was looking down at him, hoping that he would still look like he was unconscious. They must have already been dim from his exhaustion because the king didn't react to their disappearance.

"Will he be needing another supplement after . . . what happened earlier?" The king's voice was not accusatory but there was a weight to it.

The doctor sighed in resignation. "I need to see it's monitor." Gaster felt the king shift him, "yes the collar, turn it towards me." The king stopped and turned to the side, Gaster felt the doctor's scaled hand shift his collar for a better look. If it wasn't for the fact that he could barely move Gaster would have flinched at the the contact. "It will be fine for a few more hours." They resumed moving down the hall, the king shifted Gaster back closer to his chest.

"I will also be expecting you to find a less painful and if possible less invasive way to administer the supplements Drake."

The doctor sighed again, "must you make everything difficult?"

"For this child's sake, yes," the king's voice gained an edge to it. "He would not speak to me Drake, why is that?"

"It is incapable of vocalizing, did you not notice that it made no sound while in pain?" The doctor noticed the king's darkening expression and too late realized that he had casually spoken with clinical apathy.

The king flicked his ear, his voice still hard, "I did." The king stopped and turned to the doctor, his eyes growing fierce. "We must come to an understanding Drake. After we return this child to his room I will be calling a meeting for all of the doctors and assistants who have and will work with him. From now on every one of them will be treating him with the gentleness and kindness that a child deserves. I leave him in your charge after what I have seen only because you are the only one qualified to care for him."

The king's gaze seemed to become even more intense as he continued. "In return for your cooperation I will consider giving you lenience in future punishments pending the inquiry into your work on this project. It is only for the good of all monsters that I may allow you to continue to pursue this project in the future. Believe me when I tell you I want what is left of monsterkind to be free of this mountain as much as you do or else I never would have allowed you to toe that line so closely to begin with. But let me make one thing perfectly clear to you, there is nothing that I value more than the lives of children."

The doctor spoke very carefully, "I believe you have made yourself abundantly clear your majesty."

They walked on in a thick silence that was disturbed only by their footsteps, it didn't take them much longer to reach Gaster's room. The doctor opened the door using the scanner and the king frowned when he looked into the tiny room which contained only a cot. "You will be giving him a proper room as well Drake."

"Yes, your majesty." The doctor's tired and compliant response showed how little he cared to do anything beyond avoid further arguments with the king.

The king grunted in reply as he ducked slightly to enter the doorway, his massive bulk barely fitting into the room. He shifted the skeleton in his arms and he knelt to gently lay him down on the cot. "Shut the door and wait for me Drake." The king didn't turn to the other as he spoke, he kept his eyes on Gaster and he waited until he heard the door close before gently speaking again, "I know you are awake young one."

After a moment Gaster let his eye-lights flicker on, they were dim from his fatigue and took a moment to focus properly. When the king said nothing else to him he slowly pushed himself up to sit on the cot, positioned with his legs slid before him and his back supported by the wall behind him. He was only shaking slightly, both from being low on energy and being too mentally strained to be properly alert or wary at the moment.

With slow movements the king brought one large hand up and gently placed it on Gaster's trembling shoulder. Gaster tensed at the contact, anxiety making him freeze up at the touch. "Gaster . . . " the king hesitated in using the word but continued when it drew the skeleton's attention. "I'm going to leave some of my guard here to watch over you while I'm gone. If the doctor or the assistants do anything to you like that shock, or if they hurt you in any way while I'm not here. I want you to let my guards and myself know. Alright?"

The king paused, his serious eyes locked onto Gaster and he waited for a hesitant nod before going on. "The doctor told me that you can't speak, is this true?" Gaster gave another small nod. "Then next time I come back I'll start teaching you how to sign." The king lifted his free hand and made a few gestures in the air as an example and gave a reassuring smile. "That way you can speak without a voice. Would you like that?"

Gaster frowned down at his lap, why was the king being so nice to him? He was so exhausted that he could barely think straight let alone try to reason out the king's actions. He just couldn't understand why the king would be doing this. He reached up to grip his collar with a trembling hand. He breathed in sharply as he realized what he had done and his head shot back up to look at the king. A tremor ran through him as he waited for the king to anger at his action, but the king only seemed to grow sad at his fear.

Gaster broke eye contact and looked back down at his lap again. He didn't know how to react to this. He had never been addressed as a person before, he had never been expected to express his own thoughts before. While one hand still gripped his collar he absentmindedly pushed aside his gown so that he could rub at his exposed femur. He didn't notice that the king was watching him until he saw tears land on the cot next to him. He froze, his head tilting back up to see the king crying as he looked down at the scars on the skeleton's leg.

"Forgive me," the king brought his free hand up to wipe his eyes while the other gently squeezed Gaster's shoulder. Gaster stiffened at the motion but soon relaxed as he realized it wasn't meant to harm. "I had a child once, well two actually." The king's smile was sorrowful as he looked back at the skeleton. "But one of them I took in after they had come from a place where they were not treated well." His eyes turned down in memory, "they also had a habit of . . . seeking comfort in this manner. It hurt us terribly to think that they had been in so much pain that they needed this to make the hurt lessen. It took a very long time for them to accept that they no longer needed it."

The king seemed to lose himself in the memory, his eyes growing forlorn as he saw something that wasn't there. Gaster felt a strange twinge in his chest as he watched the king appear to sink into himself. Gaster didn't know this kind of pain, but he could see the pain in the king's eyes nonetheless.

Slowly Gaster leaned forward and lifted his hand from his collar to reach up and place it hesitantly on the king's shoulder, squeezing it gently as the king had done for him. The king looked back up, his eyes clearing with surprise at the returned gesture. "Look at me," he gave a weak chuckle, "I'm supposed to be the one comforting you, not the other way around." The skeleton gave the king a small smile for the first time.

Gaster would keep sneaking syringes away and hiding them when he could, but something in him wanted to truly believe in the promise the king had given him. Maybe, just maybe, he could trust this monster whose eyes didn't look through him. But if it turned out that he couldn't trust the king, if it came down to that, well then that too he could endure.


	7. Thoughts and Reasons

He had no idea what was going to happen now.

It was about this time yesterday that Gaster's entire world had been thrown into chaos. He had slept solidly for most of the time since returning to his room and was grateful for the good rest after everything that had happened. He had been woken several times through the remainder of yesterday and once again in the morning by one of the king's guard so that an assistant could give him his injections when he needed them. He now sat on his cot idly fiddling with the scalpel in his hands, trying to ignore the deep ache in his shivering bones which seemed to be worse now after he woke than before he had rested. He could almost ignore it if he tried to doze off and didn't think too much, the problem was that there was a lot to think about.

He was used to catching bits and pieces of information from passing conversations to store away until it could later be added to and made sense of. Much of what the doctor and the king had said would be filed away like this until he could get more context to figure it out, there was no point in trying to solve a puzzle if he only had half of the pieces. But this still left him with some troubling thoughts and emotions to sort through.

Gaster didn't know what to think about the king. The king had spoken right to him, as a person. The king had just seemed so bafflingly open and honest, he was unlike any monster Gaster had ever met before. It wasn't that the doctor or the assistants were necessarily untruthful with him, they just never really spoke to him beyond orders and they never bothered to explain anything to him. It had just never occurred to them to treat him like a person, you couldn't lie to an object.

But that didn't change what had already happened. They had made him this way on purpose. The king may not have known Gaster would be alive but that didn't change what was done. He was designed to fall apart. Gaster's grip on the scalpel tightened. He had been created intentionally broken, that much he understood.

So why had the king acted like he had, like he actually cared? The king had wanted a tool, shouldn't he be angry like the doctor was? Now that the king had seen that Gaster was alive, what was he to the king? The king had seemed like he truly wanted to help Gaster, like he genuinely cared about the skeleton and not just as a broken tool that needed to be repaired. Gaster couldn't even begin to understand the king's motives, he only knew of what he had seen. He had never seen kindness like this before.

Gaster slowly rotated the scalpel in his hands, watching the light reflect off of it at different angles. What was the king to him? That question might be even more complicated. He had never really felt anything besides anger or fear or indifference towards others, how could he when they just looked right through him? He felt the twinge in his chest again, the same one he had felt when he had watched the king crying. He knew he should be wary but . . . what if the king really did keep his promise? Gaster couldn't stop the flicker of hope that crept into his soul.

Gaster stopped twirling the scalpel in his hands. When he had seen the king in pain he had reached out to them. Why did he do that? It had just felt . . . right. Try as he might to put it out the small flame of hope refused to be extinguished. As dangerous as he knew it was to hold onto that fire, he couldn't stop himself from clinging to it. The king had become far more important to him than he had thought.

He closed his eye-sockets and scrunched up the ridge of his brow as he leaned back against the wall behind him, he softly bounced his head against the wall as he scolded himself. What was he doing? He shouldn't have let himself get attached so quickly, not when he knew how easily that could get him burned. He still remembered very clearly the bitter sting he had felt when he had last left himself open like that. It had been when he hadn't known any better, when he had still been new. When he might have thought of the doctor as his guardian.

Gaster felt his chest tighten at the memory. He had learned very quickly what the doctor had thought of him, he was property and was to act as such. That had been a very painful, if short lesson. There was no physical scar, but he felt the mark of it in his soul just the same. Despite his desire to protect himself from feeling that pain again he couldn't make himself let the hope go.

His thoughts ran themselves in complicated circles again and again as he tried to understand emotions that he had little or no experience with. He still wasn't able to find any answers, if anything he had even more questions. He sighed softly, his breath wheezing slightly as it passed through his chest cavity. Things had gotten very complicated.

He couldn't keep working himself up like this, it was staring to make him feel sick. He needed to calm down, if he let himself stress over all of the things that he couldn't control it would kill him. He glanced back down at the scalpel that now sat still in his hands but for his continuous shaking. He tried to put thoughts of the king out of his mind, at least this was something simple, something he knew he could count on.

Gaster shifted the scalpel into one hand but he hesitated, remembering the look in the king's eyes even as he tried to clear his thoughts. Was it the scars that caused the king pain, or the memories that they brought to mind? He was surprised to find that he didn't want to do something that would hurt the king. He didn't directly intend to hurt the king, but he also found that he didn't want to do so indirectly either. He struggled with himself for a moment, he still needed this.

Gaster pushed aside his gown, despite his constant tremble he smoothly brought the scalpel down to his femur. He felt relief as soon as he chipped away the small sliver of bone, though it was less soothing than usual. He relaxed a little as he carefully placed the scalpel down next to him and brought his hand back up to his femur. He tilted his head back and leaned against the wall behind himself as he closed his eye-sockets. He slowly slid his hand down the bone, his thumb lazily tracing along the light scars as it went.

He let himself fall into a partial doze for a while as he unwound, letting the ache of his bones slide partially away from his awareness as he enjoyed just having time in which he wasn't being tested on. He had never been allowed to just rest before, it was nice. After some time though thought crept back into his mind. He should put the scalpel away before someone came.

Gaster reached down to delicately pick it up, he moved to slide it back into it's hiding place but stopped himself. The king had said Gaster would get a new room. That meant that the next time he left this room he might not come back, he glanced down at the scalpel in his hand. It was his only possession but he knew that neither the doctor nor the king would let him keep it if they saw it.

He would have to bring it with him when he next left the room. He would be risking having it found and taken from him but it was either that or leave it behind and risk never being able to come back for it. It had been very difficult to get his hands on it in the first place without the doctor noticing and he would rather not have to try to get a new one.

Gaster rolled the scalpel between his fingers, it seemed as if every decision he made was choosing between one risk or another. Should he push the doctor's temper one more time? If he pushed too far he would get a shock, if he didn't push far enough the doctor would have the patience to do more tests. Should he grab that syringe while the assistant was turned away? If he didn't that was one less for his stockpile, if he did and was spotted he could loose them all. Should he trust the king? He didn't even know where to start with that one.

At least this decision wasn't one that his life depended on. He took a small length of fabric that he had cut from one of the ties on the back of his gown and used it to tie the scalpel securely to his rib with a slipknot. He tied it to the bottom side of the third rib down from his clavicle on his left side, wedged closely to his sternum. The doctor usually gave him his injections from the right side and it was down low enough that his gown hid it from the doctor's view while he stood despite their taller stature. He would be able to just give the the knot a tug to undo it quickly when he needed to remove the scalpel. He would have to hide it in one of the testing rooms for now and retrieve it later once he was in the new room.

There wasn't much else for him to do other than to think, rest and wait. But if there was one thing he was good at, it was waiting.


	8. Hands and Words

It was later that day when the king returned.

When the king ducked into the room Gaster felt an odd combination of relief and wariness wash over him. The large furred monster smiled reassuringly as he lowered himself next to the cot. Gaster brought his knees up to his chest as the other got close, he wrapped his arms loosely around them but didn't tense up as much as he usually would have. "Hello young one, I hope you are feeling better today."

Gaster stared at the king for a moment before he realized that they were waiting for a response. He gave a stiff nod which seemed to make the king smile a little more. "I'm glad to hear that." The king brought one hand forward slowly, "if it is alright with you, the doctor tells me that to begin improving your health he will need to take some measurements. I will be there with you the whole time and if you like I can start teaching you how to sign while he works."

Gaster considered the king's offered hand, it was already late enough in the day that there wouldn't be much time left after his measurements were taken. The king had never said if he would still have to do tests but things had already been so strange that he didn't know what to expect. Gaster could stand on his own but he slowly brought his hand up to the king's anyway, his movements to grip it were still hesitant but they weren't as fearful as they were last time.

The king gave a reassuring nod and a gentle tug to Gaster's hand. Gaster cautiously slid off the cot as the king slowly stood, the king was careful in his movements and didn't force Gaster to move faster than he was comfortable with. After Gaster was standing the king still held his trembling hand in a loose grip, not letting go but not forcing the hold either. Gaster looked up at the king's face towering over him and then back down at the king's large hand which easily enveloped his own.

Touch had never been a pleasant thing for Gaster. The doctor had never used physical punishments, they preferred the collar for that. Contact with others just wasn't something that Gaster had ever been comfortable with. As he held the king's hand though he realized that the touch was less uncomfortable to him than usual. He was in too deep already wasn't he?

Gaster took a deep breath and gave the king's hand a small squeeze as he looked back at the large monster's face, the king seemed to smile even more warmly at that. The king started toward the door and Gaster followed, keeping his hand in the king's as he went. The king ducked out of the room with Gaster in tow and turned to the doctor, who stood just outside the room tapping his foot as he waited among the king's guard. Gaster narrowed his eye-sockets at the doctor and moved slightly to put the king more between them.

"We are ready Drake." The doctor gave a quick nod, ignoring Gaster as he led the group down the hall. Gaster's pace was slow, even more so than usual with his body still recovering from the strain of the day before. He could barely manage more than a shuffle but the king slowed his steps to match Gaster's. The king kept an eye on him as they walked but didn't seem upset by the small strides that Gaster was able to manage. The doctor though didn't slow his pace at all and so was forced to stop once every few strides. He would tap his foot and stare back at the others irritably, sometimes huffing quietly or crossing his arms as he waited for them to catch up before moving on again. The king paid the doctor no mind and so Gaster didn't try to force himself to walk faster like he normally would have.

Eventually they made it to the monitoring room, the king's guard remained in the hall when they entered. The doctor went over to the far counter to begin pulling papers and measurement tools out of cupboards while Gaster and the king stood by the exam table. Gaster fidgeted slightly while he stood, he had never liked the doctor's firm hands but the thought of letting the doctor so close to him after what had happened sent more shivers down his spine than usual.

The king glanced down at Gaster and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "Drake, perhaps you should explain to him what you will be doing today so that he won't be as nervous."

The doctor didn't turn back as he spoke. "It is already familiar with the procedures."

The king gave a slightly frustrated sigh as he turned toward the doctor, "well you can explain them to me then."

The doctor continued retrieving items without looking back, "there won't be time to do most of the measurements that are usually made. I will be focusing on the energy transfer rate between the soul and the body as well as the overall quantity of magic."

Gaster glanced up at the king, the doctor was still turned away from them and the king was watching the doctor as he spoke. Gaster slowly slid his free hand underneath his gown, he watched the position of the king's face carefully as he brought his fingers up to the fabric tied around his rib.

The doctor continued speaking, going on in the same bored tone he used when he had to explain something to the assistants. "These sensors read magic level and frequency, I will collect data while the subject is idle and then again while doing several exercises."

While the doctor had the king's attention and neither were looking at him Gaster gave the knot a tug, freeing the scalpel from it's resting place. Gaster didn't try to catch it as it slid from between his ribs. He tilted his head down and narrowed his eye-sockets as they lit with cyan magic, he used his magic to catch the scalpel just before it hit the floor.

The doctor continued speaking, "I must begin with collecting data on more specific fluctuations in the body's energy and magic rather than focusing on soul as usual."

Very slowly Gaster moved the scalpel along just above the floor, sliding it to the side away from the king's field of view. Maneuvering it to glide along the wall he carefully slid it behind a desk along the side wall, gently placing it down among the syringes he already had hidden there. Gaster let go of his magic, his eye-lights flickering back to their normal white dots as he did so. As he tilted his head back up he noticed the king was looking down at him.

Gaster's eye-lights flicked in and out as his wide eye-sockets snapped up to the king. It took him a moment to reign in his panic as he realized the king was looking at him with concern rather than accusation or displeasure. "Are you alright young one?" Gaster remained still for a moment before he gave a stiff nod and ducked his head again, avoiding the king's gaze. "Are you sure?" Gaster gave another quick nod, not looking up at the king as he felt an uncomfortable pit start to grow in his chest.

The king peered down at Gaster, his hand which still held Gaster's gently ran it's thumb over the back of Gaster's fingers in a soothing motion. "Young one, I won't be angry with you if you are not feeling well. Are you sure you are alright?" Gaster felt the pit in his chest twist a little, he quickly nodded his head without looking up. The king gave Gaster's hand another squeeze but didn't press him further.

The doctor turned back from the counter, bringing with him a container filled with sensors and several other instruments. "Up." He gave a curt command as he always did, he only spoke to Gaster in full sentences when his temper was already thin. Gaster reluctantly released the king's hand and pulled himself up onto the exam table, he still avoided the king's eyes. He stiffened as the doctor started attaching sensors to him, the doctor didn't look at Gaster's face as he worked.

The doctor moved mechanically, not being gentle in his work but not showing obvious signs of being more displeased than usual other than the ridged set of his jaw. Gaster tentatively brought his hand up and gripped his collar, his eye-lights watching the doctor carefully as he did so. The doctor slowed slightly as his eyes lingered on Gaster's hand but he still didn't look Gaster in the eye. Gaster's shaking grasp firmed as he glared at the doctor in defiant challenge.

After all of the sensors were set the doctor moved over to the displays to watch the progress of the scan, he pointedly ignored the others as he stared at the screens and shifted through papers. Gaster took a deep breath once the doctor moved away, trying to relax some now that they were at a comfortable distance. The king moved closer to the table, giving Gaster another reassuring smile as he drew near. "You are doing very well young one. While we are waiting would you like to learn some signs?"

He still had a hard time meeting the king's gaze, the pit in his chest lightened some but besides his anxiousness it was still a learned habit for him to keep his eyes down. Gaster looked up at the king but it took him a moment before he nodded and he slowly gave the king his nervous attention. It wasn't that he was hesitant to learn, it was just that he was still getting used to being addressed and having to respond. He had to keep reminding himself that unlike the doctor, the king was actually speaking to him and wanted him to answer. Maybe once he knew some words then it would be easier, maybe if he could speak with others they wouldn't look right through him.

The king positioned himself directly in front of Gaster. "Some monsters might be a little out of practice with their signs but they will still be able understand you, most learn signs now out of tradition rather than to be used in their daily lives. Signs were more commonly used when we still lived among the humans so that it was easier for certain monster types to communicate with them." Gaster's face scrunched up slightly in confusion at the king's explanation. "Oh, yes, I will save the history lesson for later. For now we will start with some of the basics but if there is a word that you don't know or if you are not sure what it means just let me know, alright?" Gaster gave a quicker nod this time.

"This means 'yes'," the king made a gesture in the air. "Now you try." Gaster carefully mimicked the king's movements, drawing a smile from the king.

"Very good, now this means 'no'." Again Gaster copied the king, making the gesture as smooth as he could with his shaking hands.

"Good, now this is what you use when you speak about yourself, it means 'I' or 'me'." The king signed and Gaster copied him.

"This is when you are talking about someone else, when saying 'you'."

The king showed Gaster signs for 'hello' 'goodbye' 'please' 'thank you' and 'you're welcome', explaining what each meant as he went. The king continued to show Gaster gestures, once every few he would ask Gaster to repeat them to him again. Gaster caught on very quickly, memorizing each sign as it was shown to him. He took in the movements and meanings without having to ask for them to be repeated, it just felt natural to him.

He became so absorbed in learning the gestures and words that for a while he was distracted enough to forget the ache in his bones. As he worked with the king his nervousness slowly melted away and he even began to smile back at them. Gaster felt the flame of hope in his soul grow a little.


	9. Unexpected Changes

Gaster had already picked up a few dozen signs by the time the scan finished.

The king seemed surprised by Gaster's quick pace and sharp memory. Gaster was able to repeat most of what he had learned with little need for pause or prompting. He even gave the king a small smile, it was genuine even if it was not easy to make. He had rarely had a reason to smile before but the king's company made him want to.

The doctor gathered up his papers and printouts from the displays before approaching the king. "Sir we are running short on time, we must move on to the next room."

The king gave a nod before glancing at Gaster, "are you going to remove the sensors first Drake?"

The doctor was already heading for the door. "No, they will need to be in place for the remaining scans and we are already behind schedule."

The smile slipped from Gaster's face, they had finished in the monitoring room much faster than he had thought they would. The doctor had skipped most of the usual measurements so now there was a lot more time left for tests than he had hoped for. His gaze fell and he began to tremble a little more, now that he wasn't distracted the deep ache of his still recovering bones crept back into his awareness. He had hoped the king wouldn't make him do any more tests.

The king noticed the shift in Gaster's frame, "it's alright young one, you are doing very well." The king held his hand out but Gaster stared at it without moving more than his trembling made him. The king's face grew concerned as he knelt down next to the exam table, bringing him eye to eye with Gaster. He gently rested his large hand on Gaster's shoulder, "are you alright young one? What's wrong?"

Gaster tensed slightly at the contact, his dimmed eye-lights shifting to meet the king's searching gaze. Hesitantly he brought his hand up and held it in front of himself for a moment before he timidly signed, ' _no, please._ ' He didn't know the word for test yet, after a second he signed again, ' _no doctor, please._ '

"I won't let the doctor hurt you young one." The king's voice grew gentle. "Whatever he has planned for you to do, I won't let him hurt you. I promised nothing bad will happen, remember?" The king gave a reassuring smile as he gave Gaster's shoulder a gentle squeeze. Gaster looked into the king's eyes for a moment before he gave a small nod. The king held out his hand and Gaster slowly placed his own in it.

The group traveled through the halls at the slow pace that Gaster was able to set until they arrived at the physical testing room, the doctor's obviously growing impatience becoming more visible along the way. The guards once again waited in the hall while the doctor, the king and the skeleton entered the room.

The doctor immediately began altering the settings on the treadmill while Gaster eyed it unhappily. He disliked most of the tests but he held a special hate for the treadmill. The doctor moved over to the nearby monitor screen, "come." He didn't look away from the machine as he spoke.

Gaster looked up pleadingly at the king one last time. The king gave Gaster a look of understanding as he squeezed his hand. "It's alright young one, just do what you are able to and take it easy. I will be right here." Gaster let out a small sigh as moved to the machine and reluctantly stepped up onto it.

"Faster." He had barely started moving before the doctor spoke, he picked up his pace from a shuffle to a walk. Already he could feel his body protest the increased movement, his sore joints stiffening and his breathing growing quick. "Faster." He obeyed before he could stop himself, conditioned to follow the doctor's orders quickly during tests knowing that the alternative was even more painful. He stumbled, barely catching himself before he slowed down again. "I said faster." Gaster had to force himself not to automatically obey the doctor's order.

"Drake, there is no need to push him." The king's voice was not quite commanding, but it was firm. "He will do what he can and you will ask no more of him."

The doctor's tone turned frustrated, "I need data from the subject while it is under stress, I cannot get accurate readings if you coddle it."

Gaster continued to walk, his breathing was starting to grow ragged and he could feel his soul beat irregularly in his rib-cage.

The king flicked his ear, "he is already under stress, there is no need to push him to his limit."

"The edge of ability is where the most useful data is." The doctor shifted back a little when the king narrowed his eyes. "I'm only trying to do my job," the doctor turned stiffly back to the screen.

Gaster stumbled again, slowing even more. "That is enough young one, you can stop." The king caught him as he slipped off the treadmill, gently lowering him to sit on the floor. Gaster stiffened some at the unexpected catch but he was still grateful for it, he worked to catch his breath as the king supported him. The doctor gave the king a sour look but said nothing more.

The doctor had Gaster do a few more tests using some very small weights along with various stretches and range of motion tests. Gaster didn't mind these as much and with the king hovering over the doctor's shoulder he wasn't pushed as far as he usually was. Light as the tests were compared to what he was normally forced to do, they still drained Gaster's energy fast.

"We must hurry if we are to complete the last measurements before the day is out." The doctor was already striding toward the door as he spoke.

"Need there be more Drake? He is already exhausted." Gaster leaned against the king's arm, very aware of the contact but unable to muster the strength to stand upright on his own.

The doctor slowed, "it is necessary to collect all readings consecutively, otherwise we will have to start over again."

The king sighed, "very well." He glanced down at the weary skeleton. "Are you able to keep going young one? I won't force you to but I would hate for you to have to go through this again."

Gaster very much did want to stop but he also didn't want what he'd already done to have been for nothing. Though the tests hadn't been as harsh as usual he was still in greater pain than normal from the day before and was already beginning to feel the strain of adding to it. He glanced up at the king and slowly nodded, if he was lucky the doctor would continue going easy on him with the king watching. The king frowned slightly while looking down at Gaster, then he reached down and easily scooped up the tired skeleton into his arms.

Gaster instantly went ridged as the king carried him toward the door, the sudden hold making him panic before he realized what was going on. He forced himself to breath and to calm down in slow increments until he was only tense instead of limb-locked stiff. The king strode easily down the hall while carrying him, the hold was gentle but also protective. Gaster tried to slow the quick beating of his soul as the king smiled warmly down at him.

They quickly arrived at the magic testing range, the doctor leading them over to the target area. The king eyed the doctor as he set up recording devices. "I don't know how much more he can do Drake, you will not push him to the point of danger."

The doctor waved his hand dismissively, "using magic is less taxing on it than physical activity. Since only a portion of the energy used in magical attacks is channeled through the body it puts much less strain on the subject."

The king gave a slightly displeased hum as he looked down at the clearly worn out skeleton in his arms. "Does he need to stand on his own for these tests?"

The doctor sighed as he continued setting up, "do what you will. I don't care as long as it is able to manifest attacks."

The king carried Gaster over to the line on the floor that marked the summoning area. He knelt down and positioned Gaster in his lap so that he would have a good view of the target. Gaster looked up cautiously at the king as he settled into position. "If you don't mind young one I would like you to stay sitting, I don't want you to push yourself any more than you have to." Gaster gave the king a timid nod, he was still tense but he wasn't as uncomfortable in the king's hold as he had expected to be. Beyond that he wasn't sure if he could stand for very long even if he was leaning against the king for support.

"Begin." Gaster turned to the target, raising his hand he focused his magic as cyan light filled his eye-sockets. He summoned a bone from the floor and sent it forward, summoning another after the first hit it's mark. Using his magic was much easier for him than any of the physical tests had ever been. One at a time he summoned white bones and sent them at the target.

"Blue." At the doctor's command he switched to light blue bones. These ones were a little smaller than his others, they took more energy to cast so he didn't try to make them as large as his regular attacks. He summoned a few more single attacks. "White."

He switched back to a white bone. "Blue." He switched again. "White." The doctor had him switch back every other attack, then the doctor started having him switch in different patterns. Gaster kept going and soon even the comparatively easy use of magic started to weigh on him.

He suddenly felt like he had no energy left and it was as if a weight had been dropped on his mind as he felt himself begin to faint. Panicking he struggled to remain conscious, dropping his attack he grasped for the king's hand as he tried to stay conscious. Gaster was used to fainting but the sudden loss of energy rattled him, the memory of nearly falling down permanently was still fresh in his mind. He took deep breaths as the shadows at the edge of his vision slowly began to fade.

"That's enough young one." The king pulled Gaster into a gentle embrace. "That's enough, you've done very well." Gaster stiffened but didn't pull away, after a moment he began to relax as he looked up into the king's concerned eyes and he felt his dwindling energy start to return. "He cannot do any more tests today Drake." The king began to delicately remove the sensors from Gaster's bones.

The doctor gave a grunt as he looked over his readings. "I suppose that will have to do." He came over to collect the sensors from the floor, once they were all placed into their container the doctor pulled a syringe from his pocket. Gaster stiffened slightly at the sight of it, he knew he needed it but he didn't want the doctor so close to his soul. "It should be placed on the floor for the application of the supplement." Gaster's grip on the king's hand tightened.

The king gently lowered Gaster to the floor but didn't force him to release his hand. When the doctor didn't move the king spoke. "You may go ahead Drake."

The doctor frowned at the king. "That is inadvisable, the subject's body will seize from the influx of energy and if you are too close you will take damage."

"I will be fine Drake." The king's voice was calm but also resolute, he would not be argued out of this. The doctor's frown deepened as he stared at the king. After a moment he leaned down to pull Gaster's gown aside and he reached the syringe into Gaster's rib-cage.

Gaster breathed in sharply as he felt the needle enter his soul. His grip on the king's hand tightened further as he spasmed, his body flailed back against the floor. It didn't last long and he was quickly left panting as the energy seeped into his bones. He hesitantly glanced up at the king, fearful that he may have hurt them. He was even more fearful that the king would be upset with him.

The king appeared unhurt as he gazed down at Gaster with saddened eyes. "It's alright young one, it's alright." The king scooped Gaster up as he stood, gently holding him to his chest. Though Gaster now had more energy he still felt very worn, he tensed but didn't protest to the king carrying him. "Drake you need to make this a priority. I won't have this child put through unnecessary torture."

The doctor paused in gathering his papers with a sigh, "if you insist sir."

"I do." The king flicked his ear, "do you need anything else from me today?"

"No sir, nothing more for now."

The king walked out of the room with Gaster in his arms, leaving the doctor behind. The king's guard followed as they moved through the halls, shadowing them silently but for the clanking of armor. After a short while Gaster realized they weren't heading in the direction of his room. He began tracking their movements in his mind as they went but the king was heading to a part of the lab that he had never been to before.

The king stopped in front of a door, gently he lowered Gaster to his feet before turning the handle and opening it. "This is your new room." The king smiled as he gestured for Gaster to enter. Gaster slowly stepped inside, barely able to comprehend what he was seeing. The room was the same shades of white and grey as the rest of the lab but it felt much more inviting. The king followed him in, gesturing to the right side of the room as he spoke, "that is your bed, with your own blanket and pillow." The king signed as he went, showing Gaster what was in the room.

There was a small table next to the bed with stout cloth-shaded lamp and at the far end of the bed there was a bookshelf along the same wall. Gaster hesitantly ran his fingers over the colorful thin-spined books, looking back up at the king as he did so. "Once you know your signs well enough I will teach you how to read and write."

The king continued to the other side of the room, there was a dresser and a toy chest against the left wall. Toward the back of the room was a dividing wall that extended from the right and ended halfway across the floor. On the closer side of the small wall was a simple desk with drawers and a straight backed chair. The king led him around the dividing wall, on the left side where it was still visible from beyond the wall there was a sink with a small cupboard underneath it. On the wall above the sink was a rectangular mirror that was a little too high for him to see into. To the right where it was hidden by the wall was a glass walled floor shower. The king showed him how the water worked in both the sink and the shower, then he pointed out a small step stool next to the sink.

Gaster pulled the step stool out and positioned it in front of the sink, when he stepped up he was tall enough to look into the mirror. His breath quickened and he blinked a few times, he had caught glimpses his reflection warped and distorted across medical tools but he had never seen it clearly before. His features were mostly plain and smooth except for the thin fractures in his skull that stuck out starkly against his bone white complexion. He turned his head slightly as he blinked his eye-sockets and moved his jaw to watch the skeleton in the mirror mimic him. He could see signs of weariness in his features but overall he looked much more . . . young than he thought he would. He hesitantly reached a hand up to trace the thin hairline cracks on his face, somehow they were more prominent than he had imagined. They sometimes itched but they had never hurt him, though they looked like they should.

Gaster turned to the king who had been watching him with a slightly saddened expression. Gaster looked down and fiddled with his hands for a moment before he hesitantly brought his gaze back up to the king. He pointed at the cracks, ' _why?_ '

The king sighed and closed his eyes for a moment before he looked at Gaster again, "that question has a complicated answer young one. I will tell you but I don't have enough time to explain all of it to you today and I don't want to leave you with half of an answer. I'm sorry but it will have to wait until next time."

Gaster frowned slightly as he looked down at his hands again before giving a small nod, when he looked back up the king was gesturing for him to follow. The king led him over to the dresser, pointing out a large wicker basket that sat next to it. "This is for your clothes after you are finished with wearing them, when they are dirty and need to be washed you put them in here." The king opened a drawer in the dresser and started pulling out several pieces of clothing. The king held them up in front of Gaster one at a time until he found ones that appeared to match the skeleton's size best. He ended up handing over a plain grey shirt and some dark blue sweat pants. Gaster took the clothes and stared at them in bewilderment, not entirely sure what to do with them. Gaster looked back up at the king who seemed to be caught between warm amusement and sad understanding.

"It's alright young one, I will help you with those." The king knelt down and took the clothes from Gaster, setting them aside the king gently motioned for him to turn around. Gaster did so slowly, unsure of what the king was doing. He stiffened slightly as he felt the king start to undo the ties at the back of his gown. "There are only a few of these clothes that are in your size but now that I know what will fit you I will be able to bring more later."

When the last tie was undone the gown came loose and started to slip off Gaster's frame, he caught it before it could fall all of the way off. He slowly turned back to face the king, still clutching it to his chest. The king gestured for Gaster to give it to him but he shook his head and didn't let it go. The king gave him a sympathetic look. "That's alright young one, you can hold onto it." It wasn't that Gaster was embarrassed about showing what was underneath it, there really wasn't that much to see. It was just that without it he felt vulnerable, it wasn't exactly armor but it was the only protection he'd ever had. Besides that, the doctor had only ever removed his gown before they went to the surgery room. He felt his soul shudder at the thought.

The king held up the sweat pants and indicated for Gaster to step into them, Gaster eyed the garment for a moment before moving to do so. He was forced to grab the king's shoulder with one hand to keep his balance as he tried to maneuver his feet into the holes. Gaster looked up at the king timidly but the king only smiled at him. The king gently slid the pants up and positioned them on Gaster's hip bones so that when he tied the string securely at the front they didn't slide off.

The king then had Gaster hold his arms up one at a time as he slid the shirt onto them. Gaster still clung to the gown as the king pushed the shirt over his head. There was a moment where Gaster had to fight down panic as he struggled with the garment before he was able to pull his head though. Once the shirt was all the way on he looked down at the new clothes that he was now wearing. They hung loosely from his body, though like the gown they seemed to be naturally repelled by his magic to form around him at a greater volume than his bones required. He poked at the shirt just below his rib-cage, it easily bowed into the space with no bones but then automatically shifted back out when he removed his hand.

He looked up to find the king smiling at him with amusement, he ducked his head slightly though he still held the king's gaze. "I'm afraid there are not any striped shirts here that will fit you, you are just a little too big for the ones that I have. I will have to try to find some in the proper size later." The king's smile tugged down a little. "Unfortunately you will still have to wear the gown while the doctor is working with you but otherwise I hope that wearing these during your free time will make you feel more comfortable."

Gaster looked down at the gown that he still held in his hands, the clothes he was wearing now felt strange but they also felt like far better protection than the gown ever had. After a moment he slowly lifted the gown over the wicker basket and let it drop in, he looked at the king to see the amused smile return. He found that he liked it when the king smiled.

There came a soft knock at the door. The king tilted his head slightly toward it and sighed before turning back to Gaster. "I'm sorry but I must be going now young one." He paused for a moment before he reached out and gave Gaster's shoulder a gentle squeeze, Gaster still stiffened out of reflex but almost immediately relaxed again. The king smiled encouragingly down at him, "I will be back again tomorrow. I'm sorry about what happened today, I did not realize the doctor would have you push yourself so hard. You should have been given more time to rest before he had you do those tests. I will have to talk to him to make sure what he has planned for you next will not be so demanding."

The king looked around the room for a moment, "this was one of the spare resting rooms that the assistants use, I have brought what I thought you would need but if you feel like you need something more just let me know." Gaster looked up at the king uncertainly but the king still smiled down at him. "This is your room now young one, all of this belongs to you."

Gaster's gaze shifted to take in the room and the many things in it. He was already feeling so overwhelmed by everything, but this? Being given things that belonged to him, he felt almost startled by the thought of it. He hesitated a moment, looking down at his hands. This was so much more than he could have thought possible, than he had dared to hope for.

It was too much, it just wasn't possible for this much good to happen. He found that he was holding his breath, he felt like he was waiting for the floor to fall away beneath him. He looked up into the king's face, searching for a catch, a lie, anything. But all he saw was that genuine, warm smile.

The king saw his uncertainty. "Young one I'm sorry that you have to stay here, if I could I . . . " The king's smile tugged down slightly as he sighed, "I'm sorry that this is all I can do for you."

Gaster was overwhelmed by what he had already been given and the king thought that it was not enough? He straightened a little as he looked back at the king in disbelief. How was it that the king could care so much? Gaster took a deep breath as he tentatively reached out and placed his hand on the king's shoulder to give it a small squeeze. He looked into the king's eyes and he gave the best smile he could manage, ' _thank you._ '

The king smiled even more warmly back at him, "you are welcome young one." The king gave Gaster's shoulder another gentle squeeze, "I will see you tomorrow." The king stood, he gathered up the pile of extra clothes as he moved toward the door.

As the king left he turned to give Gaster one last smile. Gaster gave the king a barely hesitant, ' _goodbye._ '


	10. A new day

Some things were still the same but everything else was different, it felt like things could only get better from here.

Right after the king left Gaster crawled up onto the bed and sat back against the wall, taking in the sight of the room. It was several times the size of the small room that he had lived in before and it was all his, the thought was almost intimidating. Gaster thought about how the day had gone, he was exhausted and ached badly but today had still been a good day. There had been tests but they hadn't been as bad as they usually were, so far the king had kept his word, and then some. Gaster could barely contain the hope in his soul that ached to be set free but he still didn't dare to release it. Not yet, not quite yet.

He reached up to grip his collar with one hand as he rubbed at his femur through the cloth of his pants with the other. There was still something out of place that he had to take care of, hopefully he wouldn't have to wait very long before he could retrieve his scalpel. He was able to mostly relax but there was still the slight tension in his soul that he knew wouldn't go away without it.

Gaster heard the power start to wind down, the lights slowly shifted to dim mode leaving the room dark just the same as they had in his old room. As the lights wound down he noticed there was a small soft light coming from near the bottom of the wall between the bed and the small table next to it. He crawled across the bed to get a better look at it, the muted light was coming from a small object sticking out of the wall close to the floor. He reached down to touch it, tapping it a few times before he slid back onto the bed. It wasn't a powerful glow but he liked that it kept the room from becoming deeply dark like his other room had been.

His jaw stretched in a quiet yawn as he pulled at the blanket on the bed, he examined the soft fabric as he grasped it in his hands. He bunched it up in the center of the bed, moving the material around curiously before poking at the pillow. The bed was softer than his cot had been and both the blanket and pillow were made from comfortable material. He pulled them to the back of the bed against the wall and arranged them into a bowl shaped pile before he curled up into them.

He sunk into the soft fabric, nestling into the material. Though his mind still buzzed with everything that had happened he smiled contently to himself as his exhaustion caught up with him and his slowly muting thoughts focused on one thing. As he closed his eye-sockets for the first time in his life Gaster believed it when he told himself that tomorrow would be a good day. He quickly fell into a peaceful sleep before he could remember to go over his usual plans for escape in his mind.

Gaster woke the next morning when the lights brightened back up with the hum of returning power in the walls. He shifted stiffly, stretching his shivering and aching body out as he slowly remembered where he was. He sat up and leaned back against the wall behind him as he rubbed at his face and tried to blink the sleep away. He felt his bones stiffly protest even these easy movements, he had definitely been pushed far too much in the last two days.

Looking out at the room he realized that he hadn't had a chance to actually look at anything in it closely yet. He felt his curiosity spark as he looked at all of the new objects that he had never seen anywhere else. He eased himself gently from the bed, moving carefully to try to work the worst of the stiffness out of his bones. Within a short time he was able to warm up his softly creaking joints a little as he woke more despite their ache. One of the assistants would be coming with his morning injection soon and he would feel better once he had more energy.

He wasn't even sure where to start with so many things catching his gaze, he shuffled to the center of the room and glanced at the door. Unlike the door to his old room this one appeared to be a normal door like any other in the lab. There was a handle at about halfway down it's middle near the edge of it and there had been no scanner on the wall outside.

Gaster stepped slowly toward it, would it just open if he turned the handle? Standing right next to it he tentatively reached up to grasp the handle and ever so slowly he twisted down. As the handle moved to a stop he heard the soft click of the door unlatching. He held his breath as he pulled just slightly and the door moved a sliver toward him. That was it? Could he just open the door and . . . walk out? Could he just leave? Agonizingly slowly he pulled the door open a crack and peered out, he couldn't see anyone in his limited view. Even more slowly he eased the door more and more until he could see the area just next to the door. One of the king's armored guard stood there staring back at him.

Gaster forced the door shut, quickly stumbling back as he braced himself for the guard to storm in. He stared at the door as he held his breath, wide eye-sockets locked onto it but it didn't open. He waited as more seconds slowly ticked by but the door stayed closed. He tensely inched back toward it, after a moment he reached for the handle again. Hesitantly he pulled the door open just to the point where he could see the guard. The guard still stared back at him.

Gaster slowly eased the door shut again. He stood next to the door's frame, head pressed to the wall to try to hear any movement on the other side. He couldn't hear anything and after a moment he opened the door slightly, looking at the guard who still just stood next to the doorway watching him. Gaster resisted the urge to slam the door closed as the guard moved slightly, shifting their footing. Turned slightly toward Gaster the guard lifted their hand and gave him a small wave. Gaster closed the door again.

After a second Gaster opened the door, easing it so that the gap was slightly wider than before. The guard was still facing him but didn't move again. Gaster tentatively lifted his hand and gave a small return wave. Gaster couldn't see the guard's face but he could hear them chuckle softly from within their armor. After a moment Gaster closed the door.

He stepped back from the door and eyed it as he gave a small sigh, he hadn't really expected it to be that easy but he still felt a little deflated from the small defeat. Turning Gaster moved over to the dresser, the nearest object along the side wall and after a moment started pulling the drawers open. There were a few other shirts and pants inside but not many, there was also several spare medical gowns but most of the drawers were empty.

He passed the wicker basket and walked over to the toy chest, pulling the lid open he looked down into the container. There was a wide variety of things inside, all of them far more colorful than the objects he was used to seeing. Some were made from soft looking fabric and others looked to be made plastic or wood. Some were simple and solid while others looked to be flexible or made of many pieces put together. Gaster eyed them for a moment, reaching in he shifted a few around while wondering what they were for. Many of the objects seemed similar but they didn't look like any of the tools he had seen in the lab. He wanted to examine them more closely but after a moment he glanced back up. He still wanted to look at the rest of the room.

He glanced back down and then up again indecisively before he reluctantly lowered the lid. He needed to see if there was anything familiar and useful first before he let his curiosity bog him down in one area of the room. He moved on to the cabinet below the sink, there were several fluffy towels and a few bottles of liquid that the king had called soap but little else.

Moving back into the main area of the room he went to the desk. Looking into it's drawers Gaster found several blank notebooks along with many different writing utensils of various shapes and sizes. Several of them were sets in containers with a wide variety of colors. Putting everything back into the desk he moved over to the bookshelf.

Shifting the thin-spined books around Gaster pulled one from the shelf, opening it he saw that much of the book was filled with pictures and had little writing. Placing it back on the shelf he noticed that the books on the very bottom shelf were much thicker and less colorful than the rest. Kneeling down he brushed away cobwebs and pulled one of the heavier books forward, inside it was filled cover to cover with small writing with many diagram and charts filling it's pages. The books at the bottom seemed to have been untouched for some time.

Sliding the large book back in place Gaster stood and looked around the room. Satisfied with his initial examination of most of the larger items and containers in the room he moved back over to the toy chest. Just before he was about to open it there came a knock at the door. Gaster froze at the sudden noise, turning stiffly toward it. After a moment the king walked in.

Gaste relaxed some when he saw that it was the king and not the guard that had been outside the door, though he hadn't expected the king to be back this early. The king gave him a warm smile, "hello young one, it is good to see you again."

Gaster gave him a small smile in return, he fiddled with his hands and after a moment he signed, ' _hello, yes good._ '

The king's smile grew even warmer at that, he moved farther into the room. "I have spoken with the doctor and from what he has told me today should be a much easier day for you." The king turned to the dresser, he opened a drawer and pulled out one of the spare medical gowns. "What he has planned may seem a little strange but I will explain what is going to happen before we start so that you don't have to be nervous." The king brought the gown over and Gaster eyed it with a slight frown. "It's alright young one, I will be with you the whole time and there will be no tests for today."

Gaster looked back up at the king with widened eye-sockets, no tests? What was there to do besides tests? Gaster looked back at the gown again, the worst edge of the ache in his bones had worn off but he was still very sore. Besides that he hadn't had his morning injection yet, he wouldn't be able to go on for very long without it. He looked up at the king and after a moment mimed the gestures of giving himself an injection. Then he signed, ' _no,_ ' before making the gestures again.

The king tilted his head slightly as he watched Gaster, "don't worry young one, the doctor will be giving you your supplement this morning." Gaster frowned more at that.

The king gave an understanding smile, "I know that it is unpleasant for you, but if things go well taking your supplements shouldn't be as painful after today."

Gaster stared at the king, he didn't know how that could be possible but he wanted to believe them. The king knelt down in front of him, "but first I'm afraid you will have to put this on."

As soon as the king held the gown in front of him Gaster snatched it from his grasp, the king blinked in surprise at the action. Gaster stiffened slightly as he looked back at the king, as surprised by his own action as the king was. He clutched the gown to his chest and tilted his head down slightly as he held the king's gaze.

The king chuckled softly, "that is alight young one, you can hold onto it. But you should let me help you with those clothes."

The king had Gaster pull his arms out of the sleeves and push the bottom of the shirt up so that it rested on his shoulders. Gaster still held onto the gown tightly as the king gently pulled the shirt up off over his head. The shirt caught slightly on Gaster's collar as the king worked to remove the garment. The king eyed the mechanism with a slightly displeased expression but didn't say anything about it. Gaster held onto the king's shoulder as they carefully helped him with his pants. Gaster stepped out of them, kicking them from his feet as they clung to his ankles.

The king had Gaster turn around so that he could begin doing up the ties on the back of the gown. Gaster pulled the gown up straight into the right position on his front as the king worked on the ties. Once the gown was on properly Gaster turned back to the king who offered him his hand, Gaster took it without hesitation.

Walking through the halls was slow going but the king didn't seem to mind. Gaster tried to track where they were going but the area was still new to him and he hadn't paid as much attention as he should have yesterday before they had already entered unfamiliar territory. He wasn't sure where they were in relation to the rooms he already knew.

The king turned slightly toward Gaster, "captain Doge tells me that you were peeking out of your room earlier this morning."

Gaster stiffened slightly, his eye-lights danced across the guards until he spotted one that gave him a small wave. He noticed that this guard was distinguishable from the rest by a small plume of red feathers that stuck out from the top of his helmet. Gaster ducked his head slightly as he looked back at the king.

The king gave Gaster an amused smile, "don't worry young one, you are not it trouble. In fact if today's plans go well enough and you are feeling up to it you may go out into the lab during your free time whenever you wish." Gaster nearly gaped at the king in disbelief, he would be allowed out of his room? He could just walk out and no one would stop him?

"Though of course two of my guard will be with you at all times. You will be allowed into most parts of the lab but there are some places that are dangerous or have fragile things that you won't be allowed to enter. Because your health is still delicate you won't be able to leave the lab, you must stay inside so that if you were to need help the guards could reach one of the assistants quickly. If you get lost you can ask them to show you the way back to your room." The king's tone turned more serious, "it is very important that you be mindful of them and do what they ask, alright Gaster?" The king still seemed hesitant to use the word.

Gaster blinked at the king's change in tone, though the king's voice wasn't unkind he could tell that they meant this to be an order and not a request. He also noticed the king's near stumble over using his label. Gaster looked around at the guards, his eye-lights lingering on the captain. He knew they wouldn't let him wander off on his own but even under watch the thought of going out into the lab when he wished was exciting. He turned back to the king who was still looking down at him, he gave the king a timid nod.

The king gave him a nod in return, "that is good to hear young one."

They continued down the hall a little longer before Gaster and the king entered a room while leaving the guard in the hall. Gaster had been so wrapped up in his thoughts about the possibilities of being able to explore the lab that he didn't realize where they were until they had already entered the room. They were in the surgery room.

Gaster stiffened immediately, his soul's beat speeding up as his trembling instantly doubled. His gaze swept the room to take in the doctor who stood next to the surgery table, a cold metal thing covered in straps and bindings. Why would the king bring him here? Why would they do that to him?

Gaster pulled his hand from the king's hold, stumbling back toward the wall as panic flooded through him. He put himself in a defensive stance even as the king turned toward him with confusion and concern in his eyes. "What's wrong young one?" The king took a step toward him.

Gaster flashed magic in his eye-sockets in warning despite the heavy draw it made on his tired soul. It was all a lie wasn't it? It was all just a cruel trap. They were going to strap him down to that table and he was going to watch as they ripped the soul from his chest. The sudden pain of bitter loss in his soul made it feel like they already had.

He pressed himself against the wall, sliding back toward the corner as the king slowly approached him. He flashed his magic brighter as tears started to pour down his face. The doctor would suppress his magic and tie him down so he would be helpless to stop them. He would lay awake on that table silently screaming with every last breath he could manage as the doctor took the spinning saw to his chest and carved him open.

He hit the corner, barely able to force his trembling knees to keep him upright as his vision blurred from the tears that streamed from his eye-sockets. The king approached him slowly with hands up. He wanted to lash out, to force the king away but he couldn't make himself do it. He was going to die on that table and the king was going to stand there watching as the doctor would reach into his chest and pull out his soul. The last thing he would see would be his own soul being taken from him.

Gaster felt his magic dimming as his dwindling energy started to give out, he tried to pull on the desperate strength he had summoned before but he couldn't find it. His jaw trembled as he tried to hold in the silent wail that wanted to crawl it's way out of his throat. As the king got close he pulled his hands up in front of him, trying to make his wildly trembling hands form gestures. He was shaking too violently to even beg for his life.

Gaster forced his eye-sockets closed and covered his face with his hands as he slipped to the floor, forcing all thought from his mind as the terror overwhelmed him. He felt soft warmth envelope him and that broke the last shred of control he had. He sobbed as he was pulled into the king's embrace, wanting both to flee from them and cling to them at the same time. In the end he wrapped his fingers tightly into the fabric of the king's robe, burying his face into their chest as he wept and silently begged with everything he had that he was wrong.


	11. Fresh Scars

He cried for a long time as the king held him.

The king gently rocked Gaster as his hitching sobs slowly died and he was left quivering and clinging to the king with the last of his strength. The king's own warm tears were long dried where they had fallen on his skull by the time Gaster summoned the courage to pull his face from the king's robe. He peered up at the king, desperate and tired eye-sockets looking for a reason to hope.

The king looked back down at him with tear sore eyes, "I'm so sorry young one, I didn't realize . . . I should have known better." The king gently stroked Gaster's back as the skeleton calmed slightly.

Gaster's grip on the king's tear soaked robes loosened slowly as the stiff bones of his fingers attempted to unlock themselves from their desperate grasp. Eventually Gaster brought his shaking hands up to sign, ' _doctor here bad me._ ' Gaster struggled to keep the tears from starting anew as he silently begged the king to understand.

The king drew in a deep sigh, "I understand young one. I won't ask you to trust the doctor, but I am asking you to trust me. I cannot help you to get better if you don't trust me." Gaster looked into the king's almost pleading eyes, "I promise you that nothing bad will happen, I will keep you safe."

Gaster buried his face back into the king's robes, he wanted to trust the king but this? If he got onto that table he would be completely at the doctor's mercy, and the doctor had never shown any before. If he did this he would be putting his life in the king's hands. The king was the only person he had ever really trusted even a little, but did he dare to trust them with his soul?

Gaster shuddered a little more as he gave a stiff nod into the king's robes. The king slowly scooped him up and carried him over to the table, easing him onto it with gentle movements. Gaster still clung to the king as he lifted his head enough to peek around them into the rest of the room. The doctor stood at the far counter stiff and completely still with his back to them.

"Drake." The doctor shivered at the king's deliberately calm tone. "You should finish preparing." The doctor cautiously started gathering items from cupboards while carefully not turning away from the far wall.

The king looked down at Gaster and tried to give a reassuring smile but it looked a little forced. "I would not have brought you here if you did not need this." The king gently ran his hand up and down Gaster's back in a soothing motion.

A silent whimper vibrated through Gaster's chest as he shook his head. "I am sorry to ask you to go through this now but it is something that cannot wait." Gaster looked up at the king, face still half pressed into their robes. "This must happen now, I don't wish to put you through this twice." Gaster shook a little more as he looked up at the king's set features, he could tell this wasn't a request. After a moment he gave a small shaky nod.

"The doctor will be giving you something he calls a soul catheter." Gaster pulled back slightly as the king looked down at him, listening as he spoke. "It is a tube that will be inserted shallowly into your soul, it may be uncomfortable at first but it will not hurt like the supplements do. There is a valve in the tube that will slow the supplement as it passes through so that when it enters your soul it will not be as painful."

Gaster's eye-sockets widened at that, he really didn't like the idea of something being stuck into his soul. He pressed his eye-sockets closed and took a deep breath as he nodded again to show that he understood. He could trust the king, he told himself. He could trust the king, he held on tightly to the flickering ember of hope in his soul that remained. He might not survive if it went out.

It was an effort to force his eye-sockets open again, he couldn't stop himself from flinching as the doctor approached.

The doctor kept his gaze low and spoke with a carefully deliberate and neutral tone. "Your majesty the subject will need to be restrained for the procedure so that it won't be accidentally damaged by it's movements during the operation."

The king's eyes bore into the doctor as his movements to calm Gaster slowed, "you and I will be having a long talk later Drake. I will want to know about everything that might have the slightest possibility of upsetting this child and exactly why."

The doctor stiffened slightly, his eyes almost coming up to meet the king's before they darted back down again. "As you wish your majesty."

The king flicked his ear as he turned back to look at the skeleton that still clung to him. "I need you to do this young one, it will not hurt at all I promise. I am sorry but I would not ask this of you if you did not need it."

Gaster looked up at the king with frightened and fizzling eye-lights as he tried to keep his nauseous soul from heaving, not that he had any energy left to sick up at this point. He could trust the king. He managed to give a tiny nod.

"Alright, I will give you a moment if you need it, just let me know when you are ready."

Gaster pressed his face back against the king's chest but did his best to resist the urge to bury himself against the king. If he did he might never let go. He gave a quick nod and tried to hold back the tears that threatened to start again. He would never be ready to be strapped to that table but every moment he waited knowing what was to come would be torture. If he had to do this he just wanted it done with.

The king brought his hands up to Gaster's shoulders and gently guided him to sit up on his own. Gaster let go of the king's robes and and he clutched at his gown as the king reached around him to undo the ties at his back. Once all the ties were loose Gaster held the gown tightly to his chest hunching over it slightly, with great reluctance he let the king take it from him. He curled more in on himself as he sat on the table stripped of his only protection, he felt so vulnerable. His soul floated visibly in his rib-cage, exposed and easily within reach of anyone near.

The king breathed in sharply as he took in the sight of the small skeleton's exposed bones. He had seen earlier that beyond the concentrated marks on the child's femur there were faint scars littered across his body. Most of these were long faded and could have been from before Gaster had ever been awake. What the king had not seen before was the large number of much more recent scars that were centered around the ribs and sternum just over Gaster's soul. The king reached a hand up toward the most recent scars but pulled back when Gaster shrunk away from it.

"You poor child." The king's pained gaze took in the numerous clinically precise marks that fell dangerously close to Gaster's soul.

Gaster kept his gaze down as he held his arms in front of his chest, giving his soul what meager protection he could. He did his best to keep his breathing under control as he struggled to hold back fresh tears. He could trust the king, he kept repeating to himself. He clung to those words as he was laid back onto the table.

The doctor reached up to Gaster's collar, turning it until he found the component he was looking for. Gaster felt the weight of the suppression field hit him, combined with how low his energy already was he almost passed out. His vision blurred and it became hard to breath. His soul felt like it had been crammed into a box and his bones felt like they were stuffed with cotton.

Gaster balked when he felt the first strap touch him. He tried to sit up but his body barely responded and the doctor's hand on his shoulder easily held him down. He could barely see and his hand fumbled toward the fuzzy outline of the king. When the king's hand found his he gripped it as tightly as his weak grasp would allow.

Gaster focused his hazy and slipping mind on the king's hand, trying to not let panic overwhelm him at the feeling of the straps tightening as the doctor bound him to the table.

The doctor turned to the side, preparing his tools on a tray next to the table. "Drake, he will not be needing anesthetic for this will he?" Gaster clenched his jaw as he heard metallic clinking sounds from the things in the doctor's hands. "You informed me that this would be painless and I will not have you make me one to break a promise."

The doctor gave a restrained grunt. "The only part of the catheter that will be invasivly affixed to the subject is the tip and the balloon seal which will hold it in place. As I said before the tube shaft and valve port will be attached to the ribs and clavicle via metal bands which will be fastened without physical damage to the subject." The doctor gave a tense sigh, "not that anesthetic would have an appreciable effect." The doctor stiffened slightly as the last words slipped out.

The king turned toward the doctor, still holding Gaster's hand in comfort. "What do you mean by that Drake?"

The doctor resumed preparing, "the subject will not be needing anything, this procedure will not cause it pain."

"That is not what I meant Drake, what did you say about anesthetic?"

Gaster could practically feel the doctor grasping for an answer as he avoided the kings's eye. " . . . anesthetic is not an effective pain relief method for the subject."

The king's tone sharpened, "and what would be an effective method for use during surgeries?"

The doctor shuffled slightly, "due to the fact that the connection between the body and soul is weak normal pain relief and healing methods have a minimal transfer of effect to the soul."

"Would that mean that you would be unable to render him unconscious for procedures?"

" . . . that is correct."

"There is nothing that could be applied safely to a soul to help with pain."

" . . . that is . . . also correct."

The king turned back toward Gaster, "are you telling me Drake." He reached his free hand down to hover over Gaster's sternum, fingers nearly brushing the deepest and far too fresh scar which ran perfectly straight down the length of Gaster's chest. The king pulled his hand away when Gaster flinched, "that these most recent marks were made while he had no pain relief and was conscious?"

The doctor didn't move a muscle as the king stood up straight again. The king took a heaving breath and Gaster could hear the knuckles of free hand popping. The king spoke with strained calmness. "I will say nothing more for now Drake. You will need your concentration to continue with what you are doing."

The doctor fumbled what he was holding but caught it before it could get away from him. He moved toward Gaster without a word.

Gaster forced his eye-sockets closed while the doctor reached into his chest cavity but he could still feel the doctor's hands moving around inside his rib-cage. He shakily squeezed the king's hand which gave him a firm squeeze in return as he tried to ignore the sickening sensation of foreign objects being placed in his chest. The doctor slipped thin metal bands around a few of his ribs, tightening them to the point where they would hold the tube of the catheter in place.

The doctor brought the tip of the catheter up to Gaster's soul, slowly easing it just under the surface. Gaster breathed in sharply, instinctively bracing himself for the pain that always accompanied the sensation of having an object inserted into his soul. But the pain didn't come, Gaster tried to slow his breathing back down while the expectation for it still remained.

The doctor pulled his hands out of Gaster's chest and moved up to his clavicle, using another metal band to fix the valve port along it. The doctor inflated the balloon seal and took a few minutes to adjust and straighten the bands so that the fit was snug and secure. He then brought out a syringe from his pocket.

The doctor brought the syringe up to the valve port and pushed the liquid magic into the catheter. It took a moment for the energy to hit Gaster, his head swam as magic poured into his soul while it was still under the suppression field. It took longer than usual for the full dose to enter his system and it made his body go ridged but it didn't cause him to seize. It didn't hurt badly but it was still unpleasant.

Finally the doctor began to undo the straps which held Gaster to the table. Gaster tried to sit up but the doctor held him down by the shoulder while he reached for Gaster's collar. As soon as the suppression field was lifted Gaster's vision fuzzed out as the rush of his magic equalizing left him dizzy.

Gaster quickly curled in on himself, his instincts still demanding him to protect his exposed soul. As his mind cleared from the rush of magic he realized the king had pulled him into a tight embrace. He shuddered as he pushed himself against the king but he kept his arms over his chest.

The king scooped Gaster up and carried him toward the door but stopped before leaving. "Drake." There was no response. "You will wait here until I return." The king left the room holding the skeleton close to his chest.

Gaster kept his eye-sockets tightly closed as he buried himself into the king's robe as best he could, he tried to focus on the comforting motion of the king's steps. Tried to be reassured by the deep breaths of the king's strong chest and the powerful arms that surrounded him. Tried to fight down the panic of feeling all these touches on his naked and exposed bones. Tried to stop swallowing to get rid the feeling the catheter gave him, as if something was stuck in his throat and he couldn't dislodge it. Tried to ignore the nauseous feeling of moving air passing through his chest cavity in a way that wasn't from his breathing. Tried not to lash out at those around him as his instincts screamed at him to protect his still very visible and vulnerable soul.

Gaster's bones rattled softly as he was held in the king's arms, he didn't notice how far they had gone until the king was placing him down on his bed. As his eye-sockets peeled open Gaster crawled into his bunched up blanket, wrapping it tightly around himself. He covered himself completely, shutting out the world by burying himself in a protective layer.

He felt the king ease down onto the bed, his quivering blanket pile leaned toward the king. The king gently pulled him to his side, Gaster pressed into him but remained under the covers. Gaster felt the little spare energy he had gained drain as he cried against the king's side. He stayed there for a long time, slowly calming enough slip into an exhausted and fitful half sleep.

Eventually Gaster started awake at the king's hands carefully lifting him from their side. Gaster didn't move as the king slowly lay him back down on the bed. The king rose from the bed and silently made his way to the door, pausing for a moment. Then he was gone.

Gaster shifted on the bed, sliding into the space the king had been sitting. He curled tightly in on himself underneath the blanket, pressing into the warmth the king had left behind. He wished the king had stayed, he brought one hand up to his collar as the other slipped down to his femur. He held in slow and shaky breaths as he pressed his hand firmly against his most recent chips, gripping hard until they stung. He couldn't escape the pain he felt in his soul.


	12. A step back

He was bone weary but he kept walking anyway.

Gaster had been traveling the halls around his room in a steadily increasing spiral outward, numbly mapping out the territory in his head. He didn't so much ignore the pair of guards that followed behind him as he much as he barely noticed anymore that they were there, he just kept moving. The more he pushed himself towards complete exhaustion the easier it was to just not think about anything. He had one hand tightly wrapped around his collar while the other clung to the fabric of the haphazardly pulled on clothes that layered his bones. After the king had left he had tried for a long time to just loose himself in sleep but the longer he lay there the worse the tension in his soul became. When he couldn't stand it any longer he had pulled on as many clothes as he could fit into and had ventured out to the halls. He might have been more nervous if he hadn't been so desperate to try to escape the frantic thoughts that tumbled around inside his head.

Gaster wasn't sure how long he had been walking for but he knew he hadn't gotten very far, his pace was tediously slow even compared to normal. Twice already an assistant had sought him out to give him an injection, which he refused to acknowledge as being far easier to take with the catheter. He didn't know how they where able to find him but he just wanted to burn off the extra energy they had given him. He had already had more doses than he unusually had in a day and there was still hours left before lights-out. He knew they were meant to help him recover faster but he couldn't handle the buzz of so much energy in his body on top of the thoughts that rattled around in his skull.

He had been burned. Again. The reasons didn't matter because the pain was there just the same. This was what happened when he dared to hope, but a part of him still clung tightly to the last embers of that fire that he had managed to hold onto. He had become too passive in his trust of the king, but the king was too great a part of his life now to be cast away. He had already become too dependent on the king, but . . . the king had been so kind to him. The only one that he could rely on was himself, but . . . but nothing. He needed to get out of this place, nothing else mattered.

Gaster's tired mind slowly quieted as he walked down the halls and he focused his dwindling mental energy on just keeping his feet moving, he took note of intersections and doors but he didn't enter any rooms. After trying a few doors early on he found that most were locked and those that weren't were usually small exam rooms much like the one he had hidden in during his attempted escape. He was starting to enter familiar territory and without really meaning to he began heading toward the rooms that he already knew.

Eventually he ended up standing outside the magic testing range and after a moment he entered. He shuffled into the room, half-focused eye-lights danced around the room only really noticing that there was no one else there. He heard the guards enter behind him but didn't turn to look at them. He stood where he was not moving but for his trembling, for a long time he just stared off into the space ahead of himself.

"You ok kid?" Gaster started at the hand that was on his shoulder. He twisted from under it, shrinking away from the guard that had come up beside him. He tilted his head down but kept his narrowed eye-sockets warily on the guard.

"Sorry kid," the guard held their hands up in a appeasing gesture, "I didn't mean to startle you."

Gaster eyed the guard for several long moments before sliding around them toward the door. He continued to travel down the halls farther from his new room despite the deepening ache in his bones. His body needed rest badly but he wouldn't be able to sleep with all the energy he had in his soul from the extra injections. He couldn't sit around with nothing but his thoughts right now, so he chose the pain that was easier to deal with.

He paused when he arrived outside the physical testing room, staring at the door for a while before moving on. He kept walking, too focused on just forcing his feet to keep moving underneath him to really pay attention to where he was going anymore. The haze on his mind cleared a little when he realized he was standing outside the monitoring room. The hand that wasn't holding his collar slid down to grip his femur but he could barely feel it through the layers of clothes he wore. He was going to take back what little control he had in his life.

Gaster walked into the room and stopped in the middle next the exam table, leaning against it slightly for support. Without turning around he carefully noted where the guards stood behind him in the room and what directions they were facing. He positioned himself so they had as little visibility of his front as possible and waited a moment to make sure they weren't moving. He tilted his head down slightly and he narrowed his eye-sockets as cyan light filled them.

If he pushed himself he could hold two things at once with his magic. He would maneuver the scalpel toward him and when he had to move it across the open floor he would distract the guards by lightly pushing a glass container off the edge of the far counter. He used his magic to reach for the scalpel behind the desk against the side wall . . . but it wasn't there.

Gaster went ridged, he was barely able to keep his eye-sockets from widening in shock. He groped in a wider area with his magic behind the desk, trying to find if it had slid some when he had placed it there. He couldn't find it, the scalpel was gone. So were the syringes.

Gaster let his magic wink out, his eye-sockets remained hollow for a moment before normal dim lights flickered back into them. The syringes were gone. This was not something he had expected to happen. Gaster's mind struggled as it switched from near idle into panicked overdrive. When had they been taken? He had always been so careful, he was certain that he'd never been seen.

They had still been there when he had placed the scalpel behind the desk, he had felt them. He briefly considered the king had seen him but no, the king had only noticed he had been holding his magic. Maybe the king had the room searched afterword? No, there would be no reason to, not even the doctor knew he could move things with his magic.

They had been taken within the last day but Gaster couldn't think of anything else he could have done to reveal their location. Had it only been that long? So much had happened and so much had changed that Gaster couldn't pinpoint what could have caused this. He forced himself away from the table and lurched toward the door. What about the other syringes? Had they been taken too, or were they still safe?

As he stepped out into the hall he stopped dead, his frazzled eye-lights focusing on the doctor. Gaster slowly started breathing again as he noticed the doctor was flanked by two guards of his own, he resisted the urge to take a step back but his gaze fell to the floor out of conditioned habit. He forced his unsteady feet to stay under him, he would not let the doctor see him fall.

"Looking for something Gaster?" The doctor's sharp words made him stiffen. "Look at me."

Gaster's gaze shot up more from surprise at the command than anything else, the doctor had never told him to look up before. He immediately wished he hadn't. The doctor's eyes held him frozen as they burned with a contained fury. They stared right through him with the disappointed anger of one who was looking at a disobedient pet. A pet that would be made to obey.

"Did you really think that I hadn't noticed?" The doctor stepped toward him. "This is no game and I no longer have the patience to indulge you in your fancys of flight." Gaster could barely breath. "The fate of the entire monster race is hinging on this, on you." The doctor leaned closer, "I will not fail them and I will not allow you to fail them either."

Gaster didn't realize he had stepped back until he bumped into the guard behind him, the doctor's own guards were pulling him back. "That's enough doctor Drake." The doctor didn't take his eyes off Gaster as he was led away.

Gaster stood leaning against the guard behind him, his trembling causing the guard's armor to clank softly. His mind was reeling so much from the encounter that he didn't even have thought left to pull away from the touch. The doctor had known he had been hiding syringes. How could that be? He had never even taken one from the doctor, only the assistants. How could the doctor have found out? The doctor had probably taken the ones he had stashed in the other rooms too, he didn't dare to hope otherwise.

"Do you want to go back kid?" Gaster might have recognized concern in the guard's voice if he could hear anything over his own strained thoughts.

His unsteady feet carried him forward, he didn't care where he went he just needed to keep moving. He kept traveling farther from his room. He would have to get more syringes, he could do that. He would have to find new places to hide them, since he could roam the lab he could find more remote places that the doctor would be less likely to find. Maybe he could even find out where the syringes came from, there was sure to be many more wherever that was. He desperately clung to that thought as his fumbling feet shuffled on.

Gaster's joints started to creak and stiffen while his bones strained with the effort to keep moving, he knew if he didn't stop soon he was going to crash but he wouldn't really mind that. The deep rest that followed passing out would be a welcome relief from the pile of things that kept happening which only seemed to be getting worse and worse. It took his sluggish mind a moment to realize that the guard had stopped him, he looked down at the hand on his shoulder barely registering it was there. "We should go back kid, you're not allowed outside the lab."

Outside? What were they talking about? Gaster looked up and realized that just down the hall was a line of large glass doors, beyond them there was dark rocky terrain that was illuminated by a soft glowing light. Gaster felt his soul skip at the sight, right there was the outside. Right there was freedom. He took a step forward, it didn't matter that he didn't have any syringes with him. He took another step, it didn't matter that he might faint any second now. Freedom was within reach.

With the next step Gaster hit the barrier. He struggled with his panic as he quickly slid his hands along the invisible wall that stood in his way, trying to find a seam or fault. Any sort of break that might let him through. There were none. That was when he heard the soft buzzing noise coming from his collar. Gaster reached back up to it, turning it in his fumbling hands until he felt the part that was making the noise. He took a step back and the buzzing quieted. He took a step forward and it became louder. He reached his hand up to the barrier and it became as loud as it had been when he first heard it.

Gaster let out a soft laugh, this was funny. The doors were just a stone's throw away from where he stood. He laughed harder, this was hilarious. Freedom was right there. He bent over with heaving breaths, laughing with no sound as he leaned against the magic wall that confined him to this place. This was the best joke yet. He laughed so hard that the shuddering breaths that he took were becoming audible, this was just hysterical.

Gaster gripped his collar tightly, yanking on it sharply so that it pulled painfully at his vertebra. The one thing that he needed even more than the injections to live was the thing that kept him most solidly trapped in his cage. It was impossible from the start, even if he had been able to manage everything else he never would have been able to walk out those doors.

Gaster could barely breath as he slid to the floor, the edges of his vision were going dark but he couldn't stop laughing. This was just too good, he had failed, completely and totally failed. He couldn't even count on himself.


	13. Mending Cracks

Despite everything he felt a little better by the next day.

Gaster lay curled up underneath his bed wrapped up in his blanket, he still wore several layers of rumpled clothes over his bones. He was tired and sore but not nearly as bad as the day before, in fact his body was almost back to it's normal level of a tolerable ache. In one hand held up near his face he idly twirled a small screw that he had pried from his bed frame using his magic. It's tip wasn't very sharp but it had a hard point. It wasn't as good as his scalpel but it had helped.

There was a soft knock at the door, Gaster gripped the screw tightly as his tense eye-lights flitted over to it. The king entered a moment later, large feet moved to the center of the room and turned slightly before the king spoke in a slightly worried tone. "Young one? Are you in here?" Gaster watched as the king moved beyond the dividing wall before quickly returning and heading for the door. Gaster knocked his knuckles against the floor, the king stopped and turned toward the sound. Slowly the king walked over to the bed, easing himself to sit down next to it.

The king leaned against the bed and held an open hand down near the edge of it. Gaster slipped the screw into his pocket and stared at the offered hand for a long time until it started to pull away. His hand darted forward to quickly grip the king's tightly before it was gone. He pulled it under the bed a little toward him, his trembling increased slightly as the king gave it a squeeze. The king didn't attempt to coax Gaster out, instead he sat silently while gently running his thumb over the back of Gaster's fingers.

It was a long while before Gaster crawled out from under the bed. As he slid into the open he quickly pulled his blanket out with him, wrapping it around his shoulders and pulling it up to hood over his head. He kept his head down but he took the king's hand tightly in his own once again.

The king spoke in a heavy voice, "I am so sorry young one, I have been cruel to you. I did not know what the doctor had done to you but that is no excuse."

Gaster pulled the blanket a little tighter around himself with his free hand but kept his gaze down. He didn't want to look at the king's face, he didn't want to see the pain and regret in the king's eyes that he could hear in their voice. He wanted to be mad at the king, wanted to not care about him. He wanted to blame the king for his hurt, wanted to not need him. The stiff frown on Gaster's face was more one of disappointed defeat than anger. He needed the king, and not just because he couldn't make it out of this place on his own anymore.

Gaster glanced up at the king, seeing the sorrow he had expected to on the king's face. He gave a tense sigh as he looked down again, ' _you no bad._ ' His gestures were terse despite the constant slight tremble of his hands. He couldn't be truly angry with the king, not like he was with the doctor but that didn't mean he was just going to let it go. ' _Doctor bad,_ ' even those gestures were halfhearted though, with the injections he had been given since he received the catheter he had to begrudgingly admit that he could no longer deny he was grateful for it.

Gaster was more frustrated than anything else at this point, he just didn't know how things were supposed to work anymore. With everything that had happened in the last few days his whole world had been turned upside down. The king was the first person that he had ever found himself caring for in his life. He believed he could trust that the king intended to help him but the king knew very little about him. Gaster didn't know if he could let himself depend on someone else, he didn't want to get hurt again but he didn't want to push the king away either. The rules that he had learned to live his life by no longer seemed to apply to the world that he lived in.

"I have known the doctor for a very long time," Gaster glanced back up again at the king's words. "I never would have thought that he would be capable of doing the things he has to you. I have given him some time to think on things," the king's tone said there was more to it than that, "but tomorrow he will be working with you again." The king gave a heavy sigh, "I would not have him do so but there is no one else who is capable of helping you as well as he can. I am sorry to say that you will still have to work with him."

Gaster looked down again, his frown deepening slightly. He had no love for the doctor but he couldn't really say that he hated them any more now than he had before he had met the king. At the least it already seemed that he could trust the king enough to ensure that the doctor wouldn't hurt him. He wished he knew the gestures to say how he felt, in the end he gave the king a stiff nod. He needed to learn more signs, needed to know more words so he could say what he wanted. He looked back up at the king again, his frown softened a little but his eye-sockets were set with determination. He made a few vague gestures, trying to indicate that he wanted the king to show him more signs.

The king frowned slightly while watching Gaster's hands, "you want . . . something?" Gaster gave a frustrated sigh but nodded, quickly going through some of the signs he had already been taught. "Oh, you want me to show you more signs young one?" Gaster nodded firmly, straightening up a little where he sat. The blanket slid off his head down to rest on his shoulders but he didn't move to pull it back over his head.

The king gave a small if still apologetic smile, "alright, that is the least I can do for you." He shifted slightly, turning more to face Gaster as he began to teach him new signs.

Gaster sat on the floor for a long time learning more signs from the king, at one point they had to pause when an assistant came to give him his injection. Several times the king wanted to stop because he was uncertain if Gaster could remember any more if they kept going. Gaster hungrily took in everything he was shown, quickly expanding the gestures he knew by the dozen.

Eventually he reluctantly agreed to stop, more because the king kept asking him to repeat the earlier gestures back than because he couldn't remember new ones. It was a satisfying increase to his sign vocabulary nonetheless. By the end Gaster was no longer frowning, and surprisingly he had managed to relax. The king smiled down warmly at him, the king's smile had a strange way of making him feel better.

"You are very clever young one, I have never seen anyone learn signs as quickly as you do," the king finally had Gaster smiling slightly at that. "May I see your hand?" Gaster tilted his head slightly at the request but tentatively offered his hand anyway.

The king took it and gently spread Gaster's finger's out straight, he leaned forward a little to get a better look at the slightly shaking hand. Gaster tensed slightly at the close examination, trying not to think of how much the look on the king's face reminded him of the doctor. The king hummed as he softly ran his own fingers over the joints in Gaster's, he nodded to himself before he released Gaster's hand.

Gaster quickly took his hand back, bringing it close to his chest. He flexed his fingers as he looked down at it, wondering why the king had wanted to see it. He glanced back up at the king, ' _what you see?_ '

"I wanted to see if something that the doctor told me was true," the king's smile tugged down slightly. "He told me many things in greater detail than he had before. Some of the things he said were hard to believe, others . . . less so." He looked at Gaster with a sad understanding. "I will do my best to never upset you as I did again but given some of the things I have learned I do not believe I can make that a promise."

Gaster frowned a little at that, ' _what doctor say?_ '

The king hesitated for a moment before he spoke, "one of the things that he told me about was the wires between your bones." He watched Gaster carefully as he continued, "I was uncertain if you already knew about them."

Gaster looked down at his hand again, relaxing a little as he inspected the thin and delicate looking wires that ran through the joints between his finger bones. ' _Yes, I know,_ ' he signed without looking back up. The wires were hard to see if you weren't looking for them, especially with his constant trembling. They appeared from the center at the end of one bone and disappeared into the next with little of them left visible.

The king seemed to tense slightly, "does it hurt you to bend them?"

Gaster glanced up, then back down again, ' _no._ ' They didn't really bother him any more than the rest of his body did.

There were wires in most of his joints, there were a few exceptions but they ran clean through the center of many of his smaller bones. The ones between larger bones were thicker but they were all definitely stronger than they looked. They reacted to his magic and were more flexible when he had more energy, that was why his joints locked up when he was lower on energy. The wires between his bones literally stiffened when they had less magic. They had also been very helpful for conducting electricity.

Gaster looked back up at the king, ' _what more?_ '

The king looked reluctant to go on but did so at the insistent look on Gaster's face. "I also learned about some of the things that your . . . monitor does." The king frowned slightly as his gaze fell on Gaster's collar, his tone turned more serious. "The doctor cannot use it to shock you again but it is very important that you never take it off, alright Gaster?" The king still said the word as if it tasted wrong on his tongue.

Gaster stiffened slightly as he looked down and he lifted his hand up to grip his collar tightly, ' _I know._ ' He knew very well what would happen if he took it off, that had been a lesson that the doctor had taught him early on.

The king didn't miss the tension in Gaster's frame, he hummed softly before going on quietly. "You have known much LOVE haven't you young one?"

Gaster glanced up before looking down again, he lifted his hand up to lightly brush his fingers over the cracks in his skull. He set his jaw as he looked back up at the king again, ' _why I damaged?_ '

The king sighed, "I did say that I would tell you about that as well didn't I?" The king shifted slightly, he avoided Gaster's gaze for a moment as he resettled. "That explanation requires some other information that you may not know in order to understand it." He paused as if to gather his thoughts. "There are many different kinds of monsters as you may have seen in the lab but you are unique. There has never been another skeleton monster before because they do not naturally exist. You were created in an unusual way in the hope the that your soul would be stronger than that of a normal monster."

The king paused to gauge Gaster's reaction but Gaster just continued to watch the king intently. "A monster's body is made up of magic and is closely connected to their soul, much like our attacks." The king paused to lift his hand up in front of him, a small fire sparked to life in his open palm. Gaster looked at it curiously and the king allowed him to run his fingers through it for a moment before he dispersed it. "Whereas a human's or animal's body is made up of matter, much like most objects you will find in the lab." The king knocked his knuckles against the floor to demonstrate.

Heavy eyes settled on Gaster as the king continued. "When a monster dies their body dissolves into dust and their soul does not remain. But a when a human dies their body, and because of it's strength their soul, will both remain intact for a time. It was because of the differences in our souls that humans and monsters fought a terrible war against each other. Monsterkind lost the war and was then sealed beneath mount Ebott, in the several hundred years that we have been underground only two humans have ever found their way to us."

The king paused to take a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment. "The first child I took in as my own, that they were human did not matter and I loved them just as much as I did my first son. I had hoped that my children would grow into examples of what humans and monsters could be if we tried to reestablish peace between our peoples but . . . it was not to be. I lost both of my children when they were still young."

Gaster reached forward to take the king's hand, giving it a squeeze as the king gave him a grateful smile. "The second human child, they lived with the caretaker of the ruins for a time before they died. The caretaker gave me their body and soul so that their death would not be for nothing and not be forgotten." The king watched Gaster carefully as he continued, "the caretaker told me much about the human child before they returned to the ruins, including how they died."

The king spoke softly as he gently pulled Gaster's hand toward him, turning it slightly so that he could easily see Gaster's right forearm. "There are many parts of the ruins that are unstable, sometimes the floors will give way to fall into the rooms below them." The king brought his free hand up to gently run his fingers over the smaller fractures that crossed Gaster's radius and ulna. "The child hit their head but I imagine that they also broke their arm in the fall."

The lights went out of Gaster's eye-sockets as he stared down at the cracks in his arm, the king watched with saddened eyes as he continued. "Usually when a monster is born they are created when their parents combine their magics with the intent of creating a new soul, the new soul's body is then formed around it. With you however a fragment from a single soul was taken and placed inside a body that already existed but no longer had a soul."

Pieces of the early conversations between the doctor and the king that Gaster had been calm enough to pay attention to started slipping through his mind. The flit around and clicked together with the things that the king was telling him, forming a whole that he wished he wasn't seeing. His body was made of both matter and magic. The connection between it and his soul was weak because both had existed separately and had then been pieced together. They hadn't been created together, they were never meant to exist together.

Gaster quickly pulled his arm back from the king, who let go of it easily. His trembling increased as hollow eye-sockets stared down at his arm, at the damage left behind when the human child fell. He reached his hands up to feel roughly at the cracks in his face, the wounds that the child had died from. The child had died and now he was walking around in the bones that they had left behind.

The king reached forward to capture Gaster's hands in his own, he held fast as Gaster struggled feebly against his grip. Gaster's halfhearted attempts to pull free slowed and his quick breaths evened as he came back to himself, the king's hold loosened as Gaster forced himself to be still. He realized how forcefully he had been pushing against the fractures in his skull as he slowly calmed and felt them throb slightly.

Gaster forced his eye-lights to flicker back in as he watched the king slowly run his thumbs soothingly over the backs of his shaking hands. "I am sorry young one, I knew that the truth would upset you but I did not wish to lie to you." Gaster stared at his small hands which were easily dwarfed by the king's own, his small child sized hands. He felt the king's thumbs run gently over the solid flat bones of his hands. The king softly slid his thumbs over the slight bumps and ridges that had at one point been many separate smaller bones before they had fused together to form solid pieces.

Gaster curled his fingers tightly around the king's hands for a moment before slowly taking his hands back. ' _Good you tell me, good I know._ ' He kept his gaze down and took a second to let his soul's quick beat calm more before signing again, ' _who my soul from?_ '

"That I don't know," the king sighed as he watched the fragile and tired looking skeleton. "I know of the process that the doctor used but I do not know who was chosen for it, I did not wish to know who was chosen. What I do know is that whomever it was that was chosen is gone by now, you do not have to worry about it being someone in the lab who has worked with you."

Gaster's questioning and slightly fearful gaze slid up to the king's face. "At the time there were several monsters who were already falling down that were brought into the lab. It would take too much energy and be far too dangerous to take a soul fragment from a living monster so the doctor's plan was to take a piece from a monster that was close to death just before they fell to dust. Whomever was chosen was already going to die, you need not worry that a life was taken for your creation young one." The king hesitated a moment, "if you wish it I can find out who it was for you."

Gaster held the king's eyes for a moment before shaking his head, ' _no, I no need know._ '

Gaster looked down at his hands again, what did this make him? He clenched his hands into shaking loose fists, careful not to push too hard this time. Was he just a creature created from spare parts that were stolen from the dead? Or was he more than the pieces that he was made from? Was he anything more than a donated soul and borrowed bones?

Gaster slid a hand down to his femur but he could barely feel the grip through the layers of clothes that he wore. He could feel the tension in his soul build up, his grip tightened but it barely helped. He needed relief, he needed . . . he felt the king's hand squeeze his shoulder. He looked up into the king's sorrow filled eyes, "I am so sorry young one, I fear that I have done you much harm in my attempts to help you." The king's hand trembled slightly as he looked down, "perhaps you would prefer it if I found someone else to watch over you."

Gaster felt his soul skip a beat, the king couldn't leave him. He needed the king, he couldn't loose him. Gaster moved forward quickly, he crawled into the king's lap and curled tightly against him. Gaster buried his face against the king's chest and wove his fingers tightly into the king's robes as he shook his head forcefully. He felt the king's arms wrap around him as he pressed as close as he could. This was what he needed, he just needed the king to stay.

"I am so sorry young one."

' _No,_ ' Gaster didn't pull away, he signed sloppily without looking up. ' _No more sorry, you stay._ '

"Alright, I'll stay." The king's arms pulled Gaster closer.

There were no tears, just a determination to hold on tightly and never let go.


	14. A step forward

He was alone but he smiled faintly to himself anyway.

Gaster sat on the floor examining some of the items he had pulled out of the toy chest, curiously fiddling around with them in his hands. The king would be coming back sometime today and then they would be working with the doctor again. It had been terrifying but also strangely liberating to just let go and fully put his trust in the king. He didn't think that he would ever be able to completely give up his desire to find a way to escape, it had been too heavily ingrained in his mind. But it wasn't urgent anymore, it was almost as if he could set it aside. It could wait. Things were good now and he didn't have to worry or fight or struggle to keep it that way. It felt like the king had taken some of the weight from his shoulders that he had been carrying around his whole life.

He twisted the mobile parts of the figurine in his hands, trying to figure out how they were attached but still able to move. He had a theory on how it worked and he was tempted to pry it apart to find out but he didn't want to break it. Instead he set it down next to the others he had been looking at, posing it so that it could stand upright without falling over. He was reaching for another when there came a knock at the door.

Gaster tensed slightly at the sudden sound but was already relaxing even before the king came in the door. His smile grew as he saw the king's own warm smile greet him. "Hello young one, I am glad to see you enjoying yourself."

Gaster nodded, ' _yes, good time._ ' He started to place the figures back in the toy chest when he saw the king move over to the dresser.

Gaster stood as the king brought a fresh gown over to him, as Gaster took it his smile slipped down a little but it didn't disappear completely. The king's smile also grew more somber as he looked down at the skeleton, "would you like me to help you with your clothes young one?"

Gaster considered the offer but then shook his head slightly, ' _no, I good._ '

He glanced at the bed and after a moment he made his way over to it, sitting down and setting the gown aside he started pulling at the several layers of shirts that he still wore. After he had his arms out and the shirts were pulled up to his shoulders he attempted to push them all over his head at once, he succeeded in getting very stuck. After struggling with them for a few moments he stopped with a sigh, he tilted his head down a little at the king's slightly muffled laughter despite being unable to see him.

Gaster reached up to pull the shirts back down until they slipped off his skull, the warmth in the king's amused smile made it impossible for him to feel any sting from the laughter. He separated the shirts and started pulling them off one at a time, once they were all off he pulled the gown up to cover his chest. Trust or not it still made him feel too vulnerable to leave his soul completely exposed. He shifted the gown into position but only tied the top tie in the back so that he could still get his pants off easily.

Having apparently learned nothing he pulled at all of his pants at once, they slipped off fairly easily until they caught up around his ankles. After some maneuvering he was able slip them off without separating them. He felt the absence of the thick layer of clothes already but he picked them up and walked over to the wicker basket to drop them in anyway. He couldn't reach at his back very well to do up the ties so he turned his back to the king for help. The king reached down to the ties without having to be asked while Gaster straightened the gown on his front.

Gaster turned back to the king, quickly taking his hand when it was offered. The king smiled reassuringly as he led Gaster out into the halls.

The king looked down at him as they walked, "I thought that it would be best if I explain what you will be doing today before we arrive."

Gaster glanced up at the king and gave a small nod. "The doctor will be attempting to strengthen the connection your body has to your soul. You will be sitting in a bath of thinned liquid magic that is attuned to your soul in the hope that it will shift your body's magical frequency to match it. He tells me that it will require many treatments to make a permanent alteration but if this works we should see improvement quickly." The king gave Gaster's hand a squeeze, "will you be alright with doing this?"

After a moment Gaster gave a slow nod, he had never done anything like that before but he had learned to be wary of new things that the doctor did to him. He squeezed the king's hand in return, he trusted the king.

It didn't take long for them to arrive at their destination and the king led Gaster into a room he had never been to before. The first thing that caught his attention was the long and short glass tank that sat in the middle of the room. The liquid magic that sat in it was noticeably different from the kind he was given in his injections. It was diluted to the point where it was nearly clear and had a slight cyan tint to it, whereas his injections were a thick pearlescent.

Gaster tensed slightly as he also noticed the doctor. The doctor stood staring at some papers in his hands but there was a distant look in his eyes and he didn't react to their entering the room. "Drake, are you ready?"

The doctor looked up slowly and blinked a few times before he responded, his voice was unusually quiet. "Yes."

The king led Gaster over to an exam table that was off to the side, Gaster climbed up onto it as the doctor approached carrying a container of sensors. Gaster gave the doctor a slight glare as he began attaching sensors but he didn't react to it. The doctor's movements were slow and robotic while his gaze remained far off and detached, it was almost more unnerving than his usual impatience and temper.

The king gave sigh, "Drake, are you focused enough for this?"

The doctor replied in a disconnected voice, "a scientist must always be prepared to work under adverse conditions."

"Drake?" The king placed a hand on the doctor's shoulder, "if you are not currently fit for this we should postpone it."

A sliver of heat slipped into the doctor's voice as he stiffened under the king's hand, "I am focused and able to continue."

The king only hummed in response but he stepped back to allow the doctor to finish. Once all the sensors were in place the doctor moved over to the tank, he didn't say anything as he stared deeply into the slightly swirling liquid. Gaster slipped off the table and followed the king over to it.

Gaster eyed the liquid for a moment, standing next to the tank it came up to be a little higher than his knees but it was about as wide and long as his bed was.

"The gown will have to be removed." Gaster glanced quickly at the doctor.

' _No,_ ' Gaster signed quickly while moving slightly to ensure that he was in the king's field of view. ' _I no want._ '

The king glanced down at Gaster, "is there a specific reason that he shouldn't wear it Drake?"

The doctor tapped his foot twice before he stopped, "foreign material will interfere with the process."

The king let out another sigh as he placed his hand on Gaster's shoulder, "I will be here the whole time young one but you need to do this."

Gaster stiffened slightly as he looked down but he gave a small nod. He let himself be turned so that the king could undo the ties at the back of his gown. He clutched it tightly to his chest as it slipped loose, hunching over it as he attempted to control his quickening breathing. The king stepped close to him a placed a hand on his shoulder but didn't attempt to take the gown from him. He leaned back against the king, pressing his back into the fabric of king's robe he could almost pretend that he wasn't so exposed. He could almost pretend that his soul wasn't always vulnerable.

The king gently ran his thumb back and forth along Gaster's clavicle, careful not to touch the catheter in case that might upset the skeleton. "I promise I will keep you safe young one."

Gaster nodded as he took in a deep breath, he just needed a moment to steady himself. He could do this, he had endured far worse. He straightened stiffly and moved to stand on the other side of the king so that he wouldn't have his back to the doctor. He slowly handed his gown over to the king and resisted the urge to curl in on himself as he held his arms over his chest. The king held his hand out to Gaster and he quickly took it in a tight grip.

The king gently pulled him toward the tank and he reluctantly moved the hand that was still held to his chest to grip the side of the tank. He lifted a leg over the edge and slowly lowered his foot to test the liquid. He stiffened even more but didn't pull back, besides the foreign and decidedly uncomfortable sensation of liquid slipping between his bones the liquid magic itself felt strange. It felt warm but at the same time it was hot.

The temperature was warm but it was hot in the same way that a direct injection to his soul burned. He could feel the energy in the liquid flowing into his body. Slowly he slid his leg in the rest of the way, making sure that he had good footing before bringing his other leg into the tank. With the support of the king's hand he slowly eased down onto his knees in the bath of liquid magic, shuddering as it swirled into his pelvis and lapped around the bottom of his rib-cage.

He tried to relax his ridged frame some but didn't wish to sink any lower into the liquid. It wasn't so bad once he got past the sensation of a substance being where it shouldn't and the eddying liquid stilled. In fact it was almost pleasant as buzzing energy seeped into his bones.

The doctor's still strangely quiet voice drew his attention, "the soul must be submerged for full effect."

If he could have he would have let out a small groan at that. He would have thought that the doctor was doing this just for the pleasure of torturing him if it weren't for the far off blank look on his face.

Still clutching the king's hand Gaster took a deep breath as he ever so slowly lowered himself down further. His breath quickened even as he tried to keep it steady while the level of the liquid climbed up his rib-cage. He coughed as it filled his chest cavity, strangely he didn't feel like he was struggling to get air as the space it was supposed to be pulled to was filled.

The king pulled him back up slightly, holding him high enough that he could breath easier, "Drake he cannot breath."

' _No, I good._ ' The king frowned uncertainly at him. ' _I good._ '

"Are you sure young one?" Gaster gave him a stiff nod.

"The solution is oxygen rich, it will not require air." The doctor spoke stiffly as he moved away to a monitoring screen.

The king gave a slightly displeased hum as he turned back to Gaster, "we will take it slow, alright?" After a moment Gaster gave a small nod and he was eased back down.

It was a strange sensation to switch from taking oxygen from the air to taking it from the liquid. It felt heavy and he had to breath deeper but it still just felt like the air had suddenly become thick with moisture. He slipped slowly deeper into the liquid magic until his soul hovered just above it. He hesitated a moment as he tilted his head down against his clavicle so that he could just barely see it floating in his rib-cage.

He never liked to look at his soul for very long, seeing it beat and flutter so visibly in his chest always made him feel fragile. Watching it now made him feel slightly nauseous, for the first time he got a good look at the catheter that was attacked to his ribs and the tube that snaked into his soul. As his soul's beat sped up he watched it move, seeing the way the catheter moved while it was stuck into his soul made it beat even faster.

Gaster closed his eye-sockets and took a few deep breaths to try to bring his queasiness under control. He opened them again as he moved his legs out from under him. He slid his legs in front of himself as he leaned back against the wall of the tank behind him and quickly sank deeper into the bath. He breathed in sharply as his soul was submerged, his grip on the king's hand tightening fiercely.

His soul felt hot as energy rushed into it, the burn slowly easing as he sat longer in the liquid. His stiff frame began to relax as the shock from the sudden intake wore off.

"Are you alright young one?" Gaster glanced up at the king's slightly worried expression.

' _I good,_ ' Gaster gave the king a small smile, ' _feel good._ '

Strangely the slight pressure of the liquid on his soul didn't make him feel sick. Gaster relaxed more as he leaned farther back against the tank, it actually was starting to feel nice. The buzzing heat of the energy was soaking pleasantly into his bones and was even staring to feel soothing. The king knelt down beside the tank to put an arm behind Gaster's shoulders for support and Gaster leaned into the touch as he sank a little deeper into the bath. This really wasn't so bad.

"Drake," the king spoke a little louder to catch the doctor's fleeting attention, "how long will he be needing to stay in the bath for?"

"One hour for the first course," the doctor didn't look away from the monitor as he answered absently.

The king gave a nod even if the doctor wouldn't see it, turning back to Gaster he gave a warm smile when it was apparent that the skeleton was starting to enjoy the bath. Gaster gave the king a lazy smile in return as he relaxed even more, there wasn't a hint of stiffness left in his frame. He lay his head back against the king's arm as his eye-sockets became half lidded with contentment.

The king shifted beside the tank to settle in more for a longer wait. He hummed soothingly as the hand which still held Gaster's gently ran it's thumb back an forth over Gaster's knuckles.

Gaster also situated himself more comfortably, his deep breaths slowing as he just took in the pleasing warmth and enjoyed the king's presence. He never would have thought that he could be this relaxed, he already felt half asleep. He listened fondly to the king's slow humming, he had never felt so at ease and completely safe before. He gave a genuinely happy smile as he closed his eye-sockets and he nuzzled his head into the crook of the king's elbow. He could hear the king's humming grow more tender. He didn't resist the hope that welled up in his soul. He hoped that it could always be like this.


	15. New surprises

He hadn't expected to actually fall asleep.

Gaster started slightly as he was woken by a gentle hand on his skull. He shifted up a little from where he had been leaning mostly upright against the king's arm as he blinked his eye-sockets into focus. He returned the king's warm smile with one of his own as leaned back against the king again. He almost let himself sink down even deeper into the bath of liquid magic as he once again felt the pleasant buzzing heat of energy soaking into his bones.

The king chuckled softly, "the hour is over young one, it's time to get out."

Gaster gave a half-playful frown to that, which only made the king chuckle more. "This is only the first of many times young one, there will be more later."

Gaster gave a soft sigh as he let the king help him to stand and he pulled his still fumbling half asleep legs under himself. The sucking sensation of liquid pulling quickly out of his rib-cage and sliding out from between his bones had him shuddering just as much as the sudden cold of the air did. He shivered as the king helped him to step over the side of the tank.

Once he had secure footing he let go of the king's hand and brought his arms up to his chest. He held them there as much in an effort to warm himself as to cover his soul. His usual anxiety at being uncovered was somewhat dulled by his good mood and the lingering fog of sleep that still clung to the edges of his mind. The king moved over to a side counter before quickly returning with a large fluffy towel. He wrapped it around Gaster's frame and it easily enveloped Gaster's body from shoulders to knees as the king gently rubbed his rib-cage mostly dry.

Gaster took to holding the towel around himself like a cloak once the king was finished, pulling the sides together in front of him. Rather than pat the rest of himself down he let his lower half dry gradually, preferring not to expose his chest when he didn't have to. He followed the king over to the exam table, his eye-lights lingering on the doctor who still stood in front of the monitoring screen. The doctor's eyes seemed to have a little more focus to them than before as they watched the screen but he still looked like not all of his thoughts were in the present.

Gaster stopped walking when he realized the pace he was moving at. He started again, carefully noting his speed as he tried to move as casually as he had before. It was only a slight increase over his normal walking speed, it was barely perceptible and he only noticed because of how slow his pace usually was. He watched his feet as he walked in circles, slowly picking up his pace to see how fast he could move before it started to bother him.

The ache began to set in when he got about halfway up to a trot, with a start he stopped. He stood still for a moment and waited as the ache slowly slipped out of his bones again. As he stood there with his only movement being his trembling his body didn't hurt. The deep if somewhat tolerable ache that was always there was gone. He let out a soft laugh as he grinned widely to himself, he didn't hurt at all.

He looked up as he walked back over to the king again, the large grin still spread across his face. The king watched him with warm amusement, "what are you up to young one?"

Gaster slid his hands out from under the towel, ' _I good, feel good._ ' As his elation woke him completely Gaster realized that he felt more well rested and full of energy than he ever had before. It wasn't just that he had been given energy, like when he got his injections. It felt like the energy was coming from inside him, like it was natural and right.

The king smiled broadly at him, "that is good to hear."

Gaster climbed onto the exam table as the king brought his gown over to him. Gaster took it, adjusting it on his front as he let the towel slide off his back so that the king could do up the ties behind him. Gaster pulled the towel back onto his shoulders once the king was done, liking the warmth it gave him even if it made his gown a little damp.

"The doctor will need the sensors to be left in place for a short while longer, we will have to wait for the scan to finish before leaving."

Gaster gave the king a nod just before there was a knock at the door. The king turned slightly toward it before it was opened and a pair of monsters entered the room.

The first was a fluffy furred tawny colored dog monster who wore a full set of guard's plaitmail except for the helmet which he held underneath his arm. The second who followed in just behind the other was a flat furred black and white dog monster in light armor. The first gave a the king a practiced bow before he spoke, the second mimicked his movements in a somewhat unsure manner.

"Your majesty, this is Cadis," the first gestured to the second, who was staring at the floor near his feet anxiously. "He is the new sentry out of Snowdin that I told you about."

"Ah, thank you captain Doge," the king gave the captain a nod as he moved toward the pair and the second monster was urged forward. "Has the captain told you what I want of you Cadis?"

"Yes your majesty sir, but I- I am no good as an escort sir." The dog guard's voice was almost a whine as he spoke and he nervously signed along with his words. "I've just joined and I don't have much experience and I- I cannot see things that are still very well."

The king smiled reassuringly as he ushered the other farther into the room, "I understand your nervousness Cadis but from what I have been told I believe that you will do well in this position." The king motioned to Gaster with a nod of his head.

Cadis turned timidly toward Gaster, straightening abruptly and tilting his head. After a moment he turned back toward the king, looking slightly to the left of him. The king shuffled slightly to center the dog's gaze. "I can see him," his voice held a bewildered tone and he continued to sign as he spoke. "He's just sitting there but I can still see him."

The king's smile turned slightly amused, "I thought that you might like to take the post of his personal guard. It is not so much that he needs protection as much as he needs to be looked after. This child needs familiar faces and people who will be kind to him."

The dog's ears perked, "he is a pup?"

The king nodded solemnly, "one who has little experience with others. I know that this is an unusual request but I had hoped you might also help me to teach him signs." The king turned to give Gaster a fond smile, "he is young but he is also very clever, he is learning signs at a pace that soon I will not be able to keep up with. And besides that," the king turned back toward Cadis, his voice growing more solemn. "He needs to have someone around that he can trust while I'm not here."

Cadis glanced back at the child that sat watching them carefully from the exam table. His nervousness seemed to melt some, replaced with resolve. "A pup should always have someone to look out for them."

As the two drew closer to Gaster he watched the dog's hands intently, every time he spoke he signed along with what he was saying. Gaster drew the towel a little tighter around himself once they were near though. He gave the king a questioning and slightly concerned look, ' _you no leave, you stay?_ '

The king moved to put a reassuring hand on Gaster's shoulder as he gave him a warm smile, "I won't leave you young one but I cannot be here all of the time. Unfortunately there will be days that I won't be able to visit you for as long as I have been, because I am the king there are many monsters who depend on me. Most of the time things will run smoothly without need of my attention but still I want you to have someone you can speak to when I am gone." After a few long moments Gaster gave a slight nod.

The king stepped to the side and gestured for Cadis to come closer. Gaster's eye-lights bounced from the dog guard to the king and back again as the other came to stand in front of him. Gaster tilted his head down slightly as he watched the other but he wasn't quite sure how to react. This was what he wanted wasn't it? For others to see him as a real person? He couldn't help feeling wary though, he'd had mixed results with opening himself up to others in the past.

After wringing his hands for a few moments Cadis spoke in a kind tone, "hello pup." He gave a sheepish smile, "you have been learning to sign?"

Gaster gave a slow nod at that, his eye-lights watching the other's hands as he spoke. ' _You speak, why you sign?_ '

"My whole family signs, many of us don't see things that are still very well so we sign when we speak to help us see each other."

Gaster tilted his head back up slightly, ' _I no speak, need signs. Need know more._ '

"I can help you with that, if you would like pup."

Gaster gave a nod just as he spotted the doctor approaching, walking slowly to stop near the king. "The scan has finished," the doctor still seemed to be barely there, "that is all for today."

The king gave the doctor a slight nod but he was already walking back to the monitor, "thank you Drake." The king turned to Gaster and began removing the sensors from his bones.

The sensors were left in a pile on the exam table as Gaster slipped off of it but he kept the towel around his shoulders. He took the king's hand as they walked toward the door with the two guards following behind, Gaster glanced back at the two but turned forward again as they entered the hall. One of the king's guard who had been waiting outside of the room walked up to the king.

They gave a quick bow before speaking, "your majesty, private news."

The king bent down slightly to lend the guard an ear, Gaster wasn't able to catch any of what was whispered. The king quickly stood up straight again, mild surprise crossing his face. "Now?"

The guard gave a nod, "those were the exact words your majesty."

The king let out a sigh, "I suppose this cannot wait then."

The king gave Gaster's hand a squeeze as he glanced down apologetically, "I am sorry young one but I must be leaving sooner than I had originally intended. I am afraid that there are responsibilities that I have been putting off that require my attention."

Gaster gave a small frown at that, there was no playfulness in it this time but he returned the gesture just the same.

"I will leave the captain and Cadis with you for the rest of today, I will see you again tomorrow young one."

The king waited for a response before moving to leave, after a moment Gaster gave a small smile. The king would be back tomorrow and besides, despite the fact that he enjoyed the king's company he was used to being by himself. The king returned his smile, then left with his guards.

Gaster watched the king disappear around a corner before turning the other direction to head back toward his room. Once there and after ensuring that both guards would wait outside, he pulled a new set of clothes out of the dresser. He restrained himself to only picking out one thick pair of pants with one shirt and a loose sweater with sleeves that were easily longer than his arms. Once he was changed he headed back out into the halls again.

As refreshed as he was he could tell that his energy was still dispersing off of his bones. He wanted to walk around and continue to add to his mental map of the lab while he still felt as good as he did. He half listened to the guards talk behind him as they went but ignored it after a while, mostly it was just the captain telling Cadis information about him. He tried a few more doors as he traveled this time, he took note of ones that would open but didn't take the time to enter any rooms. Most were dark and he decided that he could give them a more thorough look another time.

He paid a little more attention to passing monsters than he had last time, he was used to many of the looks that he got or being ignored completely. He hated it but he was accustomed to being seen as property or an object or being looked at as something less intelligent, like an animal. There were a few looks that he wasn't used to though, some frowned irritably at him and others stared at him angrily. Gaster stayed close to the guards that followed him when these passed by, the only one who had ever really been angry with him before was the doctor.

Still others seemed to just watch him curiously or with confusion as they whispered to each other, as if wondering why exactly he was allowed to walk around. Gaster tried to ignore most of them after a while, if they didn't want to see him then he didn't need to see them. It wasn't too long before he could feel himself slowing down to his normal pace but he still felt better than usual as he continued to walk.

After trying another door he peered into the dark room in front of him, trying to make out what the object was on the far side that had a blinking light. He shuffled to the side as the captain came up beside him, "here kid, let me help you with that." The captain reached around the door frame and flipped a switch inside the room causing lights to blink on inside.

The object that Gaster had been trying to see was forgotten as stared curiously at the switch. He had only once before tried to touch one of the switches on the walls as he had seen the doctor do. The doctor had been quick to teach him not to touch anything that he wasn't told to. After hesitantly glancing at the captain Gaster reached over to flick the switch experimentally, turning the lights off and on several times. He pressed his skull to the wall to listen to the hum of power that traveled through it. Unlike when it was time for lights-out he could still hear full power run through the walls when he turned the lights off in the room.

Gaster flicked the switch a few more times before turning back to the captain, both he and Cadis were smiling warmly at him. He ducked his head slightly but his gaze remained curious as he pointed at the switch, ' _how?_ '

The captain glanced at the switch before answering, "sorry kid, I don't know much about electricity. Haven't really been around it much myself."

' _Why?_ '

"Well the only places that really have it is the lab here and the hospitals. Some of the public places get a few hours of it a day but there isn't really that much to go around."

Gaster tilted his head to the side at that, how did anyone do anything without electricity? Wasn't that what made everything work? He wanted to ask more questions but he still didn't really have the vocabulary yet to ask what he wanted. He decided he would ask later, filing away what he had learned as he moved on.

He continued to walk down the halls, slowing down more as his energy was used but not really wanting to return to his room yet. His bones started to itch, he didn't notice it at first with how slowly the sensation came on but once he did he wondered at the strange feeling. He found himself picking the directions he turned at random, the prickling feeling deep in his bones increasing when he went one way but decreasing when he went another.

After a few backtracks and direction changes he walked slowly up and down one hall until he determined that the feeling was strongest when standing outside one door. He tried the handle but it didn't open, he pressed his skull against the door to see if he could hear anyone inside. He could almost make out a faint rustling sound that seemed to resonate with the feeling in his bones.

Gaster stepped back from the door as he looked over at the captain who was glancing up and down the hall warily. Both of the dogs seemed to be on edge, the captain was looking around alertly while Cadis wrung his hands nervously and let out a soft whine. Gaster pointed at the door, ' _you hear?_ '

The captain eyed the door for a moment before pressing his ear up against it to listen, after a moment he pulled back. "No, I don't hear anything kid." He glanced tensely along the hall again, "but I got this tingling itch running down my back that I don't like."

Gaster glanced down the hall too, noting that other monsters seemed to avoid this hall as they passed the intersections at it's ends. The captain shuffled as he looked around, "something ain't right about this place, we should move on."

Gaster glanced back at the door, very much wanting to know what was on the other side of it despite or perhaps because of the strange feeling. He pressed his skull against it again, trying to concentrate on what he heard. It was almost less like a sound and more like a vibration that he could feel traveling through his frame.

"Hey!"

Gaster jumped at the shout, looking around quickly to see someone waving at them from the intersection at the end of the hall. He glanced at the captain who gestured eagerly for them to move on. Reluctantly but also somewhat gratefully he pushed himself away from the door and walked toward the one who had called out to them.

"Most people don't use that hall," the short gingerbread monster who wore a lab coat spoke in a monotonous voice once they drew close.

Gaster glanced back before looking at the other again warily. The gingerbread monster stared back at him with eyes that were open far too wide to be comfortable before pulling a syringe from his pocket. "It's time for you supplement."

Gaster grimaced slightly but he pulled down the collars of his shirt and sweater so that the other would have access to the valve port of his catheter. He sucked in a breath and went ridged as the energy slowly trickled into his soul, he teetered slightly but he was able to remain standing with the help of a hand on his back. Once it was done he only needed a few deep breaths to steady himself again and he hunched slightly to pull away from the touch until the hand retreated.

Gaster glanced down the hall behind him again, the captain still kept his head half turned toward the hall and Cadis shuffled uneasily as he mostly kept his eyes on Gaster. Gaster turned back to the assistant in front of him, ' _what?_ ' He pointed behind himself, ' _why?_ '

The assistant stared at him with an intense curiosity for long enough that Gaster was beginning to wonder if the other had understood him, "level two security clearance is required for that information."

Gaster glanced back at the captain in confusion, "the kid has adviser level clearance."

This only confused him more but a surprised sound from the assistant drew his attention. "Really?" The assistant cocked his head to the side as he continued to stare at Gaster. Gaster took a step back as he reached up to grip at his collar. "Well congratulations on the promotion." The other sounded completely serious as he held out his hand to Gaster. Gaster stared at it having no idea what to do.

After it became apparent that the assistant wasn't going to do anything else until he got what he wanted the captain stepped forward. "Like this kid," the captain took the assistant's hand in a firm handshake before releasing it. The assistant showed no sign of noticing other than a glance at the captain as he continued to hold his hand out.

Hesitantly Gaster reached forward to take the assistant's hand in his, once he did it was given several hardy shakes as he tried to nervously wiggle out of the other's grip. Once his hand was released Gaster quickly pulled it back to his chest as he watched the assistant with widened eye-sockets. "Lab assistant Sidd, at your service." He gave Gaster a slight bow, "since you have proper clearance I can tell you what is in that room." Gaster couldn't help but lean forward slightly when the other paused for a painfully long amount of time. "That is where we keep the human soul."


	16. Branching Out

He idly thumbed the small screw in his pocket as he sat on his bed.

The king wouldn't be coming to visit him today. Gaster found that the king's absence bothered him more than he had thought it would. There had been days that the king hadn't been able to visit him for long, but this was the first time that he wouldn't be able to make it at all. The king hadn't promised that he would be there every day, but it was something that Gaster had come to expect in the weeks that he had known him. He tried not to think too much about it as he shifted slightly to ease the ache in his frame.

It had been a few days since his last alignment bath and if he went more than a day or so without one the old ache would return to his bones. The king insisted on being with Gaster for any of his treatments or tests, which Gaster was grateful for. Unfortunately though this meant that when the king was busy that his treatments were slowed.

Gaster blinked when he noticed Cadis' fingers tentatively brush his knee in an attempt to gain his attention. He looked up into the dog's slightly concerned eyes as he realized he had been ignoring what the other had been saying without really meaning to. He only tensed slightly at the light touch, "are you ok pup?"

Gaster gave a slow nod as he plucked at the hem of the sweater that he wore with his free hand, ' _yes sorry, I was thinking._ '

Cadis gave him a small smile, "well I was just saying that it's about lunchtime and I was asking if you might want to join me today." Gaster gazed down at his lap and slowly rolled the screw between his fingers as he considered the offer. Cadis reached up to scratch lightly at the back of his head, "I mean, I know that you don't eat but I thought that maybe you might want to come along anyway."

Gaster frowned slightly as his eye-lights darted up and then down again. He pressed the screw tightly against his thumb for a few seconds before releasing it and glancing up again. Cadis gave a hopeful smile as he sheepishly tilted his head to the side. Gaster let out a small sigh as he pulled his hand from his pocket. ' _Yes, I come._ '

He slid off of the bed to follow Cadis toward the door, grabbing a notebook that had been left on the small table near his bed as he went. The dog guard paused for a moment to glance back at Gaster, eyeing what he wore with a somewhat troubled gaze. "Are you sure you don't want to try wearing one of those shirts pup? I'm sure there won't be a problem again." He didn't sound sure.

Gaster grimaced slightly, ' _yes I sure._ ' He didn't really understand why the stripes seemed to matter so much. He had taken to wearing the longest and loosest sweaters and pants that he had been given once there was a greater selection to choose from. He preferred the clothes that were thicker and gave him the most coverage, they just made him feel more protected.

He had only once tried to wear one of the striped shirts that the king had brought for him. He had only gotten looks while he had traveled with the king that day but once he had only a pair of guards with him some of the assistants had become more bold in making their disapproval known. He had heard some very interesting words that Cadis had told him never to ask how to sign.

Gaster followed Cadis out into the hall, walking next to him rather than leading as he usually did while exploring the lab. After they had traveled a short distance Gaster waved to gain Cadis' attention. ' _We pass soul hall?_ '

Cadis shook his head, "no pup, that's in the other direction."

Gaster nodded as he let out a small breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He didn't like the way the prickling feeling of the soul's energy had settled in his bones and had taken far too long to fade away.

It didn't take them long to reach the lab's small cafeteria, when they entered Cadis led Gaster over to a round table near the wall. Gaster chose a seat where the wall would be behind him as he glanced around the room. There were only a couple of other monsters there and they seemed to have ignored him and Cadis.

"I'll be right over there pup," Cadis pointed to section of counters with bright lamps hanging low over containers which presumably held food. "I'll grab some food and then be right back, you wait here ok?"

Gaster nodded, ' _I wait._ ' He brushed his fingers along the side of his notebook as he eyed the other monsters in the room again.

Cadis gave them a quick glance as well, "I'll be quick pup."

Gaster was left undisturbed as Cadis gathered his meal and brought his tray of food back with him to sit across from Gaster. Gaster eyed the moist and steaming food with a mixture of curiosity and mild aversion. Cadis watched him with an amused smile, "would you like to try something pup?"

Gaster shook his head adamantly, ' _no, I good._ ' He absentmindedly brought his hand up to trace the bottom of his jaw while he looked at the food, slipping his thumb just behind the edge of the bone.

Cadis chuckled softly, "the food is made of magic, it dissolves into energy when you eat it." He leaned slightly toward Gaster, "it won't fall through pup, your magic knows what to do. "

The ridge of Gaster's brow rose in skepticism, ' _maybe later._ ' He didn't plan on it, despite Cadis' assurances he was still unsure of how well it would work out for him.

While the other was busy eating Gaster contented himself with flipping through the pages of his notebook until he was able to find the one he was looking for. He stared at the somewhat crude sketches he had made while trying to remember where exactly he had left off. Gaster eyed his sloppy diagrams with frustration, they would have been much more precise if it wasn't so difficult to hold his hands steady for very long. It also would have been easier if he didn't insist on holding the notebook up so that no one could see what he was drawing but the habit of keeping certain things to himself was not one that he was going to break any time soon.

He had started to sketch out rough maps of the lab in order to better keep track of the increasingly large area that he had traveled to. He crossed out doors that were consistently locked while circling those that were often open. He used tallys and other symbols to note other things of importance since he was still early in his writing lessons. His maps were thorough in the area around his room, growing increasingly less detailed with distance. Though there was a large blank section in his notes, he avoided that area around the soul's hall whenever he could.

After a short while Gaster made the mistake of looking up from his notes at Cadis who was entirely too absorbed in eating his meal. For a short time Gaster watched in mild horror as the other ate, Cadis chewed enthusiastically with his mouth wide open. Gaster found that the food did indeed dissolve into energy as it was eaten, he couldn't make himself look away as the other ravenously devoured his meal. This could not be unseen, if Gaster wasn't sure that he didn't want to try food before he certainly was now.

Gaster was so busy trying to hold back his queasiness that he jumped when a tray dropped on the table between him and Cadis. The dog coughed around his food as he slapped his chest, once he was no longer choking on his surprise he eyed the monster that had come to be standing next to him.

The gingerbread assistant stared at Cadis for far longer than necessary before taking the seat next to him. "Sentry Cadis," he gave Cadis a slight bow from where he sat. "Project Gaster," he turned in his seat to give Gaster a small bow as well. Cadis made a displeased sound in his throat that wasn't quite a growl but the other didn't seem to notice as he continued to stare at Gaster with his unusually wide eyes. "Why are you here?" It was strange how his voice was nearly flat while it somehow still had a curious quality to it.

"We were eating." Cadis spoke in a tone that made it clear that he was not pleased by the other's entrance.

Sidd ignored this as he turned back to Cadis, "you were eating, project Gaster was not."

Cadis' ear twitched as he gave Sidd an annoyed stare, the assistant only stared right back. Gaster let out a sigh as he closed his notebook, he knew how this contest would end. He didn't even think that Sidd could blink. The gingerbread monster had taken to showing up far too often to be coincidence while Gaster was walking the halls of the lab. Most of the time it was just to give Gaster his injection but sometimes he would show up and just . . . linger.

Eventually the inevitable occurred and Cadis huffed as he was forced to blink his twitching eyes, he rubbed at them and grumbled under his breath as he looked away. He squinted slightly as his gaze returned and he eyed the other again, "you cheated." His voice was somehow both accusatory and slightly offended, Sidd only cocked his head to the side and continued to stare. Cadis huffed again as glanced at the other's tray, "and what even is that?"

"Chisps."

Cadis glanced over his shoulder at the food counter, "they don't even have those in here, where did you get them from?"

"Vending machine."

Cadis turned back to raise his eyebrow at Sidd, "why would you get a tray for food from outside?"

"I brought it inside."

"But it's just one bag of chisps, you didn't need a tray."

"Trays are for food."

"But the door is over there, you had to walk past the table to get a tray and bring it back here."

Sidd just continued to stare and Cadis sputtered slightly at the other's lack of response. After a few moments Sidd reached for the bag of chisps and without looking at it popped the bag open to spill it's contents onto the tray. He turned to look at Gaster as he picked up a single chisp and bit a tiny sliver off of it's edge. After slowly chewing it in a much more tolerable manner than Cadis had with his food Sidd picked up another much smaller chisp with his free hand and held it out to Gaster.

Gaster eyed the offered food, he would admit that the dry and solid looking nature of it made it look much less unappetizing than Cadis' food had. He glanced up at Sidd and then back at the chisp again, wondering if the other would go so far as to follow him out of the cafeteria with it if he didn't take it. While Gaster still stared indecisively at the hand in front of him Cadis reached over toward the tray of chisps himself.

Sidd slapped Cadis' hand away without looking at him, paying no heed to having crushed the first chisp he had still been holding in that hand. "Not for you." Cadis made an indignant noise as he pulled his hand back, still looking hungrily at the chisps.

Gaster reached forward hesitantly to take the offered chisp, he frowned at it slightly as he brought it up near his face. He took a small bite out of it as he had seen the other do, he held the bite between his teeth as he tried to figure out how to chew it in a dignified manner without any lips. In the end he decided to hold his hand in front his mouth as he chewed, wondering at the strong salty taste as the food dissolved.

As Gaster continued to nibble at the food with less doubt, Cadis slowly slid his hand across the table toward Sidd's tray. He slipped his fingers up over the lip and inched them toward a chisp. Just as his fingers began dragging one back by it's edge Sidd smacked his hand away, thoroughly smushing Cadis' prize. Cadis pursed his lips unhappily as he snorted, sitting back to abandon his pursuit and just watch Gaster make progress with his own chisp. Cadis gave a slight smile as Gaster reached for another without prompting.

After Gaster had eaten a couple more he glanced back up at Sidd again, he still found the assistant's intense stare slightly unnerving but not nearly as much as when he had first met him. ' _Thank you._ '

"You're welcome."

Gaster tapped his fingers along his clavicle as he looked down at the pile of uneaten chisps that remained on the tray, Sidd hadn't eaten any more since his first bite. Gaster slid his fingers gently along the bone until they brushed against the valve port of his catheter, he glanced up at Sidd again. ' _I eat food, I still need injection?_ '

"The food will give your body energy but not your soul."

Gaster nodded at that as he sighed, he hadn't really been expecting a different answer. ' _I good now, no more._ '

Sidd nodded as he pushed the tray toward Cadis, who eagerly took to devouring the remaining food. Sidd pulled a syringe from his pocket, "you will still need supplements until the connection is stronger."

Gaster braced his elbows against the table as he pulled down his sweater's collar. Cadis quickly abandoned the chisps in favor of taking Gaster's hand as he was given his injection. Gaster gripped Cadis' hand tightly and his legs curled up against the bottom of his seat as his frame stiffened. He slowly released his hold on Cadis' hand as he steadied.

Cadis drew back slowly, ensuring that Gaster was settled before looking down at what little food remained on the trays. "I'm going to take care of these quick." Cadis picked up the trays as he stood, stopping to glance at Sidd and then Gaster. "You," he gestured at the assistant who turned to stare at him. "You just . . . eyes on me," Cadis' eyes darted to Gaster then back to Sidd again, "don't even look at him 'till I get back." Cadis tried to imitate Sidd's intense wide eyed stare for commanding effect, Sidd just stared back at him.

Cadis moved to take the trays toward the back of the room. He looked back several times to show that he was watching but his gaze kept slipping off of Sidd's still form towards Gaster's moving one. Gaster glanced at Sidd, he was still staring after Cadis. Whether this was because he was actually listening to Cadis or simply because something else hadn't caught his attention yet Gaster wasn't sure.

Gaster looked over toward Cadis, seeing that he had almost reached the other side of the room. He wondered what it would take to shift Sidd's attention. Gaster watched Sidd carefully as he tilted his head down and his narrowed eye-sockets lit with magic.

Once Cadis drew close again Gaster quickly let go of his magic as he sat up straighter, his eye-lights flickering back to normal before he turned toward the other. "Ready to go pup?"

Gaster glanced at Sidd who still had his eyes on Cadis, ' _yes._ '

Gaster grabbed his notebook and he slid from his seat as Cadis turned toward Sidd, "thanks for sharing with the pup." Sidd gave him a nod but didn't make a movement to follow the pair as they left the room.

Once they were out in the hall Gaster fell into a comfortable walk beside Cadis, when the other smiled down at him he gave a small smile in return. It had gotten easier to smile. As they walked Gaster slipped the syringe he had up his sleeve into his pocket. This made three.

Some habits were hard to break. Some he wasn't willing give up.


	17. Wandering Thoughts

He watched his feet as he concentrated on his steps.

Gaster carefully stepped along the seam of the tiles in the floor, ensuring that his feet landed in the correct places along side it. Left, left, right, left, right, right, right. It was one of the simpler games Cadis had shown him, a test of memory. They would start with three moves, each adding on a new one as they took turns repeating it. They were far better matched in this game than some of the others that he and Cadis had tried.

Eye spy had failed miserably, because of his limited sight Cadis favored choosing larger objects which they had quickly run out of in Gaster's room. Besides that he also had trouble spying the smaller objects that Gaster chose and they would be stuck on his turns for far too long. Jacks and marbles hadn't worked well either, because of his shaking Gaster often fumbled the small objects as he tried to catch them. He preferred games of concentration or memory, this one also had the bonus of being one that they could play as they traveled.

' _Tell me about snow again._ ' Gaster signed as he finished his turn.

"Oh no you don't pup," Cadis laughed as he started his turn, looking down at his feet. "I won't fall for that distraction twice."

Gaster smiled mischievously as he watched Cadis' steps, ensuring he would catch if the other slipped up on the order.

"Would you like to join me again for lunch today?"

Gaster waited until the other had finished stepping and was looking up again before he answered. ' _Yes, I come._ '

He probably wouldn't eat anything but he didn't mind going along with Cadis anyway. Gaster took his turn, adding on the new step Cadis had taken and then another of his own. Cadis took a few steps into his turn, stopping and fumbling a few as the captain approached them.

The captain gave Gaster a nod before turning to Cadis, "you called me on the radio?"

Gaster poked Cadis on the arm, ' _you lose._ '

Cadis huffed, "what? That doesn't count."

"Yes it does," the captain smirked as Cadis frowned in disapproval and Gaster smiled triumphantly. "Now what did you need?"

"I just wanted to tell you that Carl took off early again."

The captain let out a snort, "again?"

"Again."

The captain's voice held a tired irritation, "what does that poff-head think he's doing? Just because it's light duty doesn't mean he can leave whenever he wants."

The captain rubbed tiredly at the ridge of his nose while Cadis shrugged, "is he on again tomorrow? Remember I have off tomorrow."

"Yes he was scheduled for tomorrow and yes I remember." The captain let out a sigh as he looked off to the side, "I'll have to have another talk with him." The captain turned back to Cadis, "is there anything else you need? I'll try to send someone else soon."

"Actually while you're here- um, let's walk while talk." Cadis glanced at Gaster, "Why don't you keep going while we talk pup?"

The captain gestured for Gaster to lead, Gaster frowned slightly but turned and started walking the line anyway. He listened carefully to the two who followed behind him as went through the steps.

Cadis spoke quietly, not a whisper but his voice was lower than usual, "were you able to look up on that assistant yet?"

"Sidd? Yeah, but there wasn't much." The captain paused before continuing, "he specializes in mechanics but he's worked bioengineering before. He was on the kid's project a while back but from what I can tell he was taken off of it before they started working with the kid's soul."

Gaster stared at his feet as he walked, he went through the motions of the game but his attention was focused on the other's words.

Cadis made a displeased sound at that, "do you know why?"

"The files didn't say, only that Drake was the one who booted him." Cadis gave a sigh and the captain's voice perked a little, "he hasn't done anything has he?"

Cadis huffed, "not really, but I don't like how he looks at the pup."

"Well he's an odd one all around, but he's definitely not as bad as some."

Cadis gave a relenting grunt, "I know, he just hangs around the pup too much for me not to check in, you know?"

"Yeah, well keep an eye on him if he keeps hanging around but otherwise just take it in stride. If the kid isn't bothered by him we can't go chasing off one of the ones who are willing to talk to him."

Cadis sighed again, "yeah, I just- yeah. I guess I'll see you later then."

"See ya." The captain pulled ahead to walk next to Gaster, "see you later kid." He smiled and gave Gaster a wave.

Gaster smiled and waved back, ' _goodbye._ ' The captain turned to walk off down a side hall.

Cadis came forward to walk alongside Gaster again, he gave Gaster a smile but there was still some tension in his features. "So pup, how far did you get?"

Gaster was silent for a while, he continued to watch his feet as he thought about what the pair of guards had discussed. He tilted his head to the side as he looked at Cadis, ' _you no like Sidd?_ '

"You were listening huh?" Gaster raised the ridge of one brow as he looked at Cadis, "I suppose I should have expected that." Cadis rubbed at the back of his head, "I'm sorry pup it's not that I don't like him, I don't want you thinking that. It's just he rubs me the wrong way sometimes with how he talks to you."

' _What you mean?_ ' Sidd was definitely strange but he had always spoken to Gaster, not at him like the doctor and many of the other assistants still did.

Cadis frowned a little, "I don't like it when he calls you that."

' _What?_ '

Cadis gave him a hesitant look before answering, "when he calls you project Gaster."

Gaster watched Cadis' hands as he spelled out the label, ' _king call me Gaster, you no mad at king._ '

"Not Gaster, I mean when he calls you a project."

The ridge of Gaster's brow knit in confusion, that was what Gaster meant. It was the label for his project, for him. He hadn't thought anything of Sidd adding one to the other because the two words were one and the same. Gaster preferred to be called other things like when Cadis called him pup, there was a fondness to the way the dog said it. But he didn't mind when Sidd called him project Gaster, Sidd didn't say the words with the same cold detachment that the doctor did.

' _They same._ '

"What do you mean pup?"

It wasn't obvious? Gaster struggled as he tried to think of how to explain it. ' _They same like . . ._ ' Gaster stopped to point at the floor, ' _floor and ground._ ' He pointed at Cadis, ' _guard and sentry._ ' He pointed at himself, ' _project and Gaster, project Gaster. They both same._ '

Cadis frowned as he watched Gaster explain, "but I thought . . . isn't Gaster your name?"

Gaster frowned slightly as he thought. Gaster was what others called him but did that make it his name? He hadn't been allowed to have a name before but to take the label that the doctor had given him as his name didn't quite sit right with him. It was all he'd had for a long time and he wasn't going to give up something that he had clung to when he'd had so little, it was a piece of him. But it still felt more like a label than a name.

Gaster made a noncommittal gesture as he stared at the floor, he would need to think on this.

Cadis placed his hand lightly on Gaster's shoulder, "it's alright pup, you don't have decide right now." Gaster looked up as Cadis gave him a reassuring smile, "but later on if you decide that it's not your name then you'll need to pick one for yourself. It doesn't matter what you chose but don't you ever let anyone make you think you don't deserve a name of you own."

Gaster gave Cadis a small smile as he nodded, ' _thank you Cadis._ '

Cadis' smile grew warm, "your welcome pup." Cadis gave him a gentle pat on the shoulder, "let's start a new game, your turn to go first."

Gaster smiled a little wider as he moved forward to take the first few steps of a new game. He and Cadis kept walking down the halls, taking turns until one or the other lost track of what step was next and they started over again. They kept going until Gaster started to get tired and they decided to head back to his room so that he could rest.

As they turned a corner Gaster spotted the doctor heading in their direction down the same hall. Nope. Gaster quickly turned around to backtrack down a side hall, Gaster led Cadis through a few turns until he was certain that the doctor would have a hard time finding them if he had decided to try to follow. He glanced over his shoulder to be sure as they started heading in the right direction again.

Gaster stiffened slightly as he felt the light prickling of the soul's energy slip into his bones, in his distraction he hadn't noticed how close they had wandered to the soul's hall. Gaster glanced in the direction that it was, he couldn't tell the direction from the feeling but he knew vaguely where the room was from here. It was still a few hall's over but he could faintly feel the energy even from this distance. ' _You feel?_ '

"Feel what?"

' _Soul._ '

Cadis glanced where Gaster was looking, "no I can't pup, can you?"

Gaster nodded absently as he continued to stare at the wall, Cadis' expression grew concerned as his eyes came back to Gaster. "We should go."

They kept walking and once they were a few halls down the prickling itch began to slowly fade but the last tingle of it lingered in his bones for a while longer. Gaster wasn't sure why he was so much more sensitive to the soul's energy than others were. Was it because he was used to feeling different energy in his injections? Or was it because the connection between his body and soul was still weak? Or was it something else.

Gaster shuddered slightly as he refrained from reaching up to feel at the scars on his face. He didn't want to think about why else the soul might affect him more. He couldn't keep his thoughts from dwelling on the soul though. He wondered what it was like to be a soul without a body. Was the soul awake? Or could it sleep? He hoped that it could. He knew what it was like to feel trapped, to struggle against a cage that he couldn't escape. He knew what it was like to desire freedom. He hoped that the soul could rest.

Gaster reached up to grip at his collar, he had come far too close to meeting the same fate as the soul behind that door. He had come far too close to becoming nothing more than a soul in a container. His grip tightened, at the same time that the soul unsettled him he felt sorry for it. But at least it hadn't been created to die. At least it had someone to love it before it died. He wouldn't have had that before he died.

' _Tell me about snow again._ ' Gaster signed as they walked.

"Alright pup," Cadis gave him a small smile and Gaster couldn't help but return it. "Lets see, well like I said before it's really cold . . . "

Gaster listened as Cadis spoke, he liked hearing about snow and trees and houses and rocks and all of the things that Cadis loved about living in Snowdin. Even if he had never seen these things he liked to listen to Cadis describe them. He would often ask about the same things so that he could hear the little differences in the way that Cadis described them each time. The little details made them feel like real things, things that could be touched or smelled or even tasted.

Thoughts of the soul were left behind as Gaster focused on Cadis' words. He laughed as Cadis described getting his tongue stuck to a cold metal pole when he was younger. He smiled as Cadis talked about sledding and building snow sculptures and having snowball fights. It all sounded wonderful, Gaster hoped that one day he would get to see these things himself.


	18. Altered routines

He sat in the king's lap as he was read to.

Gaster watched with distracted attention as the king slowly ran his finger under the words on the page and he read them out loud. Every once in a while the king would ask him to try to read and sign out the next sentence. Reading was a little easier than writing but he was still having great trouble with both. Despite the king's assurances that he was doing fine the words on the page just didn't click with him in the same way that signs did.

Normally Gaster sat beside the king during his lessons but today he sat curled up in the king's lap pressed against his chest. Some days were just . . . harder than others, some days he just needed the king to hold him. The tension in his soul had eased some but it was still there, he resisted the urge to grip his femur though. He could see pain in the king's eyes when he did. Instead his hands clung lightly to the fabric of the king's robes as he watched the page.

They were only interrupted occasionally by the doctor when he came over to adjust something on Gaster's collar as the scan went on. Gaster would stiffen whenever he did, the shifting of the light suppression field certainly wasn't helping his attempts to concentrate. Neither was the doctor's constant muttering, he seemed to do that a lot more often than he used to. Gaster wished he was wearing his day clothes, the fabric of his medical gown felt thin by comparison.

The doctor grumbled irritably as he made his adjustments, "I would not have to waste so much of my time with all of these extra scans if I did not have such erratic access to the subject." It was an old complaint but there was still heat in it.

The king paused between lines to sigh heavily, "for one who complains so much about wasting his time you perform many tasks that could be left to others Drake. I'm sure that an assistant could easily do these scans for you."

The doctor huffed at that, "I would not risk fragile and limited resources in unskilled hands." The doctor was already walking away before the king could respond.

The king gave another sigh as he returned to the book, Gaster tried to listen to the words that the king read but his attention kept slipping. One hand slid up to grip his collar as he pressed his eye-sockets closed and the hand that still clung to the king's robes tightened around the fabric. The king paused in his reading for a moment before continuing, one of his large hands leaving the book to gently run soothingly up and down Gaster's back.

Gaster pressed into the touch as he took a deep breath, burying his face against the king's robes. He tried to push down the tension that he still felt in his soul, listening to the strong steady beat of the king's own soul. Deep breath, listen to the beat. Deep breath, listen to the soft hum of the king's voice. Deep breath, he wasn't alone anymore. Deep breath, he could trust this to stay.

He heard the doctor walking back toward them. He shuddered slightly in the king's hold, his bones rattling softly with his increased shaking. The king's arm wrapped a little tighter around him, the doctor grumbled before walking off again.

He calmed after a while, slowly he brought his head up to look back at the book again but he didn't really try to read the words. He just listened to the king's voice as the tension eased out of his frame. He was glad that the king was here today.

The doctor came back again shortly after and Gaster stiffened slightly as he relinquished his hold on his collar. The doctor fiddled with it for a moment before the suppression field was lifted. With the weight of it gone Gaster's bones felt lighter and he was able to breath easier again. The king continued to gently rub Gaster's back, "do you still feel up to a bath today young one?"

Gaster gave a small nod, the warmth and feeling of rightness of the liquid magic's energy usually made him feel better.

"Alright then." The king stood and gently set Gaster on his feet, Gaster took the the king's hand and let him lead them to the door.

Gaster walked along at a good pace, not as fast as he knew the king would walk without him but it was a large improvement over the slow speed that he had been able to manage before. The doctor walked ahead of them, his eyes scanning the papers in his hands as he moved. His steps were slowed enough by the distraction that they were able to keep up.

As they walked Gaster tried to ignore the other monsters that they passed in the hall, not as many of them gave him looks anymore but he still preferred not to see it when they did. He wasn't sure what he hated more, the ones that looked right through him or the ones that saw him as something that he wasn't. The attempts that he had made to speak with some of them after he had learned to sign had not gone well.

Usually it was easy to ignore them as he walked the halls but today he kept his head tilted down. On the hard days the little things got to him easier. His eye-lights focused on the king's hand that held his, slowly they wandered as they trailed from his own small hand up his arm. They stopped as they lingered on the fractures that crawled across the bones. He gripped the king's hand a little tighter, on the hard days the heavy things could be so much heavier.

Once they entered the room with the tank Gaster walked over to it with the king and waited as the king pulled loose the ties at the back of his gown. He stepped in and eased down with familiar movements, taking the king's offered hand as he settled. He leaned back and was able to relax some as the buzzing energy seeped soothingly into his bones.

The doctor stood nearby, he shuffled through his papers with an aggravated expression on his face as he mumbled irritably. " . . . doesn't make any sense, the numbers shouldn't be this far off." He glanced at Gaster with a sour and slightly accusatory expression that was more looking through him than at him. "The subject is not progressing as anticipated."

The king glanced at the doctor, "what do you mean Drake, is something wrong?"

"There should be greater improvement at this point."

"Your measurements might be off today."

The doctor gave the king a questioning if still irritated look.

"Disposition factors into stats."

The doctor glanced at Gaster before waving one hand dismissively, "temperament would not alter the measurements to this degree, something is interfering with the process."

Gaster stiffened slightly as the doctor drew closer, eyeing him with an appraising look that said he expected to find a major flaw in what he saw. The king let out displeased hum as he also glanced at Gaster, "perhaps the wires between his bones? You said that the gown was enough to interfere."

"No, no," the doctor said absently as he continued to eye Gaster. "That has already been accounted for."

The slight frown that had been on Gaster's face hardened as he glared at the doctor. As the doctor ignored his expression and continued to stare at him Gaster reached up with his free hand to grip his collar.

"Ah, so that's it," the doctor's eyes locked onto Gaster's collar. "The synchronizer must be overcompensating, interrupting the frequency shift." The doctor narrowed his eyes, "the monitor will have to be removed to make greater progress."

The words didn't immediately register with Gaster because of the casual way in which the doctor said them. It took a moment before he stiffened sharply, hunching his shoulders defensively. His narrowed eye-sockets flashed cyan light in warning as he drew in strength from the liquid magic surrounding him. He wouldn't let the doctor do that to him again, never again.

The doctor tensed as he continued to stare at Gaster. The king released Gaster's hand, quickly standing to step between him and the doctor. "What would possess you to suggest that Drake?"

The doctor's eyes slid up to the king's face, "it isn't making nearly enough progress. If the soul is submerged when the monitor is removed the solution will sustain it, there will be no danger to it."

The king's voice was hard, "how much of a difference in his progress would warrant you to consider such a reckless action?"

"Exponential, the current amount of growth should have occurred within the first few treatments." The doctor looked back down at his papers, "also it's improvement may stagnate if it continues treatments while still wearing the synchronizer."

The king glanced back at Gaster, concern written in his currently stern features. "Drake how certain are you that he would be safe?" Gaster breathed heavily as he hunkered down in the liquid magic, he gave the king a pleading look as he still held onto his magic.

"Completely," he sounded slightly offended, "I would not risk the subject's stability with guesswork."

The king turned back to Gaster, kneeling to lower down to his level. "Do you trust me young one?"

Gaster's expression turned pained, the king couldn't do this. ' _Please no, no ask me this._ '

The king's eyes grew pleading, "do you trust me to keep you safe?"

Gaster pressed his eye-sockets closed as he slid deeper into the liquid, only his tight grip on the side of the tank keeping his heavily shaking frame from slipping in completely. This couldn't be happening. ' _Please no this._ '

"Gaster . . . " Gaster opened his eye-sockets to see the king holding out his hand.

' _I good enough,_ ' Gaster shrunk away, ' _this good enough._ '

The king's voice broke, " . . . please trust in me."

Gaster held in the silent whimper that wanted to slide out of his throat. He couldn't do this, anything but this. It wasn't fair for the king to ask this of him. Even if the king thought he knew what would happen he didn't really know what he was asking for, what he was asking him to do. He couldn't if he was still willing to ask it.

"Please young one," the king's eyes had pain in them, "I want you to get better."

Gaster pressed his eye-sockets closed again, he didn't want this to happen again. He would gladly let the doctor shock him into unconsciousness first. Why did the king have to look at him like that? Why couldn't this just be enough? It wasn't fair.

He reached forward to take the king's hand.

He shook heavily as the king gently pulled him close, he clung to the king before he slowly turned himself to lean back against the tank with the king behind him. The king moved to support him under his arms while still holding him low enough in the liquid that his soul was completely submerged. Gaster stiffened as he tried to keep his breathing under control and he grit his teeth when he felt the doctor's hands on his collar. He felt his magic flare and he resisted the urge to lash out as his soul beat quickly in his chest.

His eye-sockets shot open when he heard the click of his collar unlatching. His grip on the king tightened and he grasped at his magic as tightly as he could just before it winked out. As the familiar weight of the collar fell away Gaster lost all control of his body. His frame went limp and his head fell forward against his clavicle as his vision faded to shadows. His chest stopped rising as it stopped breathing and his soul stopped beating as the weak connection it had with his body was nearly severed.

His bones stopped shivering and went still, the joints that lacked wires sagged and pulled as they threatened to slip apart. His arms held tenuously in their sockets at the shoulder and the king was forced to shift his grip to holding Gaster up by the rib-cage. Gaster's hands were still locked in their hold clinging to the king's sleeves.

The king spoke to him but he couldn't hear the words, he clung to the whispers of the king's soothing tone though. He couldn't feel his body at all. He could only see the barest of shadows and shapes in his vision. His soul burned hot as the energy from the liquid magic flooded into it without the interference of his collar. He clung to that fire, it was a relief to feel it. He would have cried with joy if he could have at having that sensation to hold onto.

His mind quickly became hazy but he remained conscious and the energy still burned as it poured into his soul. His panic slowed some with time, his fear waning because as long as he felt that fire he knew that he was still alive. It wasn't the same as it was last time, he knew he wasn't dying this time.


	19. Old Wounds

His mind faded in and out of focus but he clung to the fire that told him he was still alive.

Thoughts floated idly around in Gaster's mind and he wasn't sure how long he had been like this, it was difficult to keep track of time with his senses disrupted. His vision had faded out completely a while ago and he could no longer hear even whispers of the king's voice. His trust in the king never wavered though, as long as he felt the burning energy in his soul he knew that the king was keeping him safe.

Safe. He really did feel safe. A strange thing to feel when the only sensation he had was the pain of energy flooding into his soul. But this was far better than how it had been last time, by a long shot. As Gaster's thoughts dwelled on that memory it came to him clearer than it had in a long time. He hadn't really meant to recall it so vividly but with his senses deprived it easily surfaced. He wished it hadn't, it wasn't something that he liked to remember.

He was still new then, he eagerly followed the doctor when he was called. The doctor was the one that gave him his energy, the energy hurt but not as much as he hurt without it. He did what the doctor asked and was as still as he could be, he pulled at his collar. The doctor told him to stop but he wanted to play with it. The doctor told him to stop again and he reached out to the doctor, he didn't like the way the doctor sounded but he didn't realize that he still held onto his collar. The collar shocked him.

He whimpered and pulled at the collar, the doctor took something out of his pocket and held it in front of him. The doctor told him to stop but he kept pulling at his collar, the doctor pressed the thing and the collar shocked him again. He cried, he waited to feel better like with the energy but he didn't, there was only the pain. The doctor was hurting him but this hurting didn't make him feel better afterword.

He cried and pulled at the collar that hurt him, the doctor reached up to it. There was a click and his body went limp, he lost all of his senses, he couldn't feel anything. There was only the void. It was suffocating, it was crushing him. It went on and on and on forever and it didn't stop. The weight of the darkness was splintering his soul. He waited and waited but the doctor wasn't helping him. Why wouldn't the doctor save him?

There was a painful snap as he was pulled back, at first Gaster wasn't sure if he was awake or still trapped in the memory. Then aching feeling returned to his bones as his loose joints pulled back into place. He was bundled up into a towel and pulled to the king's chest before he had a chance make sense of the world around him again. He let himself hang limply in the king's hold as he tried to figure out what was happening.

He didn't really know how to feel right now, he was dazed as emotions and sensations cascaded over each other in his head. He was still rattled, fear and pain still clung to him and swirled around as they fed each other in his quickly beating soul. But there was also a bone deep exhausted relief that dulled everything else and muted the hurt. He could now feel the soreness in his body from it having been forced to absorb the energy. And then there was the energy. So much energy.

The energy almost drowned out everything else as it coursed through him. His bones were alive with it.

The doctor stood by the monitor looking at the data that it collected, " . . . these readings, we must test the transfer rate before the retention level stabilizes."

"Drake," the doctor's head snapped up at the king's forced calm tone. "You will ask no more of him today."

"But sir . . . " the doctor blinked and shuffled back at the king's hard stare. "Sir if we do these scans quickly it will drastically reduce need for testing and scans in the future."

The king turned his gaze back to the still limp skeleton in his arms. "Young one?" The king brought a hand up to gently run over Gaster's skull.

Gaster blinked and stiffened at the contact as it anchored him back into reality, he sucked in a deep breath as he looked up at the king. He tried to blink the haze from his eye-sockets as he focused his thoughts again. He reached up to grip the king's robes in one hand and his collar in the other, he closed his eye-sockets as he lightly pressed his skull to the king's chest. He took even calming breaths as he listened to the strong beat of the king's soul to keep him in this moment.

The old memory still lingered, he hadn't thought about it in a long time. His grip on his collar shifted as he moved his fingers to run haltingly over the latch. It wasn't something that could come undone by accident while he held the collar and it would never fall open by itself but it was easy to open if someone wanted to. If the doctor had never done that to him he almost certainly would have pulled it off of himself at some point without knowing what would happen, he shuddered at the thought.

He hated being reminded of how truly fragile and barely alive he really was. The king rubbed his back as he relaxed, he was just so tired. He didn't know how it was possible to be brimming with energy and yet also feel so completely and utterly drained. His soul slowed to a steady healthy beat, it was so strange to feel.

Gaster opened his eye-sockets to look up into the king's crinkled and concerned features. "Are you alright young one?"

Gaster puffed out a single tired, humorless laugh. No he wasn't, but he was far better off than he had thought he would be.

The king pursed his lips as he gave Gaster a small smile of understanding. "I am sorry to ask so much of you young one." The king pulled Gaster a little closer as he gave a deep sigh, his eyes searched Gaster's face for a moment before he spoke again. "I will leave this decision to you but if you feel able the doctor wishes you to do a few tests now so that you will not have to do as many later."

Gaster let his eye-sockets close again as he let out a small sigh, he just wanted to rest. And yet there was so much energy pounding in his soul and coursing through his vibrating bones that he was almost worried he might never be able to sleep again no matter how tired he was. He might as well, the less time he spent with the doctor overall the better.

He gave a small nod and remained lax in the king's hold as he was carried out of the room. He took comfort in the king's strong arms around him as they traveled, it was hard to imagine now that he had ever felt anything but safe in the king's arms.

Once they reached the physical testing room the king gently put Gaster on his feet, holding his gown out to him and helping him to put it on. Once Gaster gave the king the towel from his shoulders he realized how light on his feet he felt. It was almost like he was floating with the strength that his legs had in them, he teetered slightly and his balance felt off from the unfamiliar amount of power in his frame.

"Ahem," the doctor cleared his throat as he stood next to the treadmill tapping his foot. "Sir time is of the essence."

The king put a hand gently on Gaster's shoulder but didn't urge him toward the treadmill, he only gave a light squeeze and a reassuring if slightly sad smile. Gaster took slow measured steps as he walked over to the machine, looking up from his feet once he stood still on it. He looked up into the doctor's gaze as he stood there, he could see the doctor's impatience building.

Gaster stood and watched far more calmly than he had used to as the doctor forced himself to control his temper. He didn't press the doctor's patience as much anymore because he knew that the king was forcing the doctor to help him but he still couldn't resist doing it when he knew that the doctor couldn't shock him. He couldn't resist when it was the clearest that the doctor ever looked at him, even if the doctor only saw a defiant creature.

Gaster felt a tear slip out of his eye-socket as he stared the doctor in the eye, the doctor stiffened looking slightly offended. Gaster resisted the urge to reach up and wipe it away, the king couldn't see that side of his face from where he stood. He clenched his jaw to keep it from wavering, he was ashamed that he still let the doctor get to him so. He had thought that those old wounds were well closed but that memory coming back to him so clearly had ripped them open again.

He still remembered when the doctor had been the one that he trusted.

Gaster took a deep breath as he hardened his resolve, he blinked back the moisture in his eye-sockets as he turned to start walking on the treadmill. He focused on his feet to keep them under him, focused on the sound of belt slowly speeding up. He focused on his breaths to keep them even, focused on the strong beat of his soul. Soon he lost himself in the concentration as he realized just how much that one treatment had improved.

He was trotting fairly easily, he could feel his soul strain slightly as it beat quickly in his chest but it was still a steady beat. His breathing was fast but it wasn't ragged as he was able to keep the pace going. He let out a laugh despite himself. He pushed a little harder without being told to.

Soon he was forced to stop as his energy wavered, he slid off the back of the treadmill but caught himself before he could fall. He braced his hands against his legs as he took in deep breaths. The king wore a relieved if tentative smile as he came over to lightly place his hand on Gaster's shoulder. "You did very well young one."

Gaster couldn't help the slight smile that sat on his face, he could feel his energy stabilizing in way that it never had before. It wasn't leaking from his bones as badly anymore, a good portion of it was staying inside his body and he could feel the strength returning as his breathing and soul beat slowed and steadied.

Gaster straightened as he got his breath back, wrapping his arms around the king as he was pulled into an embrace. Gaster closed his eye-sockets as he rest his head against the king's chest, the king ran a large hand gently up and down his back. The small smile slipped off of his face as he realized what this meant. He would have to do it again. The king would want him to do more treatments if he had improved this much with just one. He would have to let them take his collar off again.

He couldn't keep his bones from rattling as they shook more and his grip on the king's robes tightened. The king knelt down to pull him closer and he pressed his face into the king's shoulder. If the king asked it of him he knew that he wouldn't be able to say no, he wouldn't be able to resist that look in the king's eyes. He wanted so badly for this to just be enough. But if he was asked he would do this for the king, he could endure it for the king. It never could be easy could it?


	20. Lessons learned

He frowned at the cracked pencil in his hand.

Gaster tried to focus the jittery energy that was still settling in his bones from his most recent alignment bath. He had only had a few without his collar so far but after every one he had to readjust himself to how much force he needed to use for almost everything he did. He had always needed to push himself to have enough strength to do anything, he wasn't used to needing to put so little energy into things. He had to be especially careful right afterword until his energy stopped spiking and steadied again. Thankfully the king had decided that he wouldn't need treatments as often anymore, but still they were no longer something that he looked forward to.

He readjusted his grip on the pencil to hold it carefully over the worst of the crack so that it wouldn't splinter more as he continued to write. The king was talking with the doctor over by a monitoring screen as he worked on his sums while the latest scan ran through. He took his time to work on the math problems even if they weren't that difficult and the numbers were easy enough to read that he didn't have a problem with them. Even so he ran out of calculations to solve as he knew he would and it would still be a while before the king came back over to check on him again.

Gaster didn't want to bother the king when he seem to be deeply engaged in conversation, and he needed to go over some of his notes anyway. He slid the paper of numbers to the side and pulled his notebook up from his lap onto the table, glancing up at the doctor and the king to ensure they were still busy talking before he opened it. The king had promised that he wouldn't read it and Gaster trusted him to not to look into it if it was left to the side but he had no trust that the doctor would leave it undisturbed if it was left out.

He flipped through the pages until he came to a section near the end of his notes that held more symbols than diagrams. He had groups of symbols condensed around the sketches to compile information from other pages so that it was easier to find certain things without having to search for them. He had begun his notes before he had known much writing so he continued to use the symbols that he had decided on so that the notes wouldn't become a jumbled mess of broken writing and messy squiggles.

He held the notebook upright but it slid and tilted as he attempted to add to the notes in the margins, he ended up holding it at an angle against the table so that it would remain still as he wrote. He was so absorbed in his writing that he jumped when a hand suddenly pinned the notebook against the table. He quickly tried to pry it out from under the doctor's palm but stopped pulling on it when he heard paper tearing.

Gaster looked up in panic to the king, "Drake what are you doing?"

The doctor ignored the king's aggravated words as he stared down at the symbols on the page, "where did you learn this?"

"Drake."

The doctor released his pressure on the paper at the king's commanding tone but didn't take his eyes off of it as Gaster quickly pulled it to his chest. "Who showed you those symbols?"

Gaster glared silently at the doctor as he held tightly to his notebook, only narrowing his eye-sockets as the doctor's prying gaze slid up to his face. The king came to stand next to Gaster, placing a hand on the skeleton's shoulder as he gave the doctor a hard stare. "What are you doing Drake?"

The doctor's gaze flicked over to the king, "have you been showing it dingbats?"

The king's brow knit in confusion as he glanced down at Gaster, then back up to the doctor again. "I have not, I have only been teaching him common." His gaze fell to Gaster again as he gently ran his thumb soothingly across Gaster's shoulder. "Would you mind showing me young one?"

Gaster's guarded look slipped up to the king, he could see concerned curiosity in the king's features. His eye-lights flicked nervously over to the doctor's predatory gaze before they returned to the king. Slowly he pulled the notebook partially away from his chest, still holding it close as he turned it slightly toward the king.

The king was forced to kneel to get a good look at the symbols on the page, he squinted slightly at the crudely written symbols. "This isn't dingbats Drake, at least not in the traditional style. A variant perhaps." The king's curious eyes looked up at Gaster, "where did you learn this young one?"

Gaster quickly pulled the notebook to his chest again, he remained still as his tense eye-lights moved to the doctor again.

The king glanced at the doctor before sighing and giving Gaster's shoulder an understanding squeeze. "That's alright young one, you don't have to tell me."

The king rose to take a seat beside Gaster as he gave the doctor a look that more than suggested that he give them some space. The doctor didn't seem to see it as he stared down at the table, apparently deep in thought. The king gave another sigh as he pulled the paper of math problems toward him to look over them.

Gaster relaxed some as he slid the notebook into his lap, though he still glared at the doctor even if he wasn't paying attention. Gaster glanced over at the king as he began scrawling down another set of numbers. The king had a proud smile on his face, "you are doing very well young one, you truly are very clever."

Gaster couldn't help the smile that came to his face at the words, he ducked his head slightly as he plucked at the hem of his gown. He worked at the next set of simple problems with the king sitting next to him this time, going through them at a faster pace now that he wouldn't have to wait for the king to return once he was done. As he kept working he glanced up to see that the doctor was still hovering near the table, staring down at him as he wrote. He stopped to glare at the doctor again.

The doctor reached forward to snatch the paper from the table. "Drake what has gotten into you?"

The doctor flipped the paper over to scrawl across the back of it, "I wish to test something." Once finished the doctor turned the paper around and slid it halfway across the table toward Gaster.

"Drake that is too difficult a problem for him to solve."

The doctor caught the king's hand before he could pull the paper away. "You wish to prove it's intelligence do you not?" The doctor's eyes held a challenge in them as they watched Gaster.

Gaster's glare hardened, he pulled the paper toward him before either could take it and looked down at the numbers that the doctor had written. There was a long column of numbers, none of them had less than ten digits in them and about half of them had a minus signs sitting in front of them. He stared at it for a moment as he took in the scope of the problem.

"Drake that's not fair, I haven't even taught him about negative numbers yet."

When the king reached over to take the paper Gaster pulled it closer to himself. He understood the principles behind the problem, addition and subtraction. Even if it was longer with larger numbers it still operated under the same rules. He could do this, he wouldn't let the doctor's challenge go unanswered.

Gaster stared down at the numbers for a long time, his brow crinkled in concentration as his eye-lights danced across the page without writing anything. Eventually he picked up his pencil again but hesitated to bring it to the paper.

The king placed a hand on Gaster's shoulder as he gave the doctor a hard look. "It's alright young one, you don't have to do this."

Gaster frowned slightly as he brought his pencil down to the paper, writing on it a single zero. After a moment he turned the paper around and slowly slid it back toward the doctor with a defiant set to his features.

"It's alright young one, you did your best." The king gave Gaster's shoulder a squeeze but Gaster kept his hard gaze locked on the doctor expectantly.

The doctor's eyes took in the paper hungrily and a crooked smile crawled across his face in a way that made Gaster feel as if he had just stepped right into a trap. The doctor's eyes moved triumphantly up from the paper to Gaster's face as he placed his palms flat on the table to lean forward. "Well done Aster."

The king stood abruptly, moving around the table to drag the doctor away from it. His words were more an anxious command than a question. "You didn't."

The doctor pulled his arm free from the king's hold, "why not? He fell down at the same time as the rest."

The king's face was pained, "but you knew him, worked with him. He was . . . "

The doctor's features were hard, "he knew that he didn't have much time left, he volunteered. And now I know why."

"What do you mean?"

"He and I were the only ones working on the calculations for implanting a soul. You know he was too brilliant to have miscalculated by accident. He did so on purpose." The doctor pointed his finger at Gaster. "He altered the formula so that the fragment of his soul that we used would wake, he volunteered so that he could cheat death."

Gaster stiffened as he listened to the words, his tense eye-lights flicking back and forth between the doctor and the king.

The king's voice was strained, "he wouldn't have done that Drake."

"And why not? He was egotistical but still the way he named the project took it beyond even that," the doctor looked at Gaster. "Project G-Aster? We humored him because we all knew that this project was to be his last." The doctor looked back at the king, his voice growing heated. "He likely chose to call it that in the hope that he would recognize his own name in it."

Gaster clutched his notebook tightly to his chest as he fought to keep his breathing even.

The king stiffened, "this is proof of nothing Drake."

The doctor crossed his arms stubbornly. "The subject has a tendency for writing in dingbats with no known source of obtaining that knowledge and it has the ability to perform moderate level arithmetic despite it's immaturity. Both of these are qualities that Aster attributed."

The king's voice grew hard, "he is a clever child Drake despite the conditions that he has been forced to grow in."

"It possesses yellow magic as Aster did."

"An inherited trait, as one would gain from an ancestor."

"It has the ability to move objects remotely with it's magic in a similar manner to the way Aster could."

The king tensed even more at that. "The child's magic is primarily cyan, his soul is unique from the fragment that it was grown from."

"That only proves the extent of the influence that the human's remains had in increasing the soul's strength. If the yellow magic was only inherited the subject should not be able to manipulate objects with it in the manner that it does." There was a fierce certainty in the doctor's eyes, "tell me I'm wrong."

The king remained silent.

Gaster felt his soul's beat quicken in the silence. His gaze slid from the doctor's set features to the king's stiff frame. His own frame locked tense as he stared hard at the king, waiting for him to say something. Anything. Gaster's hands curled even tighter around the notebook as he watched the king, willing him to keep fighting the doctor. Willing the king to keep fighting for him. The king couldn't believe the doctor's words.

The king turned slightly toward Gaster, the shadow of a doubt slipping into his eyes.

No, not the king too. The king couldn't look through him too.

Gaster was rushing toward the door before he realized he had even stood, pulling it open and slipping past the guards outside. "Pup?" Gaster ignored Cadis' voice as he took off down the hall, "pup wait!" He kept moving as he heard the guards pursue him.

"Young one!" He almost slowed at the king's call, "Gaster!" He clenched his jaw and ran.

He felt his soul pang as energy was forced from it into his body, he pushed himself even harder. He needed to get away, he shattered his limits with his desperate desire to just run. He didn't care that it hurt, he didn't care how hard he pushed himself. He couldn't see the king look through him like everyone else.

Gaster quickly lost those chasing him, he knew these halls now. He kept running, forcing more and more energy from his soul until it spasmed painfully in his chest. He doubled over as he slowed to a stop, barely keeping his soul from heaving at the sudden use of most of it's energy. He panted heavily as he fought off the shadows at the edge of his vision, clutching a hand to his chest as his rapidly beating soul slowed.

He might have more energy than he used to but he had still pushed his body far beyond what was safe. He felt dizzy as he slowly rightened and took a staggering step forward. He grit his teeth as he wavered and he forced his feet to stay under him, taking slow even steps.

Gaster forcefully wiped the tears from his face as he breathed in sharply, snuffling as he dragged his feet along. He looked up to see where he was, standing just outside of his old room. He puffed out a heavy breath as he plopped down in front of the door, leaning against it as he pulled his legs up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them.

He gripped his femur hard but it didn't help much, the screw's light marks barely stung enough for him to feel them even on bare bone. He didn't want to hurt the king but sometimes he still needed them. He tightened his grip on his leg, sometimes he wished that he still had his scalpel.

He angrily pulled the sensors off of his bones and threw them away from himself. He couldn't . . . he couldn't handle it if the king looked through him too.

Gaster glanced up at the door behind him, now able to read the paper label slipped into the door's slot that no one had bothered to remove. Protect G-Aster.

The doctor's words tumbled around in his mind. What the doctor had said couldn't be true, his soul was his own no matter where it came from. He rocked slightly and his joints started to creak softly with the movement. He buried his face in his knees as he took in a few stuttering breaths. He was himself, nobody else. The doctor was wrong. Wasn't he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: The lovely HystericalRT made some fanart for this chapter! Go check it out!  
> http://curalee.deviantart.com/art/The-Experiment-639454823


	21. Seeing truth

He glared at the glass doors that mocked him by being so close and yet completely beyond his reach.

Gaster stood leaning right up against the barrier that kept him from leaving the lab, one hand pressed against it while the other held his buzzing collar in a tight grip. He pressed his forehead against the invisible wall as his unwavering gaze remained locked on the doors that lead to the outside. He leaned more against the side of his forehead with the fracture without really meaning to.

He didn't know if he was more angry or afraid at the doubt he had seen in the king's eyes. The king was supposed to believe in him. The king was supposed to be his support, not shake his foundations. Gaster was still building himself, trying to figure out who he was. The king was the pillar at the center of all that he had built up, if that support wavered everything could crumble.

He hated the sliver of doubt in himself that had wormed it's way into his soul but it wouldn't go away. It felt like poison.

He clenched his jaw tightly. Why did things like this keep happening? It had finally been easier to smile again. There always seemed to be something that kept taking that away. He didn't need this on top of everything else. How was he supposed to be sure of himself if everyone that looked at him saw something different?

Gaster stared ahead of himself as he tried to ignore the anger and fear that swirled and fed and fought each other in his soul. He tried to focus his attention on the glass doors, focus on the impossible freedom that he could never have had. Despite how deep it still cut, focus on the pain that was easier to deal with.

"Young one?"

Gaster stiffened at the soft voice behind him, his breath catching in his throat. He wasn't ready to deal with this yet.

He pressed his eye-sockets tightly closed as the king came around his side. "Young one please look at me." He didn't dare to look the king in the eye. "Please." Gaster pulled back from his touch.

The pleading guilt in the king's voice melted some of Gaster's fear, letting the anger that was left bubble to the surface sharper. He was angry with the king, angry that the king had doubted him. Angry that the king had made him doubt himself. He was angry at being afraid. He was angry at being angry.

The anger just kept swirling faster and faster inside his soul, desperate to be loosed. He vented some his frustration into his hands, quickly signing the first thing that came to mind.

' _I want out I want out I want out._ ' He quickly repeated the words over and over, latching onto that old desire.

"I'm sorry young one, you must be here to get better."

Gaster pressed his skull against the wall a little harder without really noticing, ' _I don't care. I don't want to be here._ ' His hands shook more as he tried to hold back the tears in his eye-sockets.

"Young one . . . " Gaster pulled away from the king's touch again.

' _I don't want to be here,_ ' Gaster stumbled back, ' _it hurts here._ ' Gaster wished he could shout, wished he could speak just so he could yell and scream because no matter how quick or hard his gestures were they couldn't really show how much it hurt inside. ' _I hate this place, I hate the doctor, I hate the people._ ' The tears slipped down Gaster's face as he opened his eye-sockets, ' _they don't see me._ ' Gaster still didn't look at the king.

"Oh, young one . . . " Gaster didn't pull away from the king's touch this time as his face was gently cradled in the king's hands. He let the king slowly bring his frazzled gaze up. As much as he feared to look he needed to know what was in the king's eyes.

There was so much guilt and pain in those eyes that it twisted Gaster's soul.

Gaster pulled away from the king's hands, stalking away a few steps before turning back. ' _You should have fought the doctor's words,_ ' he stared down at the floor unwilling to look at that pain when he still felt so hurt. ' _You should have told him he was wrong,_ ' he quickly rattled off gestures giving the king no time to respond before he was already signing something else. ' _You can't believe him, you can't._ '

The joints in his hands were starting to ache and creak again from the rapid forceful gestures, he was still low on energy and unused to signing so much so quickly. He clenched his hands tightly as he tried to slow his rapid breathing.

' _He's wrong, he's wrong._ ' Gaster pressed his eye-sockets closed, ' _I want you to see me._ ' He curled in on himself, ' _I need you to see me._ '

Gaster finally looked up as the king knelt in front of him, "I do see you young one, I do." The king reached out to him, regret in his eyes. "I'm so sorry that I ever made you doubt that." There was no hint of doubt in those eyes now.

The king knelt with his hand held out as his gaze searched Gaster's face. His features pained as he waited, silently pleading for forgiveness.

Why did the king have to do that? Why did the king have to make it so hard for him to hold onto his anger? Gaster wanted to stay angry, the anger was so much easier to feel than the hurt. He wanted the anger to boil hotter and hotter until it ate everything that he felt inside and he was left empty. He didn't want to let it go, didn't want to be left with the hurt. Hurt from the doctor's words, hurt from the king's waver in faith. Hurt from his own doubt, hurt from seeing the king's hurt.

He couldn't stand seeing pain in the king's eyes.

Gaster couldn't stop the tears that flowed down his face, he quickly moved forward to embrace the king. He took in hitching breaths as he buried his face into the king's shoulder, crying as the king pulled him close. He gripped the fabric of the king's robes tightly as if the king might disappear if he let go. He still hurt but he didn't want to loose this. No matter how much it hurt he didn't want to loose the king.

He needed the king. The hurt at loosing the king would be so much more.

Eventually his crying slowed and his grip on the king's robes eased as the king gently ran a hand up and down his back while humming softly. He slowly relaxed in the king's hold, taking slow even breaths as he tiredly wiped the tears from his face. He listened to the sound of king's hum vibrate through his chest, listened to the beat of the king's soul.

Gaster sighed heavily as the king pulled away to look at his face, "There is something I must tell you young one." There was still concern in the king's eyes as he brought a hand up to gently hold the side of Gaster's skull. He moved his thumb in slow soothing circles along the side of Gaster's face.

Gaster's dim eye-lights moved up to the king's face as he leaned slightly into the touch.

The king waited a moment, making sure that he had Gaster's full attention before he spoke. "Do you know what I see when I look at you?"

Gaster stiffened slightly, giving a small hesitant shake of his head so that the king would go on.

"I see a clever and curious child." The king gave him a reassuring if sad smile, "one who is far more patient and forgiving than any would have expected after the way you have been treated."

Gaster let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

The king brought his other hand up to place it on Gaster's shoulder, giving it a squeeze before he continued. "Because of the way you were created you will grow in ways that are unexpected but I have been able to make the doctor see reason in this matter." The king hesitated, "we have agreed that Aster may have intended what the doctor thought that he did."

Gaster clenched his jaw tightly as he looked down.

"However," the king's voice was firm. "We also agree that he failed."

Gaster glanced up at the king's words.

"The fragment of his soul that the doctor was able to recover was far too small to truly hold anything of him in it." The king took a deep breath, "and I hate to say it of him but Aster was often harsh and arrogant." The king gave Gaster's shoulder another squeeze, "you are nothing like him."

Gaster tilted his head down slightly but kept his eye-lights on the king.

"You are far more attentive and understanding than he was, anything other than your magic that you have in common with him is pure coincidence." Gaster clung to the king's words. "I would honestly say that you have more in common with me than you do with him."

That drew the ghost of a smile onto Gaster's face.

"You are more than where you came from, you are so much more than this place." The king's own small smile tugged a little wider, "to see you smile, to see that you still have hope despite all that has happened to you, it fills my soul with such joy."

The king pulled him close again and he clung to the king's robes tightly as he was embraced. He hadn't lost the king, the king still saw him. The relief he felt knowing that nearly made his legs give way under him. Even with the king's words though that sliver of doubt in himself remained. Try as he might he couldn't pry the doubt from his soul, not all of it.

He focused on one thought as he fought that doubt. The king saw him, truly saw the him that he had built himself. Parts of it had crumbled and cracked but as long as the king believed in him he knew that it wouldn't fall apart. As long as he had the king he could rebuild himself to be as strong as the king saw him to be. If he wasn't strong enough to get rid of that doubt now, perhaps later with the king's help he would be. Later, he would put this down until later. He was too tired to think about it right now anymore.

Gaster realized how exhausted he really was when the king scooped him up and carried him down the hall. He had so little energy left, with his anger and fear spent there was nothing left to fuel him. Shadows danced in the edges of his vision but he resisted the temptation of sleep. The hurt was still there, it was not so easily healed with how long it had stewed inside him but it felt somewhat muted as long as the king held him close. He would feel better with sleep but not yet, he wanted to stay with the king for as long as he could.

When they rounded the corner Cadis' anxious gaze slid up to Gaster from staring at his own nervously wringing hands. He fell in step beside the king as he watched Gaster with a concerned and searching gaze. He relaxed slightly when Gaster gave him a quick tired small quirk of his mouth which wasn't quite a smile.

Gaster didn't have the energy to hold Cadis' gaze for long though, his eye-sockets falling closed as his breathing slowed. He was faintly aware of the clanking of armor from the rest of the king's guard falling in behind them but didn't pay it much mind as he slid toward sleep.

He let his scattered thoughts slip away as he clung to the edges of consciousness. The last of his mind concentrated on one thing, the king was still there for him.

That above all else was what he needed, anything else could be endured as long as the king was there to make things better.

He let everything else fall away, there was no more hurt or doubt or desire or relief. There was nothing else, just him and the king as he slipped into sleep.


	22. Soul searching

He stared at the skeleton that looked back at him from the mirror.

Gaster had to remind himself that it was him who looked back from the reflective surface, if he stood still long enough it was easy to forget that. He didn't look in the mirror often, it tended to lead his thoughts in unpleasant directions. But today he took a good long look, taking in details and looking at the whole. Moving and shifting to remind himself that the skeleton that he saw mimicked and responded when he moved because it was alive and it was him.

He looked a little less weary, a little less worn than when he had last looked, though he still looked tired. Things had settled down a bit over the last few days, the doctor had gone back to more or less ignoring him again which he was more than fine with. But sometimes it was still hard to sleep when he had a lot to think about. His increasing energy levels that he still wasn't used to didn't help with that either. He leaned forward slightly as he took hold of his magic, watching the way the cyan light glowed softly in his eye-sockets.

He let his magic go and his eye-sockets remained hollow for a moment before his normal white lights returned. He leaned back again, taking in the way he stood and the way his long loose clothes sat on his bones. He might be a little taller than he used to be, not by much but he would have sworn that this sweater used to sit a little lower at his waist.

Hesitantly Gaster pulled up the front of his sweater until he could see his soul in the mirror. He looked at the inverted white heart that hung in his rib-cage, tensing a little as he watched it beat. He brought his free hand up to his sternum, his fingers lightly brushing the scar that ran up and down the length of his chest. He held his hand there just over his soul, feeling it's steady if fast beat faintly vibrate through his bones.

This was him. It was easier to think those words if he concentrated on this moment. He took in a deep breath, watching the way his ribs shifted in response. He pressed his fingers more firmly against his sternum, feeling the subtle difference between the constant tremor of his bones and the pulse of his soul that slipped into them. This was him, right here, right now.

Gaster let his sweater fall back down as he stepped off the stool and away from the mirror, moving back into the main area of his room. He went to his bookshelf, kneeling down he hesitated a moment before he pulled out one of the larger books from the bottom. He brought the thick and well dusted book over to his bed, leaving it there while he retrieved his notebook from it's place on the small table that sat next to the other end of his bed.

After grabbing it he climbed up onto his bed and sat back against the wall with both books sitting in front of him. He opened the thickly bound book, flipping through the pages with slight familiarity. He stopped when he came to the pages he was looking for, different sets of symboled script filled the pages in neatly divided sections. He looked through the headings for each section.

Glyphs, no. Lucida, no. Icons, no. Arrows, no. Stars, no.

Gaster quickly scanned over the sections until he found what he was looking for, dingbats. He opened his notebook and looked over his own symbols before glancing back at the printed symbols again. It was true that his symbols resembled the code in the book but they were clearly different when they were seen side by side. He relaxed a little as he idly flipped through the pages of the book, looking at the many sections of differently stylized letters. He wished he had worked up the courage to look sooner but he had needed some time to relax before he did. He had needed some time to brace himself in case he was wrong.

He closed the book and ran his fingers over the large print on the front cover, 'typography and fonts for all types'. He liked to look through it sometimes because it made him feel a little less discouraged when he looked at his own abysmal and barely legible writing. Some of the styles in the book were written in a similarly messy manner on purpose. He hadn't really given the symbols section much of a thought before because his own weren't originally intended to be used for writing, they had just been a placeholder until he learned to write in common.

But the more he thought about it the more he liked the idea of having something of his own. Even if he was the only one who could read it at least that meant the doctor wouldn't be able to pry into what he had written. He would still practice his common because the king wanted him to learn it but this could be something that was his.

Gaster looked over his notes for a while, occasionally adding something here or there but he did more thinking than writing. He slid his pant leg up so that he could idly slide his hand along his femur as he worked, relaxing as he gently ran his thumb across the old scars and the fewer newer lighter marks.

He tensed when there came a knock at the door, quickly sliding his pant leg down before the door opened.

Cadis stuck his head in a little before he entered, giving Gaster a smile as he came in. "Hello pup."

Gaster gave him a small smile in return, ' _hello Cadis._ '

Cadis sat and settled in his usual spot on the floor and Gaster slid off the bed to sit across from him with familiar movements, "would you like to keep going with more signs today or something else?"

Gaster was about to answer yes to learning more signs but he hesitated, his hand lingering close to his chest. He looked at Cadis searchingly for a moment before he signed, ' _could you tell me more about souls?_ '

Cadis seemed a little caught off guard with the question, "I don't know that much pup but I'll tell you what I can. What do you want to know?"

Gaster thought for a moment, his fingers curling a little around the fabric of his sweater. ' _Do all souls look the same?_ '

A measure of understanding slipped into Cadis' eyes, "monster's souls do, but human's souls look different."

Gaster just gave a small nod to that, waiting for Cadis to go on.

"I've never seen a human soul myself of course but I've been told that they're the same shape as ours except upside down." Cadis rubbed at the back of his head, "but for some reason human's souls are different colors from each other, not like monster's which are all white."

Gaster tilted his head down slightly, ' _the soul behind the door?_ '

Cadis hesitated a moment, "the captain tells me that one is cyan."

Gaster tensed slightly at that but he wasn't surprised given some of the things that the doctor had said. He resisted the urge to grip his sweater over his sternum again so that his hands would be free to sign. ' _How do you know monster souls look the same?_ ' The majority of other monsters that he had seen looked to be much more solid than he was. ' _How do you see them?_ '

Gaster flexed his hands a little to keep his joints loose, he needed to get more comfortable with using more signs more often. He knew he could use fewer signs when he was with Cadis and still be understood but he wanted to get more into the habit of signing in full sentences so that when he was with others what he meant would still be clear to them. He needed what he said to be clear.

"When you resonate your soul with someone else's your able to see each other's souls. It happens automatically when you get into a fight with someone or you can do it on purpose with someone that you trust. We do it in the guard when we're training or sparing to make sure we don't accidentally hurt each other too bad." Cadis tilted his head to the side a little, "you've never been in a fight before have you pup?"

' _No,_ ' Gaster shook his head as he signed.

"Well I suppose that's for the best, most pup's first fight is a scrap with their friends but . . . " Cadis gave Gaster a small tense smile, "well I wouldn't want you to get hurt pup."

Gaster considered this for a moment, he tilted his head down a little more as he looked at Cadis, ' _can I see your soul?_ '

"Well . . . " Cadis seemed hesitant as he tilted his head more to the side, he took in Gaster's searching and nervously anticipating gaze. " . . . I suppose so. I wouldn't want your first experience with resonating to be in a serious fight." He shifted a little where he sat before he motioned for Gaster to move toward him, "alright scoot a little closer pup, it's easier to do this with someone new if you hold each other's hands."

Gaster moved closer so that he was sitting right in front of Cadis, he held his hands out and Cadis took them in a light hold.

"I'll have to warn you though that this might feel kind of odd at first." Cadis voice turned serious, "now if I show you how to do this pup, you need to know you can't do it with someone else without their permission. And I don't want you to go around looking for a fight either. Ok?"

Gaster gave a quick nod to that. He certainly wasn't going to go looking for fights and he didn't particularly want his soul to be even more visible than it already was with anyone else but he trusted Cadis. He was struck by the sudden truth of that thought. He did trust Cadis, not as much as he did the king but it was the same sort of trust. Trust that Cadis meant well, that he cared. Gaster smiled a little more at that thought.

Cadis didn't catch the broadening smile with his eyes closed, he furrowed his brow slightly in concentration.

Gaster's hands tingled slightly with foreign magic, for a moment it reminded him uncomfortably of the itch he felt when he got near the human soul. He eased the tension out of his frame and relaxed a little when he realized that this feeling was very different. It felt more like something was sliding over the top of his own magic, rather than trying to dig underneath it.

He took in a sharp breath when that tingle suddenly wrapped around his soul, his grip on Cadis' hands tightened as he looked down at his chest. His soul was glowing brightly through his sweater.

Gaster took in a few quick breaths as he felt that tingle gently tug at his own magic, not his soul directly but he felt it invite him to hold onto his magic. Gaster looked up at Cadis as he attempted to even his breathing out, after a few moments he pulled on his own magic.

He felt his magic guided through his hands and pulled toward Cadis' soul, he carefully let it settle there as he was shown. Cadis' soul glowed brightly in his chest just the same as Gaster's did.

As Gaster stared at it he realized he could feel how strong it was. Somehow he was able to see Cadis' strength, how healthy he was and how tough he was. He had a feel for how hard Cadis could swing if he put desire into it and how well he could take a hit if he wanted to defend himself. It was hard to describe. It wasn't a very precise feeling, more of an overall awareness than an exact measure.

When he looked back down at his own soul he could see it with the same sort of awareness. The feeling wavered and shifted in a slightly unstable way, as if unsure of what it should be. His measures were less than Cadis', he could make out that much at least even with the unsteady way they moved. But sometimes the feeling would flicker sharply, for a moment sending his status far higher than Cadis' had been.

When Gaster looked up again he saw Cadis studying his soul with a somewhat serious expression on his face. Gaster tensed slightly under Cadis' gaze, briefly wondering if what he saw was something that he should be concerned about.

Cadis seemed to realize that he was staring and blinked a few times as his eyes slid up to Gaster's face. "Sorry pup, I just . . . you're stronger than I thought you'd be." He gave a small laugh as he smiled warmly, a measure of relief in his eyes.

Gaster relaxed again as he looked back down at Cadis' glowing soul, watching it's steady beat. Tentatively he took his hands from Cadis' so that he could sign, the connection between them remained as he held onto his magic. ' _This happens when you fight?_ '

Cadis gave a slow nod, "yeah."

Gaster frowned a little as he looked back up at Cadis' face, he hesitated a moment before signing. ' _Why didn't it happen when the doctor hurt me?_ '

Cadis pursed his lips as he gave Gaster a sympathetic look, he hesitated a moment before he spoke. "Well I suppose it might have something to do with intent. Like I said before, when we spar in the guard we have to resonate on purpose even though we are fighting with each other." Cadis reached forward to give Gaster a gentle pat on the shoulder. "You can hurt someone without wanting to fight them."

Gaster's gaze fell to the floor. He let his magic go at that, with the connection broken their souls stopped glowing.

"Hey pup," Cadis' voice was gentle, "you know you got people who care about you now, right?"

Gaster glanced up at that.

"You got the king and me, and even the captain's fond of you," Cadis gave him a warm smile. "I know that's not much in the way of friends but we'll do our best to make sure you're never hurt again."

Gaster gave Cadis a small grateful smile, ' _thank you Cadis._ '

"Of course pup," Cadis gave Gaster's shoulder another gentle pat. "You're important to us, especially to the king."

Gaster looked down at his hands before looking back up again, ' _what is like to have a family?_ '

Cadis' smile grew warmer but also somehow slightly sad, "having a family is having people who care about you and take care of you and you want to take care of them."

Gaster's gaze slid down again to watch Cadis' hands as he signed while he spoke.

"You're happy when they're happy and sad when they're sad. They're more than friends and they're so important to you that you couldn't imagine your life without them." Cadis' voice had a fond warmth in it. "You love them."

Gaster took in a deep breath as he fiddled with the hem of his sweater.

"I think that the king would like it if you asked him about it."

Gaster glanced back up again, his eye-lights took in Cadis' encouraging if somber expression before he gave a slight nod.

"Would you like to work on more signs now pup?"

Gaster gave a more firm nod this time, returning Cadis' smile slightly as they moved on.


	23. Sudden opportunities

He smiled as he listened to Cadis talk.

They had stopped going over signs a while ago and Gaster was content to just listen as Cadis described the various pranks his siblings had pulled on each other lately. Many of them involved snow in one way or another and they often devolved into snow fights or friendly wrestling afterword. Gaster tried to hold in his laughter whenever Cadis described one in which he was the target of the mischief but it was difficult.

There was a knock at the door, a moment later it opened and the captain entered. He gave Gaster a wave, "hey kid."

Gaster gave him a wave in return, ' _hello._ '

The captain gave Gaster a smile before he looked to Cadis, "everything's ready."

Cadis nodded as he stood, he motioned for Gaster to stand as well. "Come on pup, the king wants to see you now."

Gaster frowned slightly as he slowly stood, the king always came to greet him in his room. After a moment of hesitation he followed Cadis and the captain out into the hall. He walked beside Cadis for a few moments before he signed, ' _why did the king not come here?_ '

Cadis caught the cautious and slightly nervous expression on Gaster's face, "it's nothing bad pup, don't worry."

Gaster looked no less worried at this.

"It's something that you're going to like pup." Cadis gave him a reassuring smile and a gentle pat on the back, "trust me, ok?"

Gaster frowned a bit more at that but he resisted tensing up too much, he hadn't had good experiences with surprises it the past. They walked on in silence for a short while before the captain stopped to enter a room. Cadis motioned for Gaster to follow him and he did so after a moment.

Gaster relaxed a bit when he saw the king there smiling at him, but didn't relax completely when he saw the doctor standing in the back of the small exam room. He almost didn't notice Sidd standing off to the side until Sidd gave them each a slight bow of greeting in turn. "Captain Doge, project Gaster, sentry Cadis."

Gaster tensed slightly at that.

The king cleared his throat in slightly displeased manner, "I believe we spoke about this earlier Sidd."

Sidd turned his intense gaze to the king, waiting more than a few seconds too long before he replied. "What would I call him instead?"

The king hesitated at that, glancing at Gaster searchingly for a moment.

Gaster's eye-lights flicked between the king and Sidd and then to Cadis, who gave him a reassuring smile. ' _Haven't decided yet._ ' Gaster's gaze moved back to the king as he took a deep breath, ' _Gaster is fine for now._ ' It . . . it was still his. It was secondhand, a hand-me-down. It had belonged to someone else before but . . . so had everything else. It would do for now, until he found something that was truly his. He glanced back at Sidd again, ' _just Gaster._ '

The king's eyes looked at him with concern, "are you sure young one?"

Gaster gave a slight nod, then after a moment he gave a more firm one. ' _Yes, I'm sure._ '

"Your majesty, a moment?" The doctor motioned for the king to join him at the back of the room.

The king glanced at the doctor, he turned back to give Gaster a quick warm smile before he moved to join the doctor. "What is it Drake?"

Gaster tried to listen to what they were saying but was distracted when Sidd turned to stare at him. Sidd cocked his head to the side and after waiting more time than necessary he spoke, "adviser Gaster?" Gaster still wasn't sure how Sidd's voice could be questioning, somewhat insistent and nearly monotonous all at the same time.

Gaster let out a humored huff as he nodded, ' _that is fine._ ' After a moment he turned to Cadis, ' _how do I say a-d-v-i-s-e-r._ '

"Like this pup," Cadis made the new sign as Gaster watched his hands.

Gaster turned back to Sidd who was still staring at him intently, ' _what does adviser level security mean?_ '

"Adviser level security clearance?"

Gaster gave him a quick nod.

"Adviser level security clearance allows access to level one clearance for information and level three access to supplies and equipment."

Gaster instantly wondered what level was required to access the injections, he still had yet to find out where they were kept. His eye-lights flicked between Cadis and the captain before darting over to the king and the doctor. He felt his chest tighten with the need to find out but there were too many eyes here to ask that question now.

He was startled by the warning beep from his collar, he stiffened sharply as he tried to clamp down on his sudden panic. The collar had been altered to beep far sooner than it had before so that it would go off while he still had a fairly high energy level but the sound of it still sent a shudder through his vibrating frame.

Gaster pulled down the collar of his sweater as Sidd produced a syringe from his pocket. Gaster felt Cadis place a hand against his back to support him as he was given the injection, he sucked in a deep breath and went ridged as the energy trickled into his soul. The tension slowly eased out of his frame as he took even breaths, Cadis stepped back again once Gaster's footing was solid and he wasn't leaning precariously.

The king walked back to the front of the room, giving Gaster a sympathetic smile as he placed a hand on his shoulder. "How are you feeling today young one?"

Gaster gave the king a warm smile in return, he was glad that the king still called him young one. ' _Good,_ ' he had considered for a moment earlier giving that instead of Gaster for others to call him but he had decided against it. Those words belonged to the king, when he said them there was such a warmth in them.

The king's smile grew a little at that, "that is good to hear." He hesitated a moment, "I have been giving the things that you said the other day some thought, about your not liking it here in the lab." The king gave Gaster's shoulder a gentle squeeze, "I am sorry about that, I had not realized that it still troubled you so deeply."

The smile on Gaster's face slipped a little.

There was a hint of guilt in the king's eyes, "I want you to know that if there was another way for you to get better I would chose that path over this one in a moment. I will do whatever I can to make you comfortable here but I cannot take away from you the opportunity for you to be healthy." The king's voice grew ever so slightly quieter, "even if you hate me for it."

Gaster's eye-sockets widened a little at that, ' _I don't hate you, could never hate you._ ' He still wanted out, he did but . . . he had been so vulnerable in those moments, so hurt. He had dug at that old wound to avoid thinking about a new one. He looked down and fidgeted with his hands for a moment. ' _Some things are still not good,_ ' Gaster glanced at the doctor before looking back at the king, ' _but other things are better than before._ ' Gaster gave the king another smile, ' _you make things better._ '

The king gave him a broad smile, even if there was still a tinge of sadness to it. "I am glad to hear that young one." He pulled Gaster into a quick embrace.

Gaster hugged the king tightly in return, when he pulled back his smile grew wider as he looked at the king's face again.

"There is one thing that I've wanted to do for you for a while, and I believe that you are healthy enough now for it."

Gaster gazed at the king's face curiously.

The king's smile grew bright, "it will only be for a few hours for this first time but if things go well then next time may be longer."

Gaster's brow knit in confusion but his curious smile remained at the king's intent tone.

"We will be leaving the lab for a short trip today." The king's smile grew so warm, "I am going to bring you home with me."

Gaster's breath caught at those words. The shock at them rang through his skull so heavily that he couldn't think for a moment. This couldn't be real . . . could it? It was too impossible a thing for him to feel anything but numb. Gaster had to remind himself to breath again as he took in a shuddering breath, it felt like the whole world had suddenly flipped upside down. He felt his eye-sockets water as he stared up at the king in disbelief.

"Young one?" The king knelt, concern in his eyes.

Gaster quickly moved forward, giving the king a tight embrace as he laughed soundlessly but for the air he quickly breathed in and out.

The king gently pried him from his shoulder, concern turning into a gentle understanding smile when he saw that the tears that slid down Gaster's face were accompanied by a joyous smile.

There were no words for this, the hope that Gaster felt well up in his soul drowned out all thoughts but of the king and all feelings but happiness. He was going to leave, and it was the king who was taking him away. For the first time ever Gaster held no guard against the possibility of disappointment. He gave the king the widest and most genuine smile that he had felt in his entire life. He moved forward to hug the king tightly again, this was the greatest gift that the king could give him.

The king ran a hand up and down his back a few times before he pulled away again. He beamed up at the king and the king gave him a tenderly warm smile in return. "There are a few things I must tell you before we leave."

Gaster nodded eagerly as he continued to smile at the king.

"While we are outside of the lab you must stay with me at all times, alright?"

Gaster nodded quickly again.

The king's smile grew more serious but it remained warm, "and if there are to be more trips after this one you must listen when I tell you it is time to return."

The smile on Gaster's face grew ever so slightly less bright but he still gave another nod to that.

The king gave him a nod in return, "Sidd will be coming along in case your health needs to be tended to while we are gone, and the captain and Cadis will be going with us as well."

Gaster glanced at the others, he had almost forgotten that they were there. Gaster ducked his head slightly as he returned the captain's and Cadis' warm smiles, turning back to the king he nodded again.

"And there is one more thing," the king's smile grew a little more somber. "The monsters here in the lab know of you but those outside do not. On the way to my home some of those that we pass might stare when they see you. There are many kinds of monsters which there are few left of so most will likely take you for one that they haven't seen before." The king hesitated a moment, "but some of the older monsters who were around during the time of the war know what is left of a human when they see it."

Gaster's smile did slip a little at that, but the eager joy still remained even if it was muted slightly. He gave the king another nod to show that he understood.

With that the king stood, motioning for the doctor to come forward. For a terrifying moment Gaster feared that the doctor would be coming too, but the doctor moved over to Sidd. He strapped a cumbersome looking band around Sidd's wrist, it had several parts affixed around it that resembled those on Gaster's collar.

The king gestured to the device, "this transmitter will override the security field for your monitor."

Gaster glanced back at the king in confusion.

"It will allow you to leave the lab as long as you remain near it."

Gaster's gaze snapped back to the device, for a moment he forgot everything else as he stared at it. It was the key to his prison. It was the leash to his collar. It was all that stood between him and freedom. And it was right there within reach.

It was very hard for him to resist the urge to snatch at it.

The king moved back to kneel in front of Gaster, placing a hand on his shoulder, "I am sorry but you must not touch it young one."

Gaster stiffened sharply at that, he had to force himself to pry his gaze from the device and look back at the king's face. He could see concern but also a firmness in the king's eyes.

"I know that it will be difficult for you to return to the lab after this but I wanted to give you the opportunity to see what lays beyond these walls." He gave Gaster's shoulder a gentle squeeze. "And I wish for this to be something that we can do again but that can only happen if you listen to me, alright young one?"

Gaster stared into the king's solemn yet hopeful eyes, it was very difficult for him to resist the pull to look back at the band on Sidd's wrist again. A part of him couldn't help but try to calculate the odds as to how likely it would be for him to get the device. Reason told him that it was close enough to impossible that it would be stupid to try, even before taking into account that he didn't want to hurt anyone in this room. Except maybe the doctor, but that was beside the point.

It was still hard for him to give the king a stiff nod.

The king gave him an understanding smile and another gentle squeeze to his shoulder, "I hope these trips can be something that you can enjoy, even if you must return to the lab once they are over."

Gaster gave the king a somewhat tense but still genuine smile, he nodded a little more easily this time.

The king stood and offered Gaster his hand, Gaster took it without hesitation.

Gaster would take this small piece of freedom as it was given to him. He would keep an eye on the device when they returned and if he was lucky he could get to it later, and if not then he still would be no worse off than before. At the very least this was a glimpse at what was outside of the lab. And it was more time spent with the king.


	24. Heading out

He gripped the king's hand tightly as they approached where the barrier would usually be.

Gaster had been surprised when the king led him in a different direction than the way to the glass doors. They were headed toward one of the halls deep in the lab that his collar normally wouldn't let him pass through. There was a roughly circular area in the lab that he was able to travel to within the collar's limits but he hadn't been able to determine exactly why that was. He had at one point attempted to see if there was anything interesting or important near the center of that area but most of those doors were always locked.

He glanced up at the king who gave him a reassuring smile, still he couldn't help but slow down in anticipation of the invisible wall that he knew to be there. The king slowed with him and as they got close Gaster heard his collar begin to buzz quietly. He slowed even more as the buzzing slowly increased, taking deep breaths he held his free hand in front of himself as he took tentative steps forward.

As his hand made contact with the barrier he heard a click come from the band around Sidd's wrist. The wide eyed gingerbread assistant stood just off to the side and behind him and seemed to give the sound no notice. After a few moments his collar also made a clicking noise and it was as if the barrier had melted under his touch, one moment it was there and the next it was gone.

That was it? It was that easy? Gaster stepped forward ever so slowly, despite everything a part of him still couldn't believe that this was really happening. After a few cautious steps he picked up his pace a little at a time until he was walking normally again, he was just now realizing how nervous he felt to actually be leaving the lab. He resisted looking back to the device on Sidd's wrist and tried to ignore it for now. He wanted to focus on what was happening right now, he wanted to see everything that he could.

He grinned widely up at the king who gave him a broad warm smile in return. He could still barely believe that the king was the one taking him away from here, even if only for a short while.

Once they rounded a corner the captain moved forward to an odd looking door and pressed a button on the wall next to it. After a few moments it made a dinging noise and opened from the center, revealing a small square room within. Gaster hesitated as the captain and Sidd stepped in, looking up to the king in slight confusion.

"You've never been in an elevator before have you young one?"

Gaster shook his head as he looked back at the elevator.

"The elevator travels up and down through the rock of the mountain to take people to different areas where we have built into it's caves."

Gaster glanced back at the king as he gave a nod to that. It made sense that there would be things built in different layers within the mountain but he had never given it a thought before. The lab was a flat complex with one layer, at least the parts he had been allowed to go to. As he looked at the elevator again he realized that the lab might be much larger than he originally thought.

The king stepped forward and gave Gaster's hand a gentle tug, Gaster followed after him into the room of the elevator. Cadis was the last to step in after them, turning to push a button on the wall of the elevator once the doors closed.

There was whirring sound and the elevator lifted upward, Gaster stumbled slightly at the sudden movement but the king helped him to stay on his feet. Gaster wasn't sure how long they waited while the elevator moved but he was shuffling his feet in nervous anticipation the entire time. Finally the elevator slowed to a stop and dinged just before the doors opened, he was able to keep his footing this time during the shift of movement.

They stepped out into a stone hallway that was lined with brick walls and a stone pathway, Gaster looked around eagerly at it even as he gripped the king's hand tighter. The king led him down along the hall a short ways until they turned a corner, Gaster gasped softly as he looked out across a massive cavern. The path they were on stood high above towering buildings that sprawled off into the distance so far away that he couldn't see the end of them. Many of them still looked like they were being added to and built up but he couldn't imagine how many monsters there must be to live in this place.

He couldn't help but be struck still by all that he saw, it was just so much and it was all so new. Not just the new of seeing something he hadn't seen before like when he had first been allowed to roam the lab, it was the new of something that was nothing like anything he could have expected. This was completely different than anything he had ever seen before.

He leaned against the king slightly as he stared across the enormous city, there was just so many things and so much open space. It made him feel so small. The light of the place seemed very dim for the size that it was, he could see electric light in only a few of the buildings that were farther off. Those nearby were illuminated by the flickering light of fire within and the streets down below were lit by the soft shine of glowing rocks and plants that were strung between poles and along the sides of buildings.

He could faintly hear the distant sounds of the bustling people that he saw in the streets down below. Sound of walking and running as people moved along, laughing and talking and shouting as they went about their business. Sounds of dinging and creaking and ringing coming from sources that were unfamiliar to him. There were so many smells too, from food being cooked and the many fires that burned to give city light and warmth as well as from the people themselves.

This place was nothing like the cleansed and orderly and quiet environment of the lab, it was just so alive. Gaster felt overwhelmed by the barrage of new sights and sounds and sensations, it was hard to sort though them all. After a short while he realized that they were no longer standing still, but the king had been gently guiding him along the path as he stared down at the city.

He still looked down at it, taking in as much of the sight as he could but he also payed a little more attention to where they were going. The worn stone path was smooth but still hard and cool underneath his bare feet, he could feel a thin layer of dirt and dust sticking to bottom of his feet with every step. The air here had a crispness to it that made the air of the lab seem warm and almost dry by comparison.

Gaster noticed for the first time that they were passing a thin but steady stream of people that walked along the pathway. Some would split off to head down into the city or come up from one of the pathways that lead from the streets below. A few would stare at him curiously but then would move on again a moment later. Some would greet the king as they passed, bowing slightly or giving a nod of the head with well wishes or warm words or just smiles. Many though just moved along ignoring them, but it wasn't the sort of cold or disdainful disregarding that he was used to. It was just a lack of noting that anything was out of the ordinary.

It was a long walk along the pathway, at one point it turned to travel right between clusters of towering buildings that loomed along either side of it. The number of traveler increased greatly here, more and more of them gave Gaster and the king both curious glances. Though none seemed to be hostile or unfriendly Gaster pressed himself close the king as they walked while so many passed by around them. He didn't realize how tense he had gotten until he started to relax when the crowd thinned out.

Not long after that the pathway led into the side the large cavern and after a short distance it opened up into a far smaller cave. Not far into this cave was the front of a small house, it's bricked walls held a pair of windows and an open doorway. As they traveled down the path to the door they walked through a pile of leaves that covered the ground. Gaster stared down at them, he had never seen so many at once and the assistants in the lab most certainty preferred that they stayed on their plants. He smiled a little at the crinkling noises they made as they were stepped on, he took steps to purposefully crunch larger piles of them beneath his feet as he walked.

The king led him through the doorway and into the house, he looked around at the small yet cozy rooms and halls that could be seen from the entrance. The whole place felt warm and inviting, it looked lived in and loved. "Welcome to my home." Gaster was still trying to take in everything as the king guided him to one of the rooms off to the side.

The room had a large table with several chairs set around it and a wide fireplace that had one much more soft and comfy looking chair sitting in front of it. The king released Gaster's hand and moved to the fireplace, with a gesture of his hand it filled with a magical fire which gave off a pleasant warmth immediately. "You three may wait here," the king gestured to the table. "Young one, come with me," the king waved for Gaster to follow him into the next room and Gaster moved quickly after him.

This new room's floor changed from wood to tile and there was a counter and a sink and several appliances lined up along the back wall. Gaster watched curiously as the king moved to start pulling things out from the cupboards under the counters to set them on top of it. "Cadis tells me that you have tried eating a few things, is there a kind of food you prefer?" The king paused in his gathering of items to turn back and see if Gaster replied.

Gaster tried not to grimace at that, he answered after a moment, ' _chisps._ ' He didn't mind the taste of most of the things he had tried but eating soft or moist foods was messy and difficult without lips. And that seemed to be the kind of food that Cadis favored so it was the kind that he had most often tried.

The king gave a soft chuckle at the answer, "well I don't have what is necessary to make chisps, how does cookies sound?"

Gaster tilted his head to the side, ' _you make food?_ '

The king smiled to that, "yes, we will be making some together."

Gaster stepped forward to stand next to the king, looking at the items and instruments that the king had placed on the counter. ' _Never had cookies before._ '

"Cookies it is then." Gaster watched as the king pulled out a step stool and placed it in front of the sink, "the first thing we do is wash our hands." The king rolled up the large sleeves of his robes and the then helped Gaster to roll the long sleeves of his own sweater up.

The king cleaned his hands in the sink first and then gestured for Gaster to do the same. Gaster tried not to frown at the feeling of the soap as the water pushed it between his bones before washing it away. He shook his hands into the sink to get as much of the water off as he could.

After wiping his hands dry on a towel the king slid the stool across the floor with his foot so that it sat in front of the counter. Gaster stepped back up onto it and held onto the large bowl and spoon that he was given. He watched intently as the king measured out various powdered and liquid ingredients into the bowl, "now you stir these together young one."

Gaster pushed the large spoon through the uneven mixture, slowing his movements after a moment and stirring more carefully so as not to spill the contents of the bowl onto the counter. As he stirred he watched the king fill a kettle with water and place it on the stove, lighting a magical fire underneath it. The king also opened the door to the oven, adding a fire to the inside before closing it again.

The king then returned to Gaster, adding a few more ingredients to the bowl as Gaster stirred. Gaster leaned over the bowl for more leverage, having to push more forcefully as the mixture became thicker and harder to stir.

Once the ingredients were thoroughly blended the king brought over a pair of trays and they both dabbed globs of the mix onto them. Gaster tried to imitate the king's even and neat balls of dough but his were always slightly bigger or smaller. After the trays were filled the king took them over to the oven, sliding them inside before closing it again.

"Now we wait."


	25. Found ties

He stared at the baking cookies through the small window in the oven.

The shock of seeing so many new things already was only now beginning to fully wear off, Gaster could never have imagined half of what he had seen. He liked it here in the king's home, he hadn't had a chance to look around very well yet but he liked the comfortable and cozy feel of what he had seen so far. The small place was tucked away, secluded but not isolated. The world was still out there, but at a comfortable distance. As if a person could chose to go out to it when they wanted to but it wouldn't come in to intrude here.

He knelt in front of the oven and continued to stare at the cookies as the timer softly ticked down the time it would take before they were done. The change as they flattened out and darkened was so slow that he couldn't see it as it happened but he continued to watch them anyway. He would smile and glance over at the king occasionally, always getting a beaming smile in return. As the cookies baked the king went about preparing tea, placing teabags in the warmed pot and adding the heated water from the kettle before covering it with a knitted tea cozy. Gaster watched as the king gathered the teapot and several cups onto a tray that sat on the counter.

Gaster glanced back over to the oven and then the timer, just before it was about to reach zero the king reached over to switch it off. "These will be hot when I take them out young one, don't touch them right away."

Gaster stood and backed away from the oven as the king pulled on oven mitts to grab the trays of cookies with. The king set them on top of the stove and set a large plate down on the counter nearby. Gaster was surprise by how very enticing the cookies smelled and he watched as the king scooped them with a spatula onto the plate. To his disappointment though they still looked very soft and squishy as the king moved them.

"Here young one, you take these." The king handed Gaster the plate of cookies, carefully supporting it's weight until he was sure that Gaster had a good grip on it before turning to pick up the tray with the tea. "Let's bring these out to the others."

The king led Gaster back out to the room where the others waited at the table, Cadis and the captain were talking while Sidd watched them quietly. The king set down his tray before helping Gaster to lift the plate of cookies onto the table. Gaster couldn't help but laugh a little at the way Cadis eyed them hungrily and was clearly struggling to keep himself from digging in immediately.

The king sat in one of the free chairs and motioned for Gaster to sit next to him. Gaster sat and watched as the king poured cups of tea for everyone, passing one to him as well. He stared dubiously at the liquid in the cup, he had never tried to drink anything before and he was not eager about trying to.

He glanced at the king who smiled at him encouragingly, "tea is one of my favorite things to share with others, I hope you like it young one."

Gaster looked back down at the cup with a grim determination as he cradled it gently between his hands. He brought it slowly up to his face, eyeing it one more time before bringing it to his mouth. He carefully positioned the rim of the cup against his teeth so that it wouldn't dribble down his chin as he ever so slowly tipped the cup up.

It was a very strange sensation to have the liquid slowly pour into his mouth. He stopped after a small amount so that the magic that held it where it was behind his jaw could dissolve it before he added any more. He tried not to make a face at the strange flavor of it as he instinctively swallowed, making it dissolve almost instantly.

Gaster glanced back at the king again who gave him an amused smile, "here young one, try adding milk to it." Gaster took the small pitcher that was offered to him, looking down at the white liquid that was inside of it. He slowly tipped it over his cup, careful not to pour too much of it out and overflow his cup. He tentatively brought the tea up for another try once he was done, it was much sweeter and creamier this time. Gaster carefully took a few more sips before lowering the cup again.

As Cadis reached eagerly for the cooling cookies the captain caught his hand, his tone was light but also slightly serious, "now remember to pace yourself lad, these are for everyone." Cadis glanced up at the captain before giving a sheepish smile and nod, his movements toward the cookies were much more delicate and restrained after that. The captain and the king each took a cookie from the plate as well.

After a moment Sidd also reached for a cookie, Gaster watched them each take a few bites from their cookies before he reached for one as well. He held up the still rather soft cookie disappointedly, frowning slightly as he watched it fold under it's own weight.

The king gave a soft chuckle, "it will be more solid if you wait for it to cool more young one."

Gaster glanced at the king before nodding, setting the cookie down to cool and hopefully become a more acceptable consistency before he ate it. He looked back to his tea again, taking a few more small sips as he waited.

When he picked up the cookie again it was definitely more solid this time. He glanced over at Cadis for a moment, thankfully the dog guard was taking more care than usual with his chewing. As he usually did Gaster held one hand in front of his mouth so that it wouldn't look disturbing when he ate and he used the other hand to hold the cookie as he nibbled at it. The cookie was still a little soft but just enough so that it was chewy instead of crumbly, he smiled at the deliciously sweet flavor of it.

Gaster took more small bites, savoring the taste of the treat. After another bite he stopped, stiffening slightly at a sudden strange sensation he felt in his soul. After a moment it passed and he slowly relaxed a little, waiting a little to see if the feeling returned before he continued to nibble at the cookie. After another few bites he felt it again. He tensed until it passed, waiting a bit longer before he returned to bite at the cookie much slower than he had before.

Again after a short while the feeling returned, Gaster stiffened again as he tried to concentrate on it. The sensation was somewhat familiar but in an odd way, it was like he could recall this feeling but not at this intensity. It was familiar but also somehow much more . . . gentle than whatever it reminded him of. Gaster stared at what remained of the cookie as he thought, trying to place where he knew the fleeting feeling from.

He took a nibbling bite and then another as he thought, the feeling came again and he didn't tense up as much this time as he tired to examine it more closely. It wasn't painful or really even uncomfortable, just entirely unexpected. It felt like . . . a trickle of energy entering his soul. Gaster furrowed his brow as he stared incredulously down at the last bite of his cookie. After a moment he popped it into his mouth, waiting to see if he felt it again. Nothing.

Gaster reached for another cookie but after a few small bites he didn't feel it again so he just focused on the taste of the cookie as he ate. He found that it only happened twice more by the time that he finished his second cookie. It was definitely a very odd sensation to feel energy flowing from his body into his soul rather than the other way around. But he was more than relived to find that it didn't hurt or even make him stiffen like his injections did.

He took a few more sips of his tea, drumming his fingers against the sides of the cup as he looked around at what he could from where he sat. There wasn't much in this room beyond the table, the fireplace and a large bookshelf that sat beside it. He glanced back down at his mostly full cup of tea and then at the plate of cookies which still had about a quarter of the original amount remaining. He did rather like the taste of these things but he didn't really crave them. He had heard Cadis talk about being hungry before but he wasn't sure what that was like. He knew what it felt like to be painfully low on energy but he was relatively certain that was different.

"If you are done eating young one you can go look around for a little."

Gaster was almost startled by the king's voice, he hadn't realized the king had been watching him. He glanced over to the hall then back to the king again. ' _Really?_ '

The king gave him an amused smile, "Yes really. Just stay inside for now and don't go downstairs, alright?"

Gaster gave the king a quick nod, he slid off of his chair and slowly walked toward the hall. He glanced back again before leaving the room, the king gave him another smile and motioned for him to go on. Gaster smiled in return before he walked out into the hall.

He walked down the hall, giving the stairs that led downward a curious glance before moving on. He looked closely at the glass lamps that lined the walls and the long worn but well looked after rug that ran along the floor. He paused by one of the several golden flowers he had seen, reaching up to carefully feel it's soft petals and breath in it's fresh scent.

Gaster continued down the hall, passing by the doors until he reached the end. He only gave the mirror at the end a glance before he turned to the door closest to him. He hesitated a moment, looking back down the hall for a second before returning his attention to the door. The king had told him that he could look around and there didn't seem to be much to look at beyond the rooms that lined the hall.

He opened the door and walked into the room. There was a desk near the door and large bed beyond it, there was also a dresser and a tall wardrobe against the back wall. Gaster glanced at the desk, there was an open book sitting on it and he recognized the king's neat and flowing handwriting on the pages. He squinted down at it as he tried to make out what was written in it, 'tomorrow I will be bringing the young one out of the lab for the first time, I hope that he enjoys it.'

Gaster looked over a little more but soon moved on, he was very curious about what else might be written but he was still a very slow reader and he wasn't sure how much time he would be given to look around. He walked over to the dresser and peeked into one of the drawers, seeing several shirts and robes inside. He moved to the wardrobe next, there was a large red and white outfit within.

Closing it he glanced around the room again, he went over to examine the object that sat alone in one corner of the room. He ran his fingers over the words engraved into the large metal cup, 'number one nose-nuzzle champs '98.' After a moment he moved away from it, looking around one last time before he exited the room.

Once out in the hall Gaster walked along to the next door down. He found that it was locked and it had a sign stuck to it, 'room under renovations.' He frowned slightly at the words before he continued down the hall to the last door.

It only took a glance for him to realize what this room had been for. Gaster moved into the room a bit more slowly as he looked around, there were two child sized beds against the far walls and each had a box with a neatly tied bow sitting on it. He glanced at the shelf which had many toys and other objects lined along it and there was a framed picture sitting on top of it. Gaster picked it up to look at it more closely.

The king had such a warm and happy smile in the picture. Next to him was another monster that look quite similar but was a little shorter and her features were a little softer, she looked equally as happy as he did. In front of them were two children, one was obviously there son. The other was a human. Gaster had never seen what a human looked like before but he could see the obvious shape and proportions that he shared with it. The human and monster child clung to each other with obvious fondness as they smiled in the picture.

Gaster gently set the picture down as he glanced over to the wardrobe, he slowly slid the drawer at the bottom open to look inside. He lifted out one of the many striped shirts that sat inside, holding it in front of himself. It would have been too small for him to fit into. He folded the shirt as neatly as he could before placing it back in the drawer.

He glanced around for a moment, eye-lights lingering on the wrapped boxes before he stepped over to a toy chest at the foot of one of the beds. He knelt down to carefully lift the lid and look inside. Gaster stared at the thick layer of dust that coated the toys for a few long moments before he registered what it was. He sucked in a sharp breath, pulling his hand back quickly before he ever so carefully lowered the lid again.

Gaster rocked back on his heels as he looked back over the room from where he sat, glancing at the picture again. The two children in it looked so small compared to the large monsters behind them. How young had the king's children been when they died? He felt a pang in his chest for the king, he couldn't even begin to imagine the pain the king must have felt at losing them.

Gaster left the room but he remained in the hall for a little while before he returned to the room the others were in. He leaned against the frame of the doorway for a short time and just watched the king and the captain talk as the others mostly listened. They were playing some game with a deck of cards as they talked. After a while the king spotted him and motioned for him to come over, when the king smiled at him he couldn't help but smile in return.

"Are you done looking around young one?"

Gaster gave him a nod.

"Would you like to play some card games with everyone?"

Gaster's smile widened a little as he gave another nod, he was very good at bluffing and not letting it show when he got a good hand of cards.

It was much more fun to play with a larger group of people rather than just with the king or Cadis alone. Cadis would often have to lean over to get a good look at the cards but he was a tricky player, the king was a terrible bluff when prodded but somehow if he was left alone he would often sneak in for victory. The captain was a ruthless and fast player while Sidd sat back and was impossible to read. They went through many rounds of several different games before they broke off.

After a while Gaster found himself sitting on the floor in front of the fireplace with the king. His thoughts drifted around idly as he watched the magical fire dance.

"Is something wrong young one?"

Gaster blinked at the king's words, he hadn't realized that he had been frowning as he thought. ' _No,_ ' after a few moments he signed again. ' _Cadis showed me how to resonate souls._ '

The king's concerned features turned into a gentle smile. "That was kind of him, I'm glad that you get along so well with him." After a moment the king set down the book he had been reading to Gaster. "Would you like to try with me?"

Gaster gave the king a smile as he nodded, when the king held out his hand Gaster took it.

"You may lead young one."

Gaster glanced up at the king and after a moment he pulled on his magic, he carefully guided it through his hand as Cadis had shown him. Very slowly and very carefully he settled it around the king's soul.

The king gave him a reassuring smile, "don't worry young one, you cannot hurt someone by resonating."

As the king's soul glowed his followed quickly after, it was far less jarring this time as the king's magic made his soul glow in response. Gaster tilted his head slightly as he looked down at his own glowing soul to see that it acted the same as it had before, shifting and wavering slightly in strength and occasionally spiking for a moment before settling some again. He looked back up at the king's soul again and he couldn't help but stare at it, the king was so strong.

"It is easier the second time you resonate with the same person."

Gaster looked up at the king's face in confusion, ' _but we haven't._ '

"We did on the first day that we met, it only happened briefly and you were very distressed at the time." The king gave his hand a squeeze, "I did not think that you remembered it because you never asked about it."

Gaster shook his head as he looked down, ' _I didn't remember._ '

The king gave a gentle nod, he glanced up at the clock that sat above the fireplace and gave a soft sigh. "It is time to go back now young one."

Gaster tensed at that, was it already? He tried to fight down the instinct that was already trying to think of a way to escape going back. He took his hand back and let the magic go as he glanced back up at the king. ' _Can I ask you something first?_ '

The king gave him a nod, "of course young one."

Gaster glanced down at his hands a moment, fidgeting with them as he took in a few deep breaths to brace himself. His chest tightened with the anticipation of the answer. ' _Are we family?_ '

For a few agonizingly long moments of silence Gaster continued to stare down at his hands until he summoned the courage to look up at the king's face. The king had tears in his eyes but he was smiling. He spoke ever so softly, "if you would like that young one."

Gaster felt his own tears slide down his face. He nodded vigorously, his hands were shaking too much to sign properly. He moved forward to embrace the king, crawling into his lap and pressing up against his chest as the king held him tightly.

They were family. Gaster really did love the king, he was the most important thing in his life. Gaster couldn't recall exactly when that had happened but it just felt like it was impossible that the king had ever been anything less to him.

Gaster closed his eye-sockets and listened as the king hummed tenderly and he gently ran a hand up and down Gaster's back. They sat like that for a while and Gaster wished they could just stay like this forever.

"We must go back now young one."

Gaster still couldn't keep himself from tensing at that. He would do what the king asked of him. He gave a small nod against the king's chest, he knew he had to go back but he didn't know if he could make his feet carry him there. He signed without looking up, ' _carry me?_ '

"Of course my child."


	26. Minor revelations

 

He didn't have a destination in mind, he just wanted to walk until he was tired enough to sleep.

Coming back to the lab had been hard. The king had stayed with Gaster for a little while and that had made it a little bit easier but still. It had been hard and there really was no way to change that. Gaster had been restless since returning yesterday and hadn't been able to properly relax or get a good rest yet. He was glad for Cadis' company, the dog guard's presence had helped to keep him distracted from the inevitable distress and disappointment at once again being confined to the lab. But there was one thing that he clung to that helped even more.

He and the king were family now. It was strange but in a way it felt like nothing had really changed. Like that was the way it had already been and they had just needed to say the words themselves. But saying it out loud made it feel all the more solid, all the more real. The king had been important to him for a long time but to know for certain that the king felt the same, it filled his soul with a happiness he had never known he could feel. And the king had made him a promise. There would be more trips after this one. Many more.

That had definitely made it a little bit easier when the king had left. Gaster didn't know how long it would be before the king would take him away again but he could wait for this, he could be patient. The king had promised him and he could be content with the certainty of it, even if he didn't know when it would be.

Right now though what he really needed was to be exhausted enough to get a truly restful sleep. Unfortunately part of the problem with that was how much energy he had now. Gaster never would have thought that he would be frustrated by being unable to just pass out but he had certainly been hoping that he would be more than just tired after how long he had been walking so far. He thought about running, trying to pull more energy from his soul like he had before but he decided against it. He didn't know if he could without being desperate for it and he didn't want to push far enough to need an injection to recover anyway, that would defeat the point of using up the energy in the first place.

Gaster and Cadis walked in silence for a while. Gaster chose halls and turns at random, not really paying much attention to where they were going but still somewhat keeping in mind where his room was so that when he was finally tired enough to sleep it wouldn't take too long to return. After rounding a corner he stopped abruptly to avoid running over Sidd, who was standing just beyond it.

The wide eyed assistant gave a him slight bow, "adviser Gaster." Cadis was forced to stop as short as Gaster had with how near the corner Sidd had been standing. Sidd turned to the dog guard once he rounded the corner as well, "sentry Cadis."

Cadis huffed slightly at the gingerbread assistant, "do you do this just for the pup or do you wait lurking for whoever happens to cross your path?"

Sidd didn't answer Cadis as he produced a syringe from his pocket. Gaster frowned at it slightly for a moment, not pulling down the collar of his sweater. The last thing he needed right now was more energy to try to burn off. After a moment he signed, ' _not right now._ '

After a few seconds Sidd turned his head to look at the syringe he held in his hand before turning back to look at Gaster again, "why not?"

Gaster glanced at Cadis, who was looking at him with slightly more concern than he had already. ' _Tired, want to sleep,_ ' Gaster fidgeted with his hands for a moment. Sidd could be a very persistent monster, Gaster hoped that he would listen. ' _Too much energy already._ '

Sidd stared at him for a few long moments before he slipped the syringe back into his pocket.

' _Thank you._ '

Sidd gave a nod to that and when Gaster and Cadis stepped around him to continue down the hall he trailed after them.

Gaster didn't pay him much mind as they walked, it wasn't unusual for Sidd to follow them around for a while after he gave Gaster his injection. Gaster's thoughts turned to the syringes, he hadn't had a chance to ask Sidd if he would be able to access them with his level of clearance. Sidd would usually answer what he asked, even if it was in a roundabout way. Gaster might even get the assistant to tell him where they were kept.

He glanced at Cadis, he didn't really want to ask in front of anyone. Even asking might make Sidd suspicious but it was something he had to ask, and this was about as private as he was going to get for the question. But he would ask a few other questions before, another few after. Don't let it stand out or draw attention.

Gaster slowed a little as he glanced back at Sidd, after a moment he gestured for the assistant to walk next to him. Sidd tilted his head to the side as he watched Gaster, after a few seconds he moved forward to walk next to Gaster opposite of Cadis.

Gaster returned Sidd's wide eyed stare with a curious expression as he thought about how to word his questions. ' _Where does liquid magic come from?_ '

Gaster watched Sidd as he waited the unusual amount of time it normally took for the assistant to respond. "Liquid magic is distilled and concentrated from the same magic crops that our food is harvested from." Sidd seemed to study Gaster's curious and eager expression for a few long moments before going on. "The specific crop used is unimportant due to the process of liquidation and purification. Most often whatever is currently in surplus is used."

Gater tilted his head as he considered what Sidd had said. ' _Does anyone else use them? Or just me?_ '

Sidd answered after a few moments, "not actively but they are standardly used as temporary assistance for those too sick or injured to eat normally."

Gaster gave a nod to that, ' _how much energy is in the injections compared to food?_ '

Sidd glanced over to Cadis before returning his gaze to Gaster, "the amount of energy in one of the doses you receive would be enough to sustain a monster of sentry Cadis' size for three days."

Cadis let out a soft whistle, "really that much? But the pup gets several of them a day."

Gaster glanced at Cadis, taking a moment to compare his own size to Cadis'. The dog guard was a head and half taller than him and just a little bit wider, but he was also much more solid than Gaster was. Gaster turned back to Sidd again, ' _how long for a monster my size?_ '

Sidd answered a bit quicker than before, as he sometimes did once he was engaged deeply enough in a conversation. "Taking into account the different physical makeup and density as well as unusual soul strength, approximately five days."

Gaster glanced down as he took that in, for a long while after he had first met the king he had been given three or four injections a day to help boost his health. More recently though he was back down to two injections for most days and it definitely felt like his body retained the energy much more than it used to. After every alignment bath he felt noticeably better and stronger than he had before but if the injections were supposed to last him that long then he was still a long ways off from being as healthy as he could be.

Not that he hadn't already known that but putting some numbers to how far he had come helped to give his progress a sense of scale. It helped to make it feel like there was an end destination that he could reach. A point at which he would finally be just . . . fine. Healthy. Normal.

Gaster was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he almost forgot to ask the next question. ' _Where are the injections kept?_ '

"Storage room seven."

Gaster managed to keep most of the frown he felt from his face but he couldn't help but let out a soft sigh, that was beyond the area his collar would let him reach. It never was easy. He hesitated before asking his next question. ' _Will I always need them?_ '

Sidd tilted his head slightly to the side, "once the connection between your body and soul is strong enough food will be enough to sustain you, however supplements will always be more efficient."

Gaster gave a nod to that as he thought, if he actually ever got to the point where he needed so few he wouldn't need to gather nearly as many as he had thought he would need to in order to escape . . . but he couldn't leave the king.

Gaster missed a step as the full true contradiction of those two lines of thought hit him hard. He stumbled slightly as he caught himself and he forced his suddenly tense body to keep moving.

"Are you alright pup?"

' _Fine,_ ' Gaster signed absently as he stared hard at the floor. The possibility of escape had always been remote, as much as he had never allowed himself to admit it he had always known that it would be unlikely. A far off goal that he had clung to and fought for with everything he had even if it was nearly impossible. It had always been the best possible future he could hope for, the only future he could hope for . . . and now it wasn't.

Gaster slid his hand up to grip his collar, he couldn't live without the king . . . but he needed to be free. He needed it.

The king had said that he was only here to get better, did that mean that once he was healthy he could leave? But what if he never got better? What if he was never healthy enough to leave? Would the king make him stay forever? No, no he wouldn't . . . he couldn't. Not after he'd had a taste of freedom, however short it had been. The trips would be enough for now but not if he was going to stay here forever. He could be content with what he had, he could wait for true freedom to be given to him if he knew for certain it would be his.

But as long as he wore this collar freedom was not guaranteed. He was still at the doctor's mercy no matter the king's intentions. What if the doctor didn't let him leave either? The doctor was only helping him for his own goals. If those fell through who knew what the doctor would do. Gaster knew that the king barely had the doctor in line as it was.

But even if everything else worked out, no matter how good everything else got . . . he wouldn't be able to stop fighting to be free. He hoped beyond anything else that he could truly rely on his freedom to be given to him. If he was forced to choose between the king and being free . . . he didn't know if he could live with loosing either.

Gaster tried to quiet his thoughts, tried to slow the rapid beating of his soul as he took deep even breaths. Things would just continue as they had been. He had already been prepared to wait years for freedom long before he had met the king. Surely with the pace he was making progress at he would be far healthier than he was now long before then. The king wouldn't make him stay if he got healthy.

The more Gaster thought about it the more he was sure. More likely than anything else one day he would leave this place with the king and never have to come back. He calmed as he took comfort in that thought. The king was his family, the king wouldn't leave him here.

But Gaster wouldn't stop collecting syringes as he waited. He couldn't even if he wanted to.


	27. Partial peace

He pushed himself to move faster.

The weeks seemed to slip by easily for Gaster now that his life had settled into a pleasant routine. The king was able to visit him most days and sometimes they would leave the lab to spend a few hours at the king's home. The trips didn't happen as often as Gaster would have liked them to but they were a little longer each time he left. He had lessons with the king most days and he still learned more and more uncommon signs from Cadis. Sidd was around Gaster now more often than any of the other assistants and would even sit in during some of Gaster's sessions with the doctor. In his early days Gaster never could have imagined so much time passing him by so uneventfully and peacefully.

Gaster could still barely believe how easily he jogged on the treadmill, his breathing was fast but his soul barely strained as it beat quickly yet strongly in his rib-cage. He pushed himself a little more as he approached the new edge of his ability after his latest alignment bath. He usually had one or two of them a week now and he was getting steadily stronger all the time. He didn't do tests very often anymore but when he did he would push himself to do a little better than he thought he could, be a little better than he thought he would be. If he could push himself to be just a little bit better a little bit faster than he would otherwise be, then that was another way that he could fight for his freedom.

The strain was starting to become uncomfortable but Gaster pushed himself into a quick sprint for a few moments before he slowed down again. He slowed all the way to a quick walk and he took in deep gulping breaths as the exhilaration of reaching a new speed left him grinning widely. He slid somewhat unsteadily off the back of the treadmill once his breathing was more under control and his soul was no longer hammering it's protest against his ribs.

Gaster was bent over slightly as he still took in deep breaths but he grinned widely as the king approached him. "That was very well done young one," the king gave Gaster a praising smile as he placed a hand on Gaster's shoulder, "but you must be careful not to push yourself too far, alright?"

Gaster gave a nod to the king's concern as he straightened. He wouldn't stop pushing himself but he was careful, he hadn't gone too far yet.

"Would you like to rest for a little before we move on?"

' _No, I'm good._ ' Stretches were next and they were relatively easy to do, he still preferred to get the tests done as quickly as possible.

"Alright, if you're feeling up to it young one."

Gaster gave the king a nod as he moved over to the clear area of the floor to start. He knew what stretches to begin with by now without the doctor telling him so he started before the doctor could come over to give him orders. The doctor moved away from the monitor that was tracking Gaster's progress to stand beside the king and watch him. The doctor only gave Gaster orders occasionally when he was too slow or quick when switching between stretches.

Despite still being warmed up by moving to do the stretches right away Gaster's joints began to resist the increased range of movement that he was putting them through. He frowned slightly as he tried to ease them into the movements slower but that only helped a little, the doctor tapped his foot impatiently as Gaster slowed his pace. When he moved his joints weren't stiff, they shouldn't be with how much energy he had right now. But there was an odd resistance to them as he stretched that he wasn't used to.

"Stop." Gaster was a little startled to be interrupted by the doctor. He straightened as the doctor approached him, stiffening as the doctor grabbed his arm. As always the doctor's hands were firm but not painfully so as he turned and examined bones, testing the joint at Gaster's wrist with the care one would use not to break an uncooperative object. Gaster did his best to ignore the feel of the doctor's hands on him but there was a tension in his frame that he couldn't help even if he wanted to.

"What is it Drake?"

The doctor let out a sigh as he released Gaster's arm, muttering under his breath as he pulled a tape measure from his pocket. Gaster took his arm back and resisted the urge to hold it close to his chest, instead setting his jaw and giving the doctor a slight glare even if the doctor wouldn't see it.

The doctor dropped the end of the measure and held it up next to Gaster's head, eyeing it before lifting Gaster's arms up to measure them as well. Gaster let the doctor measure him, taking the moment to look at the doctor's height compared to his own. He had noticed he'd gotten taller, but he hadn't really realized by how much. He generally preferred to just ignore the doctor when he got this close. Gaster was at least a few inches taller than when he had first met the king, he was only a little more than half a head shorter than the doctor now.

"Drake?" The king placed a hand on the doctor's shoulder, "what is it?"

The doctor gave the king a displeased look at being interrupted but he returned the tape measure to his pocket anyway. "The subject has been growing at an accelerated rate."

The king released the doctor's shoulder, "that is a good thing, is it not?"

The doctor pulled a radio from his pocket. "Not if the suspension wires are put under too much tension."

Gaster did pull his arm up to his chest at that, staring down at it and carefully flexing his fingers.

"What do you mean Drake?" The king's voice had an edge to it, "I assume you have a solution to this."

The doctor gave the king a slightly offended look, "of course I do." The doctor brought the radio up to his face, "someone find me Sidd."

After a few moments the radio gave a staticy answer, "uh . . . which Sidd?"

"There is only one Sidd," the doctor snapped into the radio, "stop wasting my time and someone find him now." Multiple hurried and panicked 'yes sirs' and 'right aways' slipped out of the radio before it went silent again.

The king placed a hand on Gaster's shoulder, his thumb gently running back and forth soothingly. Gaster leaned into the touch. "Would you care to explain Drake?"

The doctor turned from staring impatiently at the radio to the king, "the wires will stretch and lengthen as the subject grows, however it is growing faster than anticipated. They will require some altering to ensure that they aren't stressed to the point of damage."

Gaster tensed a little at that, before the king could respond Sidd's voice came through the radio. "Doctor Drake."

"Sidd I need you to gather your tools," the doctor took in a deep breath before letting out a sigh. "I need you back on the project."

The doctor stared at the radio with a sour expression for more than a few long moments before there was a response, "really?"

"Yes really. Now will you do it?" The doctor tapped his foot as he waited for a response. And waited. And waited.

The doctor was glaring at the radio by the time a response came. "In writing."

The doctor let out a deep exasperated sigh, "what in writing Sidd?"

The response was far quicker than anticipated, "officially on the project. I won't be demoted on technicality this time."

"The king himself will sign off on it," the doctor glanced at the king, who gave a nod after a moment. "Now get your things together and find me at the testing range when you're done." The doctor didn't wait for a response before pocketing the radio.

The king's voice was stern, "Drake you should have informed me of the need for this earlier."

"I did not believe it would be necessary before now." The doctor did not pause in gathering up his things, "besides it is a simple quick procedure, there is no need for such fuss."

"This does not sound like a simple thing, it will not be painful for him will it?" The king gave Gaster's shoulder a gentle squeeze.

"Pain medication should have a moderate effect at this point."

"Moderate?" The king did not sound pleased at that.

The doctor gave off another sigh, "yes, something strong will need to be used to counterbalance it's ineffectiveness." He looked up impatiently at the king, "is that all?"

"One more thing," the king spoke before the doctor could head for the door, "why was Sidd removed from the project before?"

The doctor gave the king a sour look, "he asked too many questions." He glanced at Gaster before returning his gaze to the king, "not that it matters now."

After a moment the king gave a nod to that.

The doctor headed for the door before the king could say anything else, "it will take Sidd a while to pull things from storage. We will have enough time to finish the tests beforehand."

The king let out a deep sigh as he held his hand out to Gaster, who took it quickly.

Gaster kept pace with the king and the doctor easily as they walked down the hall. "Will you be alright with doing this today young one?"

Gaster let out a frustrated sigh, it had been a while since the doctor had surprised him with something like this and he disliked having his comfortable routine disturbed. He glanced down at his free hand, flexing it and feeling the slight resistance when he carefully stretched out his fingers. He should have noticed it earlier but he was just so used to ignoring pain that this small discomfort hadn't bothered him. Despite sounding unpleasant this did not sound like something that should wait, ' _yes, today is fine._ '

Once they reached the magic testing range Gaster moved to his mark and waited for the signal to begin. He lifted his hand and cyan light filled his eye-sockets as he took hold of his magic. He sent forward groups of bones at several targets, switching between them at command.

"Stop." Gaster glanced at the doctor in confusion, they had barely started. The doctor eyed him for a moment, "cast without using your hands."

Gaster hesitated a moment before he lowered his arm, he didn't need to use his hand to cast his attacks but it helped him to focus and be more precise. He turned back to the target again, sending attacks forward anew. He was slowed a bit as he was forced to concentrate more without his hand to help him direct his attacks.

The doctor was not pleased with his slowed pace, "faster."

Gaster tried to send them out faster but that threw off his accuracy even more and his attacks scattered erratically.

"Aim," the doctor snapped. Gaster focused on making the attacks hit but that slowed him down again.

"Your majesty?" Gaster turned slightly to see the king move to the door where Sidd waited, the doctor glanced at the two as they started talking before eyeing Gaster.

Gaster edged away as the doctor approached him, "stay." He stiffened still in his movements, "keep going." He knew that the doctor couldn't shock him anymore, he knew this. But when he was in the middle of testing the part of him deep down that still remembered made it hard for him to stop.

He hated how ingrained it still was for him to obey.

"More," Gaster sent a large group of bones toward the target. "More at once." Gaster sent an even larger group forward. "Faster," Gaster threw up his attacks as quickly as he could while still hitting the targets but he was distracted and on edge. It was getting harder and harder to aim so many attacks without using his hand to direct them and he did not like having the doctor this close to him, snapping orders right in his face and correcting him with every other attack. "I said more." Gaster pulled hard at his magic and sent a wave of bones forward. "Pathetic."

He was not. Gaster clenched his jaw tightly as he reached down deep and pulled up as much magic as he could. He could do better. His hands tightened into fists as he threw his arms in the air. Bones erupted from the floor in front of him in large clusters across the entire range, the targets shattered as they were struck. He was not pathetic, he was not.

Gaster shook even more than usual with the rage that burned in his bones as he turned to face the doctor, yellow light flickering in the light blue in his eye-sockets. He took in deep breaths as he bit back the angry tears that he felt. The doctor's soul glowed in unison with his own. The doctor was . . . he was weak. Gaster was stronger than him. Much stronger. He didn't have to listen to the doctor's words, not anymore.

The doctor's smirk faltered slightly as Gaster stared him in the eye.

"Gaster."

Gaster was startled by the king's voice, he turned to look back where the king stood. He sucked in a quick breath when he saw a few bones sticking out of the ground behind him. The king had managed to push Sidd out of danger but he had been struck.

Gaster covered his mouth in shock as he dropped his magic, the attacks dissolving as he did so. He hadn't meant to, he hadn't meant to . . . he had hurt the king.

The king moved toward him with hands up in a soothing gesture but he couldn't keep the tears from his eye-sockets as he took in quick panicked breaths. He had hurt the king. ' _I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,_ ' he quickly gestured.

"It's alright my child, it's alright. I'm fine." The king spoke softly and pulled him into an embrace.

Gaster tried to slow his breathing as he buried his face in the king's robes. ' _I didn't mean to,_ ' he did his best to sign without pulling away.

"It's alright, I know it was an accident." The king ran a hand soothingly up and down his back. Gaster stiffened slightly and looked up in confusion as the king let out a soft warm chuckle. "It really is fine my child, I'm fine." The king gave him a warm smile and placed a hand on his shoulder to give it a reassuring squeeze. "It's alright, we'll just have to start adding magic control to your lessons."

Gaster winced slightly at that and pressed his face back into the king's robes as he let out a deep relieved sigh. He stayed in the king's embrace for a few moments more as he took in another deep breath and let it out again, letting the tension leak out of his bones as he did so.

He hadn't forgotten how strong the king was but it still hurt to know he had hit the king, even by accident. His grip on the king's robes tightened for a moment before he let go, he wasn't used to having to be careful. He had never needed to hold back before. But he never wanted to hurt the king, ever.

The king began gently pulling the sensors from Gaster's bones, "Sidd tells me he is ready for you now."

Gaster ducked his head slightly as he glanced at Sidd, he fiddled with his hands for a few moments before signing hesitantly. ' _Sorry._ '

Sidd only gave Gaster a nod in response.

"Don't worry young one, I will just have to help you learn better control," the king glanced at what remained of the targets before he gave Gaster another warm and reassuring smile. "I knew you would become much stronger as you grew, I am just glad that you are doing so well."

Gaster gave the king a grateful if still hesitant smile in return.

"Drake," the king gave the doctor a sharp look as he took Gaster's hand. "Your presence will not be necessary for this, remain here."

The doctor looked like he was about to argue before the king's gaze hardened. He gave a huff as he turned back toward the monitors.

The king gave Gaster's hand a squeeze as he led him out into the hall. Gaster followed along and he was still a little tense as he walked but he gave the king's hand a firm squeeze in return.


	28. Measured growth

He couldn't help but feel compelled to say he was sorry again.

"I said it was alright young one," the king smiled at Gaster warmly and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze, "there's no need to keep apologizing." Gaster tried not to be too bothered about what had happened but . . . he felt like he did need to keep saying it. The king was so forgiving but sorry just didn't feel like it was enough to show how bad he felt. He leaned slightly against the king as he walked and tried to put it from his mind, if only so he wouldn't keep bothering the king.

His thoughts turned back to the doctor, he had let the doctor get to him again. But this time he had lashed out and the king . . . Gaster let out a sigh, he was more frustrated than angry at this point. Most of the time he could ignore what the doctor said but there were just certain things, certain words that the doctor could say that still bothered him. And the doctor knew it. The doctor would use them to push or prod him to get the results he wanted. Gaster wasn't going to let that happen anymore, he wouldn't give the doctor the satisfaction of winning.

It didn't take Sidd very long to lead them to an empty exam room. Gaster remained at the king's side until Sidd indicated for him to step closer, he moved away from the king slowly to do so. Sidd pulled a tape measure from his pocket and began to measure Gaster, having him move and hold out his arms but not actually touching him. Gaster tried not to think about how much this reminded him of the doctor working on him, he rather liked Sidd and didn't want whatever was going to happen to change that.

When Sidd finished he took a few moments to write down some notes before he gestured for Gaster to sit on the exam table. Gaster hesitated a moment, meeting Sidd's eyes before doing so. He was about the same height as Sidd now but that gaze was no less intense even if he was level with it.

"Sidd," the assistant turned at the king's voice. "I would like you to explain the procedure to him before you begin."

Sidd gave the king a nod before turning back to Gaster. It was a few moments before he spoke, "I'm going to examine your joints first."

Gaster gave a nod to that and waited for Sidd to go on.

"Then I will use these," Sidd pointed to a set of odd looking gloves on the small table next to him. "They focus my magic to alter density."

Gaster eyed the gloves, they were thick and were covered in many small plates that had wires running between them. He let out a tense breath, ' _will it hurt?_ '

Sidd stared at Gaster for a moment before moving over to the cupboards along the wall, pulling out several bottles before finding what he was looking for. He poured a small amount of liquid out into a small paper cup before returning to Gaster.

"What are you giving him?" Rather than answering, Sidd handed the bottle over to the king. The king frowned slightly as he looked at it, "this is very strong."

Sidd handed the small cup to Gaster. "It is a small dose."

Gaster eyed the liquid for a moment before he brought it up to his mouth.

"Don't spit."

Gaster gagged and sputtered out part of the disgustingly bitter medicine as soon as it was in his mouth. After a moment he managed to force himself to swallow most of it, his soul threatening to heave as the taste of it lingered even after it had dissolved.

"Are you alright young one?" The king gave him a pat on the back and Gaster managed to give the king a small nod as he let out a cough. Gaster pulled up the collar of his gown to wipe off the extra liquid that was dripping down his chin.

Sidd took the empty cup from Gaster, he added a little more liquid to it after getting the bottle back from the king. He then offered the cup to Gaster again. Gaster took the cup hesitantly, grimacing at it before trying to swallow it quickly. He only gagged slightly the second time.

"May I see?" Sidd gestured to Gaster's arm.

Gaster tensed slightly as he held his arm out but the gingerbread assistant took it in one hand with a grip far gentler than imagined and placed his fingers and thumb over the top and bottom of Gaster's wrist.

"Bend slowly please." Gaster moved the wrist slowly, feeling barely any resistance from Sidd's hand as he did so. After a moment Sidd removed his hand from the wrist and ran his fingers softly over the back of Gaster's hand and fingers until he held a finger similarly to how he had held Gaster's wrist. "Bend please."

Gaster did as he was asked and the process was repeated with each finger on that hand, then the elbow of the same arm before Sidd moved to Gaster's other arm. Sidd then moved on to test the joints in Gaster's legs and feet.

Gaster watched Sidd as he examined the joints with obvious care and attention to detail. ' _Why you do this? Why not the doctor?_ '

Sidd paused in checking Gaster's ankle to watch him sign, continuing for a short while before answering. "Doctor Drake is not familiar with my work."

Gaster gave Sidd a confused look, ' _what do you mean?_ '

Sidd finished looking at Gaster's foot, his intense gaze moving up to Gaster's face as he straightened before he responded. "I threaded the wires between your bones." Gaster blinked in surprise, he didn't know what to think about that. Before he could think of a response Sidd gestured to his skull. "May I see?"

After a few moments Gaster gave nod. Sidd placed his fingers gently against the sides of Gaster's skull, tracing the ridges and dips in it. Despite the lightness of the touch Gaster couldn't help but stiffen at the contact. He was comfortable with the king's touch and Cadis to an extent but Sidd had never really gotten this close to him before.

Sidd moved near Gaster's eye-sockets, "blink please."

Gaster blinked a few times as Sidd felt the area around his eye-sockets. Sidd then moved to the hinge of his jaw, testing it as Gaster opened and closed his mouth. Gaster couldn't help clenching his jaw as Sidd softly moved fingers over his teeth.

"Stand please." Gaster stood from the table, waiting for a moment before Sidd gestured to his gown. "I must see."

Gaster let out a sigh as he offered his back to the king, who helped him to undo the ties at the back. He let the king take it from him and he remained standing as he looked to Sidd again, stiff framed but he didn't curl in on himself despite how exposed he still felt.

Sidd's gaze seemed to grow even more intense than usual, he stepped forward and gestured to Gaster's sternum, "may I see." Gaster tensed but after a moment he gave a small nod.

Sidd carefully placed his fingers along the seam between Gaster's ribs and sternum, pressing lightly and moving along to test different ribs. Gaster kept a close watch on where Sidd's hands moved to.

Gaster managed to keep his breaths even but he was painfully aware of how obvious the sped up beat of his soul was. He couldn't help tensing more when Sidd's fingers brushed over old scars.

"Deep breath." Gaster took in deep breaths as Sidd told him and moved along his ribs. Gaster flinched slightly as Sidd placed his hand over the middle of his sternum, pressing more firmly than before. "Deep breath." Gaster shuddered as he tried to take in a deep breath but it was hard to breath as his chest tightened at the sickeningly familiar feeling of pressure along that old scar.

It was just Sidd's hand, not anything else. Just a hand, Gaster told himself as he stared down at it. The king's hand found his and he gripped it tightly, focusing on that feeling as he managed to take in a few quick deep breaths before the pressure on his chest lifted.

After a few long moments Gaster lifted his gaze to Sidd's own intense one that watched him. Sidd waited a bit longer before he spoke, "may I see your back now?"

Gaster gave a quick nod to that as he gave the king's hand a tight squeeze. Sidd gave Gaster a nod in return before moving to step around him.

Gaster took in another deep breath to calm himself as he watched Sidd move around him. Sidd softly ran his fingers along Gaster's spine and ribs, having Gaster take more deep breaths. Gaster tensed even more, focusing on the feel of the king's thumb gently running over his knuckles rather than the hands on his back that he couldn't see. He couldn't help but stiffen sharply when Sidd's hands moved to the middle of his back right behind his soul.

It was a little easier once Sidd moved up to his shoulder blades and had him shift his arms to move them. Sidd felt the back of his neck and skull, having him move and turn it. Sidd then moved down to check his spine as he twisted and stretched, testing the shift of his hip bones when he turned.

Sidd's touch was light but Gaster could barely feel his fingers by the time he finished. The king placed a hand on Gaster's shoulder, "careful with your grip young one."

Gaster looked at the king in confusion before his gaze slipped down to his hand that still held the king's. His eye-sockets widened as they saw just how tightly he was gripping the king's hand . . . but he could barely feel the hold. He quickly let the king's hand go as he flexed his own, staring at it before he looked back to the king's hand on his shoulder. He only felt a shadow of the touch.

"It's alright young one," the king moved his free hand to hold the side of Gaster's face, Gaster pressed into the touch far more than he knew he should have to so he could feel it. "The medicine will dull feeling and you may feel drowsy for a while but you will be fine later, I promise." The king gave his shoulder a squeeze but the lack of feeling made it far less reassuring.

Gaster clenched his hands into fists, it was like his bones were wrapped in layers of cloth. He could feel some of the pressure but it was muffled and numbed, he quickly stopped. He was fairly certain that he could crack something right now and not even notice.

"We will begin shortly." Sidd spoke as he looked up from the notes he was writing, gesturing to the exam table, "please sit."

Gaster reluctantly pulled away from the king to climb up onto it, even the feeling of the hard metal surface was distant to him. As he waited he realized that he felt odd, like he was tired but he wasn't. His head felt fuzzy and dull, it reminded him of what it felt like when he was far beyond sleep deprived. His thoughts were slow as he struggled to focus them. He did not like this at all.

"Lay down please." Gaster looked at Sidd, staring at the large gloves he now wore for a moment before glancing to the king with uncertainty.

"I will be right here my child." The king moved to stand next to Gaster, giving him a reassuring smile and his hand a squeeze he could barely feel.

Gaster took in a deep breath as he slowly and stiffly lay down, finding at least a measure comfort in the fact that this table didn't have straps to hold him down. Sidd moved up to the other side of the table, he gestured to Gaster's collar. "I must place a suppression field."

Gaster stared at Sidd for a few long moments before he realized the other was waiting for permission. Gaster gave a quick nod and braced himself as the weight of it settled on him. He was still conscious but his already dulled senses seemed to slip even farther from his reach. His vision blurred some but he could still see the king next to him clearly enough to recognize. He could tell he was holding something but feeling couldn't tell him it was the king's hand, he focused what thought he had left on making sure he didn't tighten his grip when he couldn't tell how hard he was holding on.

"Try to be still." Gaster gave a nod to Sidd's words but he kept his eye-lights focused on the king while that was the best sense he had of him. Gaster felt his other arm suddenly become very heavy, it was a moment before he fought down the instinct to struggle against the weight. He moved his gaze over to Sidd, who was holding his hands in the air just above the arm. Sidd's eye's were glowing a deep dark blue.

Sidd's gaze slid up to Gaster's face for a moment before it returned to the arm, he moved one of his hands to hover over Gaster's hand.

Gaster let out a sharp breath as he felt an abrupt twinge in his hand, tingling pins slid through the center of it as Sidd slowly moved his own hand over it. Gaster clenched his jaw and had to let the king's hand go so that he wouldn't have to spare the thought to focus on not gripping it. There was some relief as Sidd worked his way up to Gaster's wrist where there was fewer wires before skipping up to his elbow.

Sidd moved around the table, trading places with the king to stand by Gaster's other arm to immobilize the limb and repeat the process. Sidd then moved down to Gaster's feet, working through the joints up Gaster's legs. Gaster tried to focus on looking at the king as the pinching tingling sensation traveled through his limbs, it wasn't exactly painful but it felt like it should hurt. It was like his body still knew that this was painful but not all of that message was getting through. It was beyond uncomfortable but he was glad for the feeling, he hated the numbness through his body that deprived him of sensation. This numbness felt far too similar to when his collar was removed.

Sidd moved up to Gaster's skull next, easing the weight of his magic on slower this time. Gaster winced as he felt the tingling crawl through his skull just below the surface, he hadn't realized how many wires were threaded into his head. Especially through his face. "Relax." Gaster pressed his eye-sockets closed and did his best not to tense up as much but it was difficult.

By the time Sidd moved on from his head Gaster knew he was barely clinging to consciousness. Between the medicine making his head fuzzy and the suppression field making it even harder to keep his mind from slipping he had been fighting to stay awake as it was. With the residual sensation of Sidd's magic weaving through his skull he could barely tell that Sidd had kept going and was still traveling down his body with the magic.

Gaster faded in and out at the edge of awareness for a while, coming back a little more once the king scooped him up into his arms. Gaster curled up against him but he still couldn't feel the king. He fought to keep his eye-sockets open so that he could at least see him. It took Gaster a little while to realize that they were done and a part of him was grateful that he wasn't really there for when Sidd had got to be near his soul.

Gaster ran his fingers back and forth over the fabric of the king's robes, craving even the slight sensation of touch it granted him. His head cleared a bit more once the suppression field was lifted, he looked up to see the king looking down at him with concern. He pulled on a slight smile for the king, it grew a little when the king gave him a smile in return.

Gaster didn't like the lack of feeling or the dullness that still clouded his thoughts, he fought to focus his mind but he could feel himself slipping toward sleep again. That would be fine, maybe he would be back to normal by the time he woke up again. The king would take care of him. Gaster let his eye-sockets fall closed and listened to the beat of the king's soul as he was carried away.


	29. Chosen meaning

He was not particularly enjoying the return of feeling at the moment.

Gaster was grateful that the numbness from the medicine was gone and that he could think clearly again, he really was. But he was now painfully aware that there were many, many . . . many small wires running through his hands. And feet. And face. And the thicker ones that were in his elbows and knees. And his spine. His whole spine. He was fine with not moving right now. He would probably be fine with lying in bed for the next few days.

He winced slightly as he let out a deep sigh, he would not be getting back to sleep for a while. Every joint and place where a wire ran through him was sore, his whole body felt like he had been stretched out and pulled apart. He hadn't really realized how tight the wires had gotten until they had been loosened and stretched out. He had turned down more pain medicine though, this ache was tolerable and he preferred it over the numbness. Having less feeling like that, even if he could still move it was just too much like having his collar removed. It felt too much like dying.

Gaster winced again as he shifted a little to get more comfortable, it had been a long while since his body had hurt like this. If he lay still long enough he could feel his magic pulse lightly through his frame as it worked to heal his irritated bones. It was a reassuring feeling, even if he was sore right now he could tell that he was getting better. Whereas before his body had barely been able to keep up with keeping him alive, and he had felt that. He was reminded how very grateful he was that the king had come into his life, the king had saved him in more ways than one.

Gaster couldn't help smiling at that, he loved the king and it always made him feel better to think of him. Gaster tilted his head to the side slightly to glance at the door, the king had promised to come back early today but Gaster wasn't sure when he would get here. When he knew for sure that the king was coming, that was one of the few times that it was hard for him to wait.

He braced himself, sucking in a deep breath and holding it as he slowly began the formidable task of easing himself up. He tensed as he slowly shifted his weight onto his arms before he used them to push himself more upright. He slid back toward the wall, using it as a brace to push himself up more until he was sitting while leaning back against it. He shifted a little to lessen the weight on his spine somewhat before he let his breath out again in a quick huff once he was situated. If the king was going to be coming early today he wanted to be comfortable enough with moving a little by the time he arrived. Gaster could rest again once the king was gone but he didn't want to waste his time with the king by lying about if he could handle being upright for a while.

Gaster flexed his hands and fingers slowly, they weren't too bad right now but he could tell that they would get worse very fast if he used them for the repetitive and quick motions of signing. He glanced over to his notebook on the side table, he was good enough with common now that he could write instead but he wasn't sure if that would be much better for his hands. Maybe if he was slow and light with his writing it wouldn't be too bad.

He stared at his notebook, it was all the way over on the table and he most definitely did not feel like moving to reach it. He let out a slight sigh as he took a hold of his magic, cyan light filling his eye-sockets. He slid his magic around the notebook, lifting it from the table to float it toward himself. He settled it gently in his lap before he let go of his magic again.

Gaster carefully moved to open the book, turning through the pages very slowly as he tried to ease some of the soreness out of his hands. He stopped when he came to the last of the pages he had written on. He took a moment to look over the set of symbols that were scrawled across the page, he had finally completed his symboled alphabet.

He likely could have finished it much sooner but he had taken his time with it, he had wanted it to be just right. Now he just needed a name for it. He let out a humored huff at that thought, he hadn't even thought of a name for himself yet.

He carefully picked up the pencil that he had left in the notebook and slowly eased it to the page to test how well his fingers could handle writing. His fingers cramped up and grew even more irritated immediately, he let out a sigh and dropped the pencil after a few letters. He stared down at the pencil in frustration, he would not be reduced to being unable to communicate again.

Gaster took hold of his magic and slid it around the pencil, picking it up and turning it so that the tip hovered just over the page. He brought it down slowly and attempted the fine movement that was necessary for writing. The pencil moved in large imprecise strokes as he tried to direct it, he concentrated harder trying to make the movements more accurate and light.

The was a loud crack as the previously damaged pencil splintered even more under the weight of his grip. Gaster stared at it with a frown and lightened his hold on it somewhat while still trying to make it move how he wanted it to. He slowed down, trying to write with larger strokes than he normally would have. The letters were very messy and took up a large amount of space on the page but were still mostly legible.

He slowly went through the common alphabet and then his own as he attempted to improve his dexterity while holding the pencil with magic. He tried drawing some simple shapes as well, circles triangles and squares that overlapped and intersected across the page. After a while he was doodling without really noticing, squiggly lines and shapes were scattered across the page.

Gaster wasn't very much for drawing but there was one design that he repeated every once in a while, a messy little shape that was barely distinguishable for what it was supposed to be with how sloppy his movements were. He paused to look at one of them, a little bell shape with stick like wings that stuck out from the sides of it. He glanced back over to the other page with his symbols on it before returning his gaze over to the small doodle of a winged bell. A dingbat.

He furrowed his brow slightly as he looked down at it. His symbols barely resembled the dingbats font anymore but the comparison would always be there, because they were both symboled scripts they could always be seen as similar.

He frowned slightly as he thought, what if he used that comparison to emphasize the differences? Instead of calling his symbols something completely different, have them named something just a step to the side. Similar but clearly not the same? Like Gaster and Aster. Obviously related but also distinctly not the same. Leave the connection in plain sight but have it just different enough that no one would claim that they were the same thing.

Gaster thought for a while, idly twirling the pencil around with his magic as he stared down at the page. Dingbat, similar but different. He traced around the small doodle, making it thoroughly less recognizable as he messily went over it again and again. A winged bell.

Wingdings. He slowly wrote out the word in his symbols, eyeing at how it looked on the page. He rolled the word around in his mind, thinking of how it would sound if someone else said it. He liked the feel of it, it was similar but it was something he had taken and made his own.

Gaster smiled a little as he wrote out his name in his symbols. Gaster in wingdings. He looked down at the page, grinning a little more at the two words on the page. A thought struck him, what if he . . . ? Gaster wrote the two words again closer and more obviously next to each, he stared down at them as they sat side by side.

Wingdings Gaster. He ginned even more as he looked down at the words, it might be a silly way to chose a name but . . . this was his now. This was his name. Both parts were his, one he had chosen and one he had been given. The word Gaster was a little less tainted now that he knew the doctor hadn't chosen it for him and he would not give up something he had taken as his own. These words were his now, they were who he would be.

Gaster wrote them out a few more times, getting a good feel for how they looked on the page even if his writing was barely legible at the moment. There was a knock at the door and Gaster quickly let go of his magic out of habit before the door opened. Gaster gave the king a wide grin as he and Cadis entered.

The king gave him a warm smile in return, "how are you feeling today young one?"

Gaster winced slightly as he shifted a little but managed to keep the smile on his face, his hands twitched a little in his lap but he stopped himself before he signed in answer.

The king gave him a sympathetic look as he moved to kneel next to the bed, "I am sorry to hear that." The king moved to take Gaster's hand before he hesitated, instead gently placing his own hand on top of the blanket over Gaster's leg. "I know that we won't be able to have a proper lesson yet but I thought that you might be interested in learning a little about magic today."

After a moment Gaster gave a small nod to that, he wasn't sure what the king was going to show him but he had mostly been going off of instinct when he used his magic. The doctor had certainly never taught him anything.

The king gave him a nod in return before glancing down at the notebook that still lay open in Gaster's lap, squinting at the doodles and scribbles that were mostly in messy symbols. "What have you been working on young one?"

Gaster grinned more as he gently flipped over to a new page, taking hold of his magic and lifting the pencil to the page. He furrowed his brow in concentration to hold the pencil as steady as he could without putting too much pressure on it. As neatly as possible, which was still rather messy he wrote out Wingdings Gaster in common. Once he was done he let go of his magic and gingerly shifted the book so that the king could have a better look at it.

The king studied the words for a few moments before glancing up to Gaster's face, "Wingdings Gaster?"

Gaster grinned even more as he carefully pointed to himself, barely minding the soreness in his face at the large smile.

"You chose a name for yourself pup?" Cadis gave Gaster a wide smile.

Gaster nodded eagerly to Cadis, wincing slightly as he did so and trying to reign in his enthusiasm but it was difficult. He had a name now, one that he had chosen for himself. It was his and his alone.

The king gave Gaster a warm and tender smile, "I am proud of you my child, Wingdings Gaster."

Gaster couldn't help smiling so wide that it hurt, he wished so much that he could hug the king right now but he resisted. Once he felt better he would give the king the best hug that he could manage.

The king gestured for Cadis to join him on the floor next to the bed, "let us begin." Once Cadis was situated the king went on, "first I will tell you about the different kinds of magic."

Gaster gave a slower nod this time so as not to bother his neck too much.

The king lifted his hand and magical fire appeared in his palm. "Every monster has a basic magic that is unique to their kind, for boss monsters like myself our attacks are fire." The fire dispelled as the king looked up to Gaster, "for you that is bones." The king glanced to Cadis.

"For most dogs it's a bit different, some of us manifest our attacks as barks but many of us need something to help us focus." Cadis pulled a dull looking wooden sword from his belt. "We use weapons to concentrate for better control." Cadis' sword glowed white as he filled it with magic.

Gaster stared at it intently before the light faded.

Cadis gave a sheepish grin before he handed the sword to the king, "most dogs can use cyan magic too, but they usually use white more because it's easier."

The king took the sword, "besides basic attacks there are several kinds of magic that will have similar effects even if they take different forms." The sword glowed cyan, "light blue magic will do you no harm as long as remain still." The light died and after a moment it glowed a bright orange, "orange magic on the other hand must be moved through to prevent it from damaging you."

Gaster lifted his gaze back up to the king's face once the light faded again.

"As I've told you before though, all magic reflects our intent. That is why I am able to make fire that will not burn to touch." The king gave Gaster an intent look, "it is more difficult to control our magic when we are upset or feel threatened. This is what we will need to practice in the future."

Gaster ducked his head slightly as he gave a nod.

The king gave Gaster a reassuring smile, "don't worry young one, every child requires practice to learn how to properly control their magic." The king leaned forward a little, "I will also help you learn how to use your magic without having to hold so much of it at once."

Gaster tilted his head slightly as he gave the king a questioning look.

The king lifted the wooded sword, making it glow orange with magic again but this time the king's eyes glowed orange with it. "You are holding much more of your magic at the ready than you need to, that is why your eyes glow." The king dispersed his magic, "many children do this when they are still learning their magic and I intended to teach you once your health was more stable but with how strong you've grown it cannot wait."

Gaster gave a slow nod to that, he had never really thought about trying to hold less magic at once. He had always been pushed to go as far as his limits would allow, first by the doctor and now by himself. He looked down as he frowned slightly, he could not push himself and hold back at the same time.

"You have yellow magic as well as cyan," Gaster glanced back up as the king spoke. "Have you been able to control it?"

Gaster thought about that for a moment, he had felt that magic only a few times and he had never been able to command it like he could his light blue magic. It had only ever given him strength when he had been desperate for it, even then though it was unreliable at best. He had called on it when he had fought for his life but also when he had needed to get away. And when he had been desperate to prove himself better. He shook his head slightly, he could not use his yellow magic.

The king gave a nod to that, "then Cadis and I will focus on helping you with your cyan magic and general control." Cadis gave a nod as well.

Gaster gave a smile at that, wincing slightly as he shifted to sit more upright again as he had been sliding slowly down the wall.

The king gave him a sympathetic smile, "I think that will do for today my child, we will let you get some more rest now."

After a moment Gaster gave the king a rueful smile and a small nod, as much as he wished to spend time with the king he was definitely starting to feel the pressure on his spine from sitting upright for even the short time that he had.

The king reached forward to gently help Gaster ease back to laying down in the bed, moving the notebook to the side table before tenderly brushing his fingers across the top of Gaster's skull. "Take it easy now my child." After a moment the king leaned down to place a light kiss on Gaster's brow. "Rest well Wingdings."


	30. Glimpsed light

It was a harder day but being with the king made it better.

Gaster leaned against the king slightly as they rode up in the elevator, the hard days didn't happen as often anymore but . . . they still happened. He gave the king's hand a squeeze and the king gently brushed a thumb over his knuckles in return. It was a little easier when he had the king or Cadis or even Sidd to distract him and keep him company. He glanced at the other two as the elevator came to a stop, it definitely helped when he had a chance to leave the lab.

Cadis stepped out and Sidd followed him, the king moved after with Gaster in tow. Gaster focused on the feel of the king's hand holding his as they walked along the path that would lead up the stairs to the king's home, he took in a deep breath as the tension in his soul eased some. He looked up at the king in confusion when they turned to take a different side path. The king looked down at him with a warm smile, "today I am going to show you my garden young one." Gaster found himself returning the king's smile with a small one of his own.

They rounded a corner in the path and passed through an archway, Gaster couldn't help but gasp softly at the sight before him. The stone pathway gave way to checkered tiles and the ceiling arched away far upward, curved and rounded and supported by massive pillars that stood along the hall. Giant painted glass windows lined the walls, light streaming down through them in an odd way that he had never seen before. The entire hall was made of yellows and golds, even the light from the windows was tinted as it shown through and reflected across the floor.

Gaster couldn't stop staring at the way the hall was so open and bright and the light made it seem to almost glow. He had never seen something like this before, something that just made him want to sit and look at it. He liked to look down at the city when he passed it by but that was different, it was a thing that was moving and alive with the people that walked it's streets. This place seemed quiet and still and peaceful by comparison. Shortly though they passed through another archway into a stone corridor like any of the others, he turned to watch the glow of the golden light fade behind them as they continued on.

After a few turns they passed through another smaller doorway that opened up to a small chamber that had green plants and golden flowers coating the floor. Dappled light shown down from gaps in the cavernous unsculpted ceiling, a large elegant throne sat on tile within a small gap in the flowers in the center of the room. The air was light and fresh in a way he had never smelled before.

The king smiled down at him, "the flowers need watering yet today, would you like to help me young one?"

Gaster smiled back and gave a nod to that, the king released his hand and he followed over to the side of the room. The king picked up a watering can that was left by the wall, holding it under a pipe as he pumped a handle at the top of it. Water poured out to fill the container before the king set it down to fill another. Once he was done he carefully handed one to Gaster before showing him how to water the flowers evenly.

Gaster held the watering can carefully so as not to slosh the water out as he mimicked the king's movements. The water was surprisingly heavy but even more surprising was that he was able to carry the large can sized for the king without much difficulty. Even if his hands were still a little sore he was able to support the weight of it.

He slowly walked alongside the king as they sprinkled water across the flowers and grass. The dirt stuck to his feet more as it became moist, he could feel some of it sticking between his toes and slipping into his joints. He tried not to shudder as he stepped more lightly, he would have to wash his feet extra well once he got back to the lab. He had thought about asking the king for shoes earlier and now he was certain that he wanted a pair for when he traveled outside, he didn't mind his feet getting a little dirty but he did not like the dirt getting between his bones.

Gaster did his best to wipe the dirt off on the grass as he walked and he followed the king across the garden, he watched in fascination as various bugs took flight and fled when they grew near. As they moved among the large golden flowers he paused to look at one that was a little taller than the rest.

The king noticed Gaster slow and came over to give the tall flower water, tenderly brushing it's petals as he gave it a somber smile. "This is the first flower, the others grow and wilt with time but this one has remained."

Gaster stared at the flower for a moment before he reached out to give the king's spare hand a squeeze. The king had told him that story.

The king turned to give him a warm and gentle smile, "come my child, there are many more flowers to tend to."

Gaster followed the king around the chamber, watering the plants as they went. Gaster looked at the light shining down from the ceiling and the ivy that clung to the walls and watched the bugs that scattered as they went. He glanced at what was obviously another throne underneath a sheet as they passed it by.

They had to refill the watering cans several times before they finished watering all of the flowers, once they were done the king led him around through the grass again. The king pointed out the different kinds of flowers that were there and the the different kinds of bugs that appeared and scurried away. Gaster liked the butterflies, they danced and twirled through the air before landing among the flowers. He tried to follow them around as they lazily flew away from him, he chased them but didn't try to catch them. He just watched as they flitted along.

Gaster heard the king give off a warm chuckle and he ducked his head slightly as he turned to see the king's amused smile. He went to the king when he was gestured over, "I am going to make some tea young one, while I do you may stay here if you wish."

Gaster hesitated a moment, he fiddled with his hands as he glanced back at the garden before returning his gaze to the king.

The king placed his hand on Gaster's shoulder to give it a squeeze, "I won't be long my child, I promise."

After a few seconds Gaster gave the king a nod, ' _I will stay._ '

The king gave Gaster a quick hug before turning to leave, Gaster watched him go before turning back to the garden. Gaster walked through the flowers, running his fingers slowly over their soft petals as he went. He decided that he very much liked the color gold. He glanced around after a little, Cadis was still leaning against the wall near the entrance and Sidd was sitting in one of the patches of light now that the ground had mostly dried.

Gaster walked over to sit next to Sidd, he saw Cadis move from the wall slightly before hesitating and settling back against it while watching them. Gaster turned slightly and shifted so that Sidd would be between him and Cadis, where Cadis wouldn't be able to see the signs he made clearly. He saw Cadis cross his arms and let out a huff but the dog guard remained where he was.

Sidd turned slightly more toward Gaster, his intense gaze moving to Gaster's face.

Gaster tried to keep his gaze from lingering on the devise attached to Sidd's wrist, ' _why don't you talk as much around the others?_ '

Sidd took a few moments before he responded, "when you say less you see more."

Gaster gave a nod to that, he knew the truth of that all too well. When you didn't speak people ignored you, forgot you were there. They talked about things that they wouldn't normally talk about if they noticed you were listening. You learned things that you didn't even know you wanted to ask about. ' _You talk more to me._ '

"You ask many questions, questions need answers."

Gaster plucked a piece of grass from the ground, twirling it between his fingers before he answered. ' _Want to know things, want to be prepared . . . don't want to be helpless anymore._ '

Sidd gave a nod to that, "you never speak to doctor Drake."

Gaster gave off a huff as he signed tensely, ' _no point. He doesn't see me._ '

After a moment Sidd spoke again, "does that bother you?"

Gaster frowned slightly as he looked down at the blade of grass and he ran his thumb along it's surface. ' _Yes._ ' It didn't dig too deeply at him anymore but it still would have been a lie to say no.

It was strange but he had found that he could be honest with Sidd in a way that it was difficult to be with the king or Cadis. He didn't have to worry about making Sidd hurt by sharing his own hurt. He was glad for the king's sympathy but he didn't want the king to worry over the things that couldn't be changed or that only Gaster himself could deal with. He rubbed absently at his femur, or the things that just . . . were.

A small smile found it's way onto Gaster's face, ' _remember when he wouldn't talk for a week?_ '

"Nine days." Sidd gave a nod in response anyway.

Gaster gave off a humored huff as he shifted where he sat, ' _that was when the king tried to make him call me 'he' instead of 'it'._ '

Sidd cocked his head to the side as he looked at Gaster, "that was why he was in a foul mood?"

' _You should have seen him try to make me do things without speaking or signing, got nothing done all week._ ' Gaster let out a silent laugh, ' _I ignored him. I thought he might explode._ '

Sidd remained silent but Gaster was almost certain he could see a hint of amusement in the gingerbread monster's features.

Gaster's wide smile shrank a little and he looked down as he let out a sigh, ' _had to tell the king it didn't matter though._ ' After a moment he looked back up again, the smile still there if muted. ' _Would never get anything done if I didn't._ '

"You do not act as expected."

Gaster considered that, ' _why did you follow me before?_ ' Sidd still did sometimes but he was more likely to travel with Gaster and Cadis now than to trail behind them.

"I was interested in possible cognitive development. It was an unprecedented existential opportunity."

Gaster watched Sidd's face curiously, waiting for him to go on. Despite the intensity of that gaze it still didn't make him feel like he was less, didn't make him feel like an object. Not like when the doctor looked at him.

Sidd's eyes fell to Gaster's chest, "I did not believe it was possible for a soul to not be alive. That was why doctor Drake removed me from the project." Sidd's gaze returned to Gaster's face, "you are more advanced than expected for the time you have been conscious."

Gaster thought about that for a moment, he hadn't really been alive for very long had he? Not compared to others. He wasn't sure exactly how long it had been now, he had stopped keeping track of the exact number of days that he could remember. It wasn't as important anymore. It wasn't a count of days wronged anymore. ' _How long?_ '

"You gained consciousness seven months ago."

Gaster plucked at the grass as he took that in, ' _you like being specific._ '

"Precision is necessary to avoid mistakes."

Gaster gave a small nod to that before he glanced at his arm, after a few moments he pushed up the sleeve of his sweater enough to see the thin cracks in his forearm. He was about to ask how old they had been but that number wouldn't really mean anything to him. ' _How long ago did they die?_ '

Sidd's gaze fell to the fractures when Gaster rolled up his sleeve, "Ninety-two years ago."

That was an eternity to him, Gaster absently ran a thumb along one of the cracks in his face. It shouldn't really make a difference how long ago it was but . . . it made him feel a little better knowing that. It made it feel more distant. He glanced back up at Sidd again, ' _did it bother you to put the wires in?_ '

Sidd shook his head, "they were dead."

Gaster frowned a little as he gave a small nod to that, they were dead but they weren't gone. They were trapped in the lab even more surely than he was, and they had been there for much longer than he had. ' _Why does being near the soul feel like that?_ '

"It began giving off radiant energy seven months ago."

Gaster looked down again, so it was because of him then. He didn't really want to think about what that might mean. ' _Why put wires in?_ '

"To keep the bones in a stable form."

Gaster frowned slightly at that, ' _but why like this?_ ' He lifted his hand to flex his fingers a few times.

Sidd's stare shifted from Gaster's hand back to his face before answering, "doctor Aster was specific the design be functional."

Gaster gave a nod to that, he should probably be grateful for it and in a way he was but . . . it wasn't a gift that was meant for him. He met Sidd's gaze, searching those intense eyes for long moments before he signed. ' _Do you think I'm Aster?_ '

He almost regretted asking it as soon as he made the gestures. He wasn't sure if he was asking to know what Sidd thought of him, or if he was hoping to hear the words he wanted to hear from someone who would give him an answer that wasn't skewed by how it might effect him. At times that sliver of a doubt that remained still dug at him.

Gaster tensed slightly as he watched Sidd's intense gaze focus intently on his face before sweeping down, lingering on his collar and his chest for long moments before moving up again. Sidd waited a long time before he answered. "No, you are not doctor Aster."

Gaster slowly let out the breath he had been holding. He hesitated for a few seconds but asked anyway, ' _why not?_ '

Sidd's gaze remained locked on Gaster's eye-lights as he answered, "Aster would have killed Drake by now."

Gaster's breath caught at those words, that was not the answer he had expected at all. He blinked a few times as he tried to think of some way to respond to that but his mind went blank as he searched for something to say. He didn't even notice the king until the light darkened under the king's shadow.

Gaster glanced up as the king knelt to place the tray of tea on the ground, the king and Cadis settling on the other side of it. The king's face grew slightly concerned as he looked at Gaster, "are you alright young one?"

Gaster managed to give the king a small smile and a nod but he didn't trust his hands to sign smoothly right away. He waited a little for the tension to ease out of his frame before he took a cup of tea for himself. He tried to concentrate on the warm reassuring feeling of energy trickling slowly yet steadily into his soul, but his thoughts kept returning to what Sidd had said.

He couldn't really wrap his mind around the words. He hated the doctor, but that was different. That was very different. His hands tightened around the teacup that he held and he had to stop himself quickly before he cracked it.

Gaster took in a deep breath before he took another sip of tea, he wasn't sure why those words bothered him so. Perhaps it was because of how easy it had become for the doctor to get to him. He needed to not care what the doctor said, needed to ignore him. If he didn't care it would hurt less.

Gaster drummed his fingers against the side of the cup, he wouldn't let the doctor get the better of him anymore. He needed to prove that he could handle whatever the doctor did now, even if only to himself. But the doctor almost always held back when the king was around . . . the doctor still complained about being unable to do scans every day because the king wasn't always there.

He glanced up at the king, putting down the teacup and fiddling with his hands for a moment before he signed. ' _I want the doctor to do scans every day._ '

The king frowned slightly as he watched Gaster sign, there was a sadness in his eyes as he answered. "I'm sorry but I cannot make it there for you every day my child."

Gaster nodded quickly to that without completely meeting the king's gaze, ' _I know. Just scans, not tests. I can do it with Cadis or Sidd there._ ' One of them would be enough of a buffer to keep the doctor from doing anything too terrible, but he would still push more than usual. And it would just be scans, it would be easier for Gaster to hold his ground than with tests.

"Wingdings . . . " the king sounded uncertain.

"You don't have to do that pup," Cadis looked at him with concern.

' _Want to get better faster,_ ' that was true but it wasn't the only reason. He needed to prove that the doctor couldn't hurt him anymore, he had endured everything the doctor had done to him and he was still alive. He needed to prove that his resolve was stronger. He would not let the doctor win.

The king must have seen some of the determination that Gaster felt, his gaze softened as he reached forward to give Gaster's hand a squeeze. "Alright my child, if you are feeling up to it. But if you change your mind please don't hesitate to tell me, there is no shame in needing support."

Gaster gave quick nod to that, but he would not back down from this. This was something he had to do on his own.

The king gave a reassuring smile before he stood, motioning for Gaster to follow him. "There is one more thing that I wanted to show you today my child."

Gaster stood, taking the king's hand to walk with him toward the back of the chamber. They passed through the doorway, walking along a smaller tunnel that was carved from the rock. After a short distance and a few turns they stopped, Gaster stared at the glowing wall that stood before them. He reached out to place his hand against it, he could feel the incredible hum of energy that pulsed through it as it shimmered.

"This is the barrier, but that is not what I wanted to show you." The king looked down to give Gaster a smile. "I wanted to show you the sunlight." Gaster followed the king's gaze as he looked back down the tunnel, long rays of light stretched away from the barrier to illuminate the rock behind them. "You cannot see the sun but at this time of day it is in just the right place to shine down this tunnel."

Gaster looked down at himself, the soft light that shone through to rest on him was warm and pleasant.

"There are a few places that glimpses of it can still shine through, my garden is one of them." The king turned back to the barrier, smiling at the warmth of the light. "But this is the place that it can shine through the brightest."

Gaster saw the longing in the king's eyes, ' _do you miss the surface?_ '

The king watched Gaster sign, waiting a few long moments before he answered. "I do, but . . . the underground has become a good place live." The king gave Gaster a tender smile, "it is a good place to have a family."

Gaster gave the king a warm smile in return.

The king gave a soft sigh as his thumb rubbed softly over the back of Gaster's knuckles, "I wish so that I could share you with my wife young one."

Gaster could see the king's eyes fill with memory, but he was still smiling. ' _You miss her._ ' It wasn't really a question.

The king gave a gentle nod to that, "I do, but I do not begrudge her the choice she made." The king's smile grew more solemn, "but as the king it is my duty to put the good of my people above myself." The king cast his eyes to the ground, "I have not always done well in that."

Gaster frowned a little as he thought, he gave the king's hand a slight tug to draw his attention. ' _Then why did you save me?_ '

"That is not what I meant my child." The king paused, his concerned features softening as he took in Gaster's gaze.

There was no hurt in it, just the desire to know.

The king let out a soft sigh before he answered, "the humans know that we reside here. If they choose to come here, for whatever reason, they choose to face us. You were never given that choice."

Gaster turned his gaze down for a moment as he thought about that, ' _what if they are children?_ ' The last two had been.

The king placed his hand on Gaster's shoulder to give it a squeeze, "then my wife will watch over them as she did the last. She would never allow a child to face this mountain."

Gaster gave a small nod to that.

The king lifted his hand to brush his fingers softly over Gaster's skull. "Come my child, we should be spending our time among the flowers, not in this tunnel."

Gaster returned the king's warm smile with one of his own, he took the king's hand and followed as he was led back into the garden. He looked up at the sunlight that streamed down through the cracks in the rock and breathed in the air that was fresh with the scents of flowers. It was all the sweeter for having the king there with him. His smile widened as he looked up at the king who gave him a broad smile in return.


	31. Standing ground

He was determined not to let the doctor get to him today

Today would be the first time that Gaster would be doing a scan without the king to be there with him. Strangely though he didn't really feel that nervous as he walked beside Cadis and they followed Sidd to the monitoring room. He knew that the doctor would try to push him but he was ready. Once they arrived he followed Sidd into the room without hesitating.

The doctor turned from looking over his papers to eye the other three as they entered. Gaster stood straight and kept his eye-lights level on the doctor as that gaze slid over him, an indifferent gaze that somehow still gave the impression of searching for a weaknesses or opportunity to exploit. Gaster would give the doctor nothing new to work with today, he was good at bluffing and keeping a straight face when playing cards. This was just a game with higher stakes.

Cadis placed a hand on Gaster's shoulder, "are you sure you want to do this pup?" Gaster gave a quick nod to that, there was no backing down now.

"Has the king finally decided that he does not need to watch over my every move?" The doctor stepped forward to stand directly in front of Gaster, "we have much to do today."

Even if the doctor stood in front of him, Gaster could still see that gaze pass right through him. He just stared back at the doctor.

"You're only allowed to do scans Drake, not tests."

The doctor turned his sharpened gaze to Cadis, "you will call me doctor Drake."

Cadis shuffled his feet while under the doctor's eyes but he didn't back down. "No tests."

The doctor let out a soft snort, "I am aware of that." The doctor gestured to the exam table without looking at Gaster, "up."

Gaster didn't move for a moment, he waited until the doctor's impatient gaze turned to him before he walked over to the table. He climbed up onto it and waited as the doctor brought over the container of sensors, sitting stiffly but still as the doctor attached them to his bones.

The doctor moved away to the monitor once all of the sensors were set. Sidd's intense gaze lingered on Gaster for a moment before he walked over to watch it as well while the scan went through.

Gaster didn't let his guard down but he didn't tense up either, he just sat and waited for whatever was to come. He knew that the doctor would not let this opportunity pass by.

The doctor did several scans before he walked back over to Gaster, he added more sensors before returning to the monitor again. The doctor did this several times, running a few scans then coming back to add more and more sensors to Gaster's bones. The scans got longer as more and more sensors were attached to Gaster so that there was nearly one on every bone.

Gaster watched what he could see of the screens as the machines collected data. He didn't know how to read most of it but it seemed to be more steady than it used to, and whenever the colored image shaped like his silhouette appeared on the screens it was now mostly yellow with splotches of green and barely any red in it.

With time Cadis moved to lean against the wall near the door while Sidd and the doctor stood watching the information on the screen slowly scroll by. The doctor tapped his foot as he looked at it, walking back over to Gaster after a while.

Gaster stiffened when the doctor pushed the side of his gown away to reach into his rib-cage, placing several sensors on his soul. He swallowed thickly as the feeling of pressure on his soul started to make him feel nauseous. The doctor took longer than necessary before leaving, his piercing gaze lingering as he did.

Gaster took in steady even breaths and gave nothing away, keeping his expression carefully neutral as he followed the doctor's movements with his eye-lights. He waited while the doctor did scan after scan after scan.

Gaster was not bothered in the slightest as the minutes ticked away to become hours. This is not how he would have chosen to spend his time but it was the least of the things that the doctor could do to him. In his early days with the doctor when he had spent the whole day in this room, those were the the days he had looked forward to. The doctor would not win in a test of patience.

Gaster kept the ease he felt from his face, it was just as important to keep it a secret when you had a good hand as when you had a bad one.

Every once in while the doctor would make a small comment to Sidd, little things that weren't actually meant to be responded to. Things that were clearly mean to rile Gaster.

"It's a shame that the king doesn't deem the project important enough to be here." That wouldn't work, Gaster knew that the king loved him. The king was with him as often as he could be. "You will be still." Gaster wasn't moving any more than his shaking made him. "The subject has grown slow if it cannot understand such basic commands." The doctor didn't know him. The doctor only saw what he wanted to see.

Still, Gaster was grateful that Sidd never responded to anything that the doctor said. He was also glad that the doctor had decided to ignore the fact that he had chosen a name. He was sure that it would have sounded an insult on the doctor's tongue.

The doctor's impatience clearly grew as time went by, tapping his foot as he watched with an irritated expression as the data steadily scrolled across the screen.

"Stand." The doctor gave the command before he even began walking toward Gaster.

Gaster remained sitting as the doctor crossed the floor, watching the irritation build in the doctor's features as he stood there and was forced to wait. After a moment Gaster did as he was told, watching the doctor carefully as the other stepped around him. He stiffened sharply as he felt the doctor turn his collar, the weight of the suppression field settling on his bones. He tensed even more as the ties at the back of his gown started to come loose. He knew there was no reason to need to remove it for a scan. His mind instantly jumped to memories of the surgery room.

Without meaning to Gaster tried to take hold of his magic but it was beyond his reach as he felt the doctor's hands undo the ties of his gown. He pushed those thoughts down immediately, smothering the panic that tried to surface. There would only be scans today. Only scans, nothing else. The doctor would never touch him with that saw again. He wasn't helpless anymore. He wasn't alone anymore.

Gaster kept his eye-lights forward and stood stiffly as the gown slipped from his frame, he resisted the urge to clutch it to his chest and he let it fall to the floor. He kept his face as still as he could but the increased beat of his soul and jumping of the data on the monitors gave him away. Gaster could see the satisfaction in the doctor's eyes as he walked away to watch the new data.

Cadis moved away from the wall but Gaster gestured for him to stay. Cadis watched him with uncertainty for a few moments before slowly settling back against the wall, remaining but keeping a close eye on Gaster.

Gaster moved to sit back on the exam table, sitting up straight and stiff to avoid hunching his shoulders and curling in on himself. He clenched his jaw as he focused on his breathing, deep breath in, slow breath out. He could endure anything that the doctor did to him. Deep breath in, slow breath out. He would take this moment by moment, inch by inch. The fast beat of his soul slowed some. He would not give up. The beat steadied a little more. He could outlast the doctor in this.

Sit up straight. Breath even. Don't grasp his femur. Don't grip his collar. Give the doctor nothing.

The jumping data on the monitor slowly evened out but it wasn't the same as it was before, it was still fast and energetic as it slid across the screen. The doctor eyed it with an incredulous look before he turned his gaze back to Gaster.

Gaster stared the doctor down. He sat up straight and was no longer stiff, his hands were curled into loose fists in his lap. He didn't bother to hide the defiant determination he felt as he stared the doctor in the eye.

The doctor grumbled a little as he turned back to the data, watching it closely.

Gaster waited as the scan went on and his desire to best the doctor slowly eased back into a comfortable patience as it came close to time for lights out. The doctor would soon be forced to stop by the winding down of the lab's power if nothing else.

This round felt more like a draw than a win but that was enough. That was all he needed. If he didn't lose any ground, even if he didn't gain any, then that was still a victory. He only had to prove that the doctor couldn't push him anymore.

After not much longer the doctor came over again, pulling the sensors from Gaster's bones with hands that were neither rough nor gentle. Just hands that were handling a potentially mobile object. Once all of the sensors were removed the doctor reached for Gaster's collar to remove the suppression field.

Gaster took in a deep breath once it was lifted, resisting the urge to take hold of his magic now that it was within reach again. He waited for the doctor to move away before he stood from the table. He walked over to where he had left his gown on the floor, reaching down to pick it up and hold it up to his front. Cadis was already moving to come help him with it before he had a chance to ask.

Once it was properly tied on again Gaster glanced back at Sidd and the doctor. Sidd was staring at him while the doctor was busily looking over papers. After a few long moments Sidd gave Gaster a nod, getting a nod in return before turning to look over the papers as well.

Gaster left the room with Cadis following along behind him. He took in deep breaths as he walked. "Are you okay pup?"

Gaster gave Cadis a nod and he managed a small smile. It hadn't been that bad, he just needed some time to wind down. He needed to walk for a bit to burn off his leftover energy and still his mind. He paused for a moment as the lights in the hall dimmed as the power wound down in the lab's walls.

The lights were much dimmer but there was still enough light left to see by. Gaster kept walking but not directly toward his room, he took a longer more out of the way path than he needed to. Cadis didn't question him as he took a more roundabout way back, he often walked around for a while before he went to sleep lately.

It didn't take Gaster very long to relax again. He let his mind clear some as he listened to his footsteps echo softly off of the quiet dark empty halls of the lab. He smiled faintly to himself, he had taken a step forward. It was a small one, but it was one he had been able to take by himself.


	32. Deeper Cut

He was having a bad day.

Gaster gripped at his femur hard but it didn't sting, he hadn't made a mark in a long while and those that were there were well healed. He hadn't felt the need to this strongly in a while, and the king just seemed so happy when he managed to refrain. He could usually distract himself but the king wasn't here to hold him today, Cadis wasn't here to talk to today and he couldn't walk around to tire himself out. There was just too much energy in his body for him to easily walk to true exhaustion anymore and with how long it would take he would likely run into the doctor at some point, and he couldn't handle that right now. He reached up to grip at his collar, maybe he could spend his energy faster by using his magic.

He summoned a row of bones in the air, it took more energy to cast them in the air. He summoned white ones and blue ones, dancing them in complicated patterns. He summoned them and quickly dispersed them before summoning more, he summoned so many that he couldn't hold them all up. He stopped, this wasn't working. He dispersed them, curling in on himself a little as he gripped at his femur again. Why did he still feel like this? Things were so good now, they were so much better than they had ever been before. So why did this still happen, why did it still hurt inside?

He summoned a single attack in his other hand to have something he grip harder without fear of breaking his leg. His grasp tightened around it and it quickly cracked, splintering along it's length the end of it fell away and dissipated. He stared at the jagged edge that was left behind, trying to focus on something that wasn't in his head. He hunched over more, rocking as he watched it.

He breathed in sharply and dropped it, it dissolved as he turned his hand to look at where the splintered bone had nicked him. He brought his other hand up and pressed his thumb into the small scrape, it stung only slightly. He stared at the tiny mark for a moment before he summoned another attack in his hand. This one was small and thin, it had a tapered sharp edge to it. It looked a lot like a scalpel.

Gaster stared at the attack in his hand for a long time, he tried to clamp down on the tension he felt in soul. He didn't need it, he had the king. But the king wasn't here right now. He didn't need it, he had Cadis. But the Cadis wasn't here right now. He glanced at the door, silently wishing that someone would come through it.

But nobody came.

The tension wouldn't go away. It wouldn't stop. It wouldn't stop. It wouldn't stop. It wouldn't stop . . . the pressure in his chest was agony.

He needed it to stop. He needed this. Gaster rolled up his pant-leg to expose his femur, he brought the attack down to his leg.

There was a knock at the door, Gaster slipped. The pain hit him before he realized what had happened. He took in a shocked breath as he dropped his already dissipating attack, he quickly clamped his palm over his leg in an effort to slow the flow of liquid magic.

"Hey kid, I was thinking that- " the captain stepped into the room, "dammit what happened!?"

Gaster hunched over his leg, he grit his teeth hard as liquid magic from the wound slid between his fingers.

The captain barked quickly at the other guard outside, "Carl! Get someone who can help the kid! First aid in room fifty-four, go!"

The captain quickly came over to Gaster, he gave Gaster's shoulder a squeeze as he bent down to take in the damage. "Dammit. Keep pressure on it kid." He looked to the side, eyeing the shard of bone that lay on the bed that hadn't dusted. He picked it up before he slid his arms under the rattling skeleton. "This might hurt kid, but keep holding on tight, okay?" He didn't wait for a response before scooping Gaster up.

Gaster breathed in sharply, tears slipped from his tightly closed eye-sockets but he managed to keep his hand pressed down. His free hand reached out wildly to grab ahold of part of the captain's armor. He gripped the plate of metal tightly, the edge of it biting into his fingers with the pressure.

He didn't really pay attention to where they were going, he was too busy grappling with the pain in his leg and trying to fight off the shadows that crept into the edges of his vision. When he was placed on the exam table he flopped back hard against the surface, the sound of the impact reverberated loudly. He panted deeply as he tried to focus on the sting in the back of his skull instead of the deep throb in his leg.

The other guard entered the room, quickly followed by the doctor. Perfect. The doctor rushed over to the far counter, retrieving a first aid kit and running back to the table. Gaster resisted the urge to lash out as the doctor pried his hand from his leg. The doctor frowned deeply as he pushed the hand back over the wound. "Do you have the bone shard?"

"Right here." The captain held it out to the doctor.

The doctor took it, "hold it's shoulders and legs down."

The guards moved to hold him down, they used force as he resisted. Gaster's hand slipped from his leg as they pinned him down, the doctor quickly gripped his leg. Gaster's jaws opened in a silent scream and he struggled not to thrash as the doctor shoved the chunk of bone back into his wound. The doctor smeared paste over the wound, stanching the flow of liquid magic. Then he quickly pressed gauze over it, wrapping it up tightly in dressing.

Gaster grit his teeth and pressed his eye-sockets closed as the doctor finished, his fingers curling into tight fists as he breathed sharply through his teeth. Thick tears streamed down his face as he arched and twisted against the pain. The doctor moved up to his chest, pushing a syringe into his catheter. He struggled not to heave the magic right back up from his nauseous soul. The wound throbbed and the paste burned and the tight wrapping stung and he clawed at the table while trying not to throw up or pass out or toss the guards off that still held him down.

The doctor grabbed Gaster's wrist tightly and pressed it against the table, squeezing hard the doctor used his other hand to grab the back of Gaster's and pushed it palm down firmly into the metal surface. Gaster struggled to grasp at the fingertips that held his hand down but the doctor kept them well away from his grip. The doctor kept a painfully tight hold on Gaster's arm and pressed heavily down on his hand. Gaster stopped writhing his body and focused his mind on the crushing grip holding his arm down.

He pulled at his arm, not in an attempt to get away but to try to increase the pressure on it. He jolted his wrist and he focused on the sharp ache in his hand as it took over his senses and drowned out the the other pain and sickness that he felt. His deep heaving breaths slowed as the other pain slowly ebbed from his thoughts and he felt only the pressure of the doctor's hands on him.

After a while the doctor eased up on his grip, slowly releasing Gaster's hand. Gaster winced as feeling rushed back into the numbed limb, pins and needles crawled through his hand as he flexed his digits. Shortly after he felt the dull throb in his leg, the captain gently eased him to sit up as he gingerly shifted it. He felt lightheaded as he rightened and looked down with widened eye-sockets.

A thin puddle of liquid magic lay underneath his leg, there were droplets of bright red floating unmixed within it. Gaster kept his gaze down as the doctor eyed it before carefully inspected the dressing, the doctor didn't look up as he spoke. "Where was it when this happened?"

"In his room." Gaster tried not to flinch at the answer.

The doctor cocked his head slightly, "I see." He waved his hand dismissively, "go find someone to clean the halls and the room."

The captain motioned the other guard to go, he remained and kept his hand on Gaster's back to give him support.

The doctor watched the other guard go before addressing the captain. "Would you mind stepping outside for a moment captain Doge?"

The captain's voice was stern, "we are not to leave the child alone with you doctor, you know that."

"I am aware of your orders captain," the doctor's voice was calm as his gaze flicked up, "but I believe the subject will want what I have to say to remain private."

Gaster shuddered slightly before glancing at the doctor out of the corner of his eye-socket. His gestures were extremely shaky, ' _yes, please._ '

The captain spoke softly, "kid you know I can't do that."

"Just for one minute? One minute at the child's request?"

Gaster gasped softly at that and he looked up quickly, the doctor had never called him anything but a subject before. The fact did not slip past the captain either, he stiffened slightly as he stared the doctor down. "One minute." The doctor inclined his head, "and the door will be cracked open." The doctor gave another nod, even if it was a little stiffer this time. The captain stepped out of the room.

Gaster's gazed dropped to the floor again, he swallowed thickly as he waited for the doctor to speak. The doctor let the silence hang in the air for a few moments before he spoke softly. "Look at me Gaster."

Gaster kept his gaze down.

"I said look at me Gaster," the doctor's hand came up to the bottom of his chin and softly pushed upward. Gaster stiffened but didn't resist the movement.

As his dimmed eye-lights came up to meet the doctor's eyes he saw something that he didn't recognize there. It wasn't anger or indifference, but it wasn't concern either. It was a measuring gaze, one that was trying to judge what it saw to figure out what category it was supposed to fit under. It wasn't a gaze that looked through him, it was one that was trying to see him.

Gaster felt the tears start again, they slid slowly out of his eye-sockets as he held the doctor's gaze and he wondered if this impossible thing could really be happening. The doctor's gaze hardened, but it wasn't as hard as it once was. "You will not do this again, do you understand Gaster?"

Gaster nodded ever so slightly as the doctor let go of his chin.

The doctor stepped away as the captain reentered the room, "finished?"

The doctor gave a nod, "I will be checking on the dressing later." The doctor's gaze turned to take Gaster in again, "you will not remove the bandage."

Gaster gave another nod, his head tilting back toward the floor. The captain came over to ease him from the table, carrying him toward the door. Gaster hung limply in the captain's hold as he clung to the edges of consciousness.

He just let the world fall away, he didn't want to think about anything right now.

Gaster came back a little when the captain set him down on his bed, letting the captain shift him so that he was leaning upright against his pillows. He numbly noted the blanket that the captain pulled up to his chest was a new one. His eye-lights idly followed the captain as he retrieved the chair by the desk, setting it down next to the bed before sitting in it.

Gaster just stared at the captain with half lidded weary sockets.

"I know you're probably tired right now kid but you need to stay awake for a while. Shouldn't sleep right away after a wound like that." The older dog's usually commanding and confident features were crinkled with a sharp attention as he watched Gaster's lack of response. "I'll sit in here a while to keep and eye on you."

Gaster did shift a little at that, his faded eye-lights focusing some on the captain.

"You know if you ever want one of us to keep you company all you gotta do is ask." The captain's voice became gentler, "if you need help, all you gotta do is ask."

Gaster's chest trembled with silent shuddering breaths. He wasn't sure if he was laughing or crying. Maybe it was a bit of both.


	33. Scattered Pieces

It took him a little while to remember what had happened.

Gaster slowly peeled opened his eye-sockets, his frazzled eye-lights taking a few moments to focus on the captain. The numbness from sleep began to melt away as he watched the captain watching him. He shifted a little, feeling his leg throb in protest. He took in deep breaths as he fought down the dread that crept up in his chest. Gaster grasped the edge of the blanket and slowly pulled it up over his head. Shutting out the light. Shutting out his sight of the captain. Shutting out the world.

He just wanted it all to go away. He just wanted to forget. But as hard as he tried to, Gaster couldn't forget. He hadn't meant for that to happen, he had just . . . needed the pain to stop . . . what was wrong with him? How could he hurt so much when nothing was hurting him? It was just him. He was just . . . damaged. He was cracked and crumbling inside and sometimes he just fell apart.

He had thought that it was getting easier to keep the pieces together, that he was getting better. One little mark wouldn't have been much of a slip. But he had slipped far more than he had meant to. He had tried so hard to get better for the king.

The king. The king would see. And the captain knew. The doctor knew. They knew now that he was in pieces inside. What was he going to do?

Gaster's mind looped in circles as he tried to think of a way out of this, a way to escape it. But he couldn't think of one.

There was really no way out of this. No way of hiding it. No escape. They knew and soon the king would know too, if he didn't already. No, the king didn't know yet. If he did he would be here now.

Gaster couldn't help but tense sharply when he heard his door open. There was no knock. He strained to listen, his frozen mind instantly jumping to the thought that the king had come.

"I need to examine the dressing." Tired relief and sickening distress filled Gaster equally at hearing the doctor's voice. This was his room, it belonged to him. It was his one safe place. The doctor couldn't be here.

He heard the captain shift to stand, stepping over to the bed. "Kid you need to come out for a little."

Gaster shook a little more, pulling the blanket tighter around himself. He didn't want to, he didn't want to face this right now.

"Kid please, he needs to make sure you're gonna be alright."

Gaster sucked in a deep breath and held it as he pressed his eye-sockets tightly closed. The doctor did not care if he was alright. The doctor only cared that he was functional. The doctor only did what the king told him to. The doctor did not care. Why couldn't they just leave him alone?

"Kid please . . . I don't wanna have to make you come out."

Gaster shuddered as he held in the silent sob that wanted to climb out of his throat. He didn't want to be here.

But he was . . . and he couldn't escape that. He never could.

Gaster shifted, ever so slowly easing himself to sit upright. He moved his leg gingerly as he kept the blanket pulled tightly around himself like a cloak, hunching under it as it hung down over almost all of his face. He could barely see up to the other's knees as he curled even more in on himself underneath it.

Gaster froze as the doctor walked over to him, pushing aside the blanket bunched up in his lap to uncover the injured leg. The pant leg was still rolled up and the doctor moved it carefully to get a better look at the slightly rumpled bandage.

Gaster kept his gaze down, his eye-lights stiffly following the doctor's hands. He sucked in a sharp breath and winced as the doctor felt at the bandage. After a few moments the doctor reached down to lift up a first aid kit from beside the bed that Gaster hadn't noticed, setting it down on the bed. The doctor opened it, pulling out fresh gauze and dressing.

Gaster tensed as the doctor began unwrapping his leg, it prickled slightly as the tight bandage was undone. The doctor pulled the gauze away, tiny spots of bright red along with dry and dusted magic clung to the fabric. The wound was much smaller than Gaster had thought it was, but it was obvious where the shard of bone had been chipped out and reinserted. It wasn't entirely even along the edges. It was very obvious that even once it was healed it would leave a distinct scar amongst his old ones.

The doctor frowned at it, muttering to himself as he grabbed Gaster's leg with one hand and carefully wiped away the excess dust with a cloth. "The piece is too small to staple into proper placement."

Gaster couldn't help but shudder as he watched the doctor dab at his leg, it stung where it was touched and he could see the crevices in the bone moisten as the dried paste was cleaned away.

The captain moved a little closer, "the kid should be fine right?"

The doctor gave a grunt, "it's healing rate has improved."

"It didn't look that bad, but why did it bleed like that? I thought that the kid was supposed to be more solid."

"Human bones are not completely solid." The doctor's voice took on a lecturing tone as he placed the fresh gauze over the cleaned bone, "they are porous and contain pockets of tissue within them. I will need Sidd to confirm but it appears that liquid magic has pooled within the hollowed cavities of the bones."

Gaster was almost able to relax some as he listened to the other's words. He was almost grateful that they were talking over him, ignoring him. Like he wasn't there. He needed something to anchor him, something normal. Being ignored was normal.

"But what was that red stuff? It wasn't . . . "

"Not blood, the remains are far too old for that." The doctor began tightly wrapping new dressing around the bone.

The captain was silent for a few moments. "Then what is it?"

"I am having it analyzed." The doctor took his time, finishing with the wrapping before pulling out a plastic bag from his pocket. He picked up the old gauze by it's edge to place it inside before stowing the bag back into his pocket. The doctor straightened again, "monitor."

Gaster stiffened again, he heard the command in the word. He didn't want to see them. He didn't want them to see him. He just wanted to hide away and disappear. He clenched his jaw tightly and forced his breathing to stay even if fast as he slowly pulled the blanket off of his head, he kept his gaze firmly down as he did so.

He saw the doctor's hands move up to the side of his neck and felt them shift his collar as the doctor looked at it. He still felt so raw and exposed, he could feel their eyes on him. They could see right through him. They could see that he was broken.

What would the king think of him? He . . . he had to take a chance. It probably wouldn't work, but he had to try. ' _Please don't tell the king._ '

As the silence stretched by Gaster didn't dare look up, if he didn't look at them it was less real. Long moments passed by before the doctor spoke, "look at me."

Oh no, no no no no . . . he couldn't do that, and . . . he hadn't expected the doctor to be the one to answer him.

"Gaster look at me." The doctor's voice was sharp, he was not asking.

With great effort Gaster forced his pinned gaze to shift slightly upward. Then a little more. Then just a little more. With great difficulty he slowly forced his gaze to slide up to the doctor's face. He could barely keep the lights in his eye-sockets.

He felt his chest tighten as the doctor's eyes seemed to pick him apart. But . . . the doctor had read his gestures . . . the doctor had seen his words. "Why shouldn't we?"

Gaster couldn't move, he was frozen under those eyes. Why now? After all this time, after he had silently screamed and cried and struggled and fought. After he had bent and bowed to keep himself from breaking, after he had clawed for every inch of purchase that he could get. After he had all but given up. After everything that had happened. Why did the doctor look at him now? Even if only a fraction. Why did the doctor try to look now? When he was crumbling and falling apart.

' _Hurts him,_ ' was all that Gaster could manage.

The doctor let out a soft snort, turning to the captain.

"Kid . . . " the captain let out a heavy sigh as Gaster forced his gaze to move haltingly to the other, "this isn't something that I can't tell him."

Gaster dropped his gaze, he hadn't really expected them to say yes. The king would see eventually anyway.

The captain let out another sigh as he rubbed at the ridge of his nose, "look kid, if it makes it easier for you I'll let you tell him. Okay?"

Gaster tensed at that, the very idea terrified him. After a few moments he nodded quickly without looking up. It would not make it easier in the slightest, but maybe he could think of a way out of this or at the very least maybe he could make it seem like it was less than it was. It really was small, if he could just walk on it then it wouldn't seem so bad. It was the damage inside that Gaster didn't want to have to admit to. He didn't want the king to see that he still wasn't strong enough to keep himself together on his own.

"Alright then, is there anything you need kid?"

After a few moments Gaster gave a small shake of his head. There were many things he needed, but nothing that the captain would give him.

The doctor packed up the first aid kit, "an assistant will be coming shortly to heal it."

The captain made a frustrated noise, "why didn't you send them sooner?"

"It took some time to find an assistant with veterinary experience."

"A vet? The kid is not an animal."

"It is made primarily of matter, tell me captain do you have any experience with healing a creature not entirely of magic?"

The captain only gave a displeased grunt in response.

"I thought not." The doctor left without another word.

The captain waited a few moments before he spoke. "I don't know how long it'll be before the healer gets here kid. Do you want me to stay here with you? Or do you want me to leave?"

Gaster didn't look up, didn't relax even with the doctor gone. His hands curled into loose fists in his lap, he couldn't make himself meet the captain's eyes again. He didn't want eyes on him right now, he didn't want them to see him damaged. But he didn't want to be alone either. He just wanted to rest.

' _Stay,_ ' he signed in the end. He lay down again and quickly buried himself under his blanket, blocking out the light so that the world would be farther away but he could still hear the captain as the other moved to sit back down in the chair.

Gaster had some time yet before he had to face the king, some time to pick up the pieces. Some time to build himself back up again. He took in deep steady breaths, listening to the quick beat of his soul as he curled in on himself and just let himself be. Ignored the world that lay just beyond his covers. He just lay there and tried to put himself back together again.


	34. Shifting reflection

He was doing better today.

The assistant had come and gone and with a day of rest passed the bone had healed up far more than Gaster had thought it would. He could almost pretend nothing was different as he sat alone on his bed, his thumb gently brushing over the small section of bone that was now slightly uneven. Except he was reminded whenever the captain would poke his head in through the door. Gaster didn't really know how to feel right now, though he certainly felt better than he had before.

He was relieved that the mark no longer looked so terrible and fresh. It wasn't faded yet, but it was now more scar than wound. He felt better but he was still frustrated and anxious and he tensed every time the captain checked on him. And he still had yet to face the king. He knew that he could do better, that he could be better. He shouldn't need this anymore, not with all that he had now. But what if he always did?

Gaster moved his hand away from the new mark, it was starting to ache from him rubbing at it harder than he had meant to. He let out a tense sigh, what if he always needed this? He was fine most days but the hard days still happened. What if no matter how good things got it still wouldn't be enough? What if even when his body was the best that it could be he was never quite whole inside? What if he could never really get better? What if he was always a little broken?

How much of this was because of what he had endured? How much of it was because of how he was made? How much of it was just him? What if it was impossible no matter how hard he tried, no matter how much he wanted to hold it together, no matter how much he didn't want to hurt the king? What if he was just incomplete . . . defective . . . a flawed product. Created intentionally broken. What if the doctor was right?

Gaster clenched his jaw as he took in a deep breath, no the doctor was not right. Not about this, not about anything that was ever important. Gaster could do better, he knew he could. It would just be harder than he had thought it would be.

But what if the others didn't see that? What if they only saw him as broken now? He needed the king to believe in him and somewhere along the line what the others thought of him had become important too. They had become important to him. Not as important as the king but he knew that it would still burn him deeply if they didn't see him anymore. He needed them to see that he was doing better now, that it wasn't always that bad. He needed them to see that he wasn't always in pieces, that most of the time he was alright. He needed them to see him. And he might have messed that up.

Gaster tensed at the knock at the door, it was louder than the soft knocks that the captain had been using. Gaster quickly slid down his pant leg before the door opened, after a few moments the king stepped through it. "How are you feeling today Wingdings?"

Gaster relaxed a little when he heard the warmth in the king's voice. He brought his gaze up from the floor as he gave the king a small smile but he wasn't quite able to meet the king's eyes. ' _Fine._ '

The king walked over to the dresser, pulling out a gown to bring to Gaster. "That is good to hear. Captain Doge tells me that there was something that you wanted to speak to me about?"

Of course he did. Gaster tensed again as he fiddled with his hands and his gaze dropped to the floor again, this was not how it was supposed to go. He didn't want to actually have to draw attention to it, didn't want to have to actually acknowledge it. He had hoped that he would have just put on his gown like usual and then king would have noticed it because it was impossible that the king wouldn't but then hopefully the king wouldn't have said anything since it didn't look so bad anymore.

"What is it young one?" Gaster felt his soul speed up a little at the concern in the king's voice. No no no . . . he didn't want to, but it would be worse if the captain told the king. Then the king would know how bad it had been, but Gaster still couldn't force his hands to make gestures. He didn't want to tell the king that he had been hurting that bad, that he hadn't been strong enough to handle it. He didn't want to hurt the king with this.

Gaster couldn't help but curl in on himself a little as the king knelt beside the bed. The king reached out for Gaster's hand and he took it quickly, the king gave it a gentle squeeze. Gaster's eye-lights lingered on the king's hand as it held his, trying to think about anything else other than admitting to the king that he had fallen apart. "It's alright my child, you don't have to be afraid to tell me anything."

Gaster took in a few deep breaths and with great reluctance pulled his hand back so that he could sign. He stared down at his lap as he tried to work up the courage to actually make his hands move. Gaster felt frozen, he didn't want to go forward but he knew that he couldn't stop. Just get it over with. Just do it.

' _I . . ._ ' I'm broken. ' _I . . . slipped._ '

"What do you mean young one?"

Gaster kept his gaze down as he slowly moved his hand that trembled a little more than normal to rest lightly on top of his leg, his fingers gently rubbed at the fabric just over his marks.

Silence hung in the air for a few moments, "may I see?"

Ever so slowly Gaster gave a small stiff nod, his eye-lights still cast downward as his fingers curled into the fabric of his pant leg and he haltingly pulled it up past the scars. He tried not to shrink away as the king brought a gentle hand to the leg, carefully turning it toward him.

Gaster could barely keep himself from pulling away as the king looked at it, looked at it with eyes that knew even deep wounds could be healed quickly with magic. Looked at him with eyes that could see that the damage was more than could be seen. The king gently pulled Gaster into an embrace, "I am so sorry that I wasn't here for you my child."

Gaster could hear the sorrow in the king's voice, he clenched his jaw as he held in a deep breath and pressed his eye-sockets closed. He curled his fingers into the fabric of the king's robes as he pressed into the king's chest. He trembled a little as the kings arms wrapped around him a little more. He wanted to tell the king that it wasn't his fault. He wanted to tell the king not to feel guilt or pain for this. That it was just him and he was sorry that he hadn't been able to change that.

He took in deep breaths as he listened to the strong steady beat of the king's soul as his own calmed. Listened to the king's warm and tender humming as a large hand gently ran up and down his back. Just focused on this moment, there was nothing beyond here and now as the king held him. Slowly the tension eased out of his frame as some of the pressure in his chest lifted. It was just so much easier when the king was with him.

After a while Gaster pulled away some, he stayed close to the king but he uncurled his hands from the fabric of the king's robes to pull them into his lap. He kept his gaze down as he fiddled with them for a few moments before signing, ' _sorry._ '

"Oh my child, that's not- "

' _Promise I can do better,_ ' Gaster signed quickly, still not looking up. ' _Promise I can do better._ ' If he made it a promise then he would have to, he would have to no matter what.

"My child," the king gently placed a hand against the side of Gaster's skull, his large thumb softly brushing in soothing circles along the side of Gaster's face. Gaster leaned into the touch. "You do not have to carry any burdens on your own. I am here for you and I will always do everything that I can for you. Please my child, do not try to do this by yourself."

Gaster listened to the king's words, he could hear love and sorrow in equal measures in the king's voice. He slowly lifted his gaze up to meet the king's eyes, he could see sadness but also an understanding in those eyes. He let his gaze fall again, reaching out to take the king's free hand with one of his own.

"You must not be afraid to ask for help. Especially when I am not here."

Gaster let out a small sigh at that. How could he ask for help when even he wasn't sure what was wrong? When the only thing he knew was that it hurt but he didn't know why?

The king had seen him fall apart before but that was different. There had always been a reason before. Something had always happened to make him come undone. This was different, it was just him. Falling apart for no reason that he could understand. He didn't want to hurt the king by letting himself be seen like this . . . but maybe he was hurting the king more by trying to hide it.

If the king wanted him to, maybe he could try. When it wasn't so bad just being with the king or talking with Cadis was enough. But if it got really bad again, maybe he could try that. It would be hard, so very hard. But maybe he could try that. He could do that for the king. Gaster gave a small nod as he gave the king's hand a squeeze.

The king pulled him into another embrace, "I love you Wingdings."

Gaster couldn't help the small smile that came to his face at those words, ' _love you too._ ' Gaster signed against the king's chest so that he would feel the gestures.

Gaster felt so relieved as the king held him. He just stayed in the king's embrace for a while, enjoying the closeness of it as the king's hand gently ran up and down his back. He wished that they could just stay like this forever but eventually the king's motions slowed and he pulled away, placing a hand on Gaster's shoulder to give it a squeeze as he did so. Gaster looked up to see the king return his muted smile with a warm one of his own.

The king glanced to the side at the gown that had been left abandoned on the bed before returning his gaze to Gaster. "If you wish we can skip the scan today my child."

Gaster glanced at the gown too, after a few long moments he responded. ' _I can do it._ '

"Are you sure young one?" The king waited for Gaster to look back at him before he continued, concern clear in his eyes. "You do not need to push yourself if you need time to rest."

Gaster gave the king a nod, his small smile growing ever so slightly. ' _I'm good._ ' As tempting as it was for him to just say that he didn't want to go, as much as he just wanted to stay here with the king. He needed to put this behind him, needed to create some distance from it. The routine would help him with that, help to ground him some more. He needed things back to normal. It was just a scan, he could handle that. And he really was feeling better, especially now with the king here.

He slipped off his sweater and pants, holding the gown up to his chest and turning so that the king could help him with the ties in the back. He slid off of the bed, easing weight carefully onto his leg for the first time since it had been injured. There was a deep yet light ache in it as he stood on it but it didn't throb like it had before, it wasn't too painful but he could tell that it wasn't fully healed yet. He was careful not to let himself limp as he took the king's hand and they left his room.

Gaster did his best not to be bothered by the captain's gaze as they walked down the hall. But he wished the captain would stop looking at him, stop watching him like he might fall apart again at any moment. He was doing better now and he needed them to see that. He gave the king's hand a tight squeeze. The captain's eyes lingered on him for a little longer before they moved up to the king. Gaster didn't catch what look the king gave in return but the captain gave a soft grunt in response before his gaze moved forward again. Gaster was relieved when the captain didn't look back again.

Once they arrived Gaster gave the king's hand another squeeze, getting a gentle squeeze from the king in return. He watched the doctor's movements carefully as the lizard monster looked up from going through some papers. He tensed as those eyes looked at him. He had shown a great deal of weakness in front of the doctor, it would be very easy for the other to press into those still healing wounds.

The doctor stared at him for a few moments, glancing at the king before his gaze returned to Gaster. He gestured lazily at the exam table as he looked down at his papers again. There was no command, just the gesture. Gaster stared at the doctor for a few long moments before he released the king's hand to climb up onto the table.

The doctor finished looking through the papers before he moved to retrieve the container of sensors from the far counter, moving to the exam table to begin attaching them to Gaster's bones. As always the doctor's hands were firm but not rough, careful but not gentle. Gaster hesitantly moved his gaze up to the doctor's face, watching it for a moment before the doctor's eyes moved up as well.

Gaster stared back, looking into that gaze searchingly. He didn't know how to read it, what to make of it. It didn't really seem any different than it had been before and yet he was certain that it wasn't the same as it had been.

Gaster broke the gaze as he looked down, the doctor resumed placing sensors without comment. Gaster just focused on keeping his face neutral as he tried to pick apart his jumbled and confused thoughts. Where did things stand now? Had anything really changed or was he just seeing what he wanted to see? The doctor could see him no lower, so had the doctor really . . . ? Gaster felt the ashes of an old hope he had thought long dead stir in his chest before he did his best to bury them. He let out a tense sigh after the doctor had finished and moved away. No matter how hard he had tried to break them, the doctor still had strings tied around his soul.

Gaster tried to put it from his mind as he reached out for the king's hand, relaxing some as the king took it and gently ran a thumb over his knuckles. He looked up to the king, returning the king's warm smile with a small one of his own. What he had now was so much more than he could have ever hoped for.


	35. Power and practice

He nibbled at the chisp he held as he listened to Cadis.

Gaster sat in the lab's small cafeteria, slowly making his was through the bag of chisps that Cadis had gotten for him. Cadis had already finished his food and was now watching Gaster as he ate. " . . . an- and even if it's just small snacks it's good for you to get more comfortable with eating pup." Gaster nodded absently as he watched Cadis' hands sign, preferring to keep his gaze down at the moment. "An- and remember pup, eating will help to make you stronger and it's a good way to keep your health up."

Gaster gave another nod and tried not to stiffen too much as Cadis went on about food being good for healing again. Gaster caught the slight stutter in Cadis' voice and shake in his hands as he went over it again. Cadis didn't say it straight out but Gaster was certain that he knew about what had happened. Gaster was just glad that Cadis hadn't actually said anything about it, wasn't looking at him like he might crumble. Even if the other was going over the use of food for healing for fourth or fifth time.

He tried to pay some attention to what Cadis was saying but most of it went right through his head as chewed small bites of the chisps. He did notice once Cadis eventually stopped though, glancing up to Cadis' searching gaze and slightly nervous smile. "Did you get all that pup?"

Gaster gave him a slight nod and a small smile in return, he had understood the first time that Cadis had explained.

"Oh," Cadis turned in his seat, looking off to the side as a thought seemed to strike him. "What time is it pup?"

Gaster turned to look at the clock on the side wall, Cadis would have a hard time reading it from this distance. ' _Two forty._ ' Gaster signed once Cadis had turned back to him.

"We're late."

Gaster gave Cadis an exasperated look as the dog guard shrugged his shoulders sheepishly.

"Sorry pup." Cadis stood, gesturing for Gaster to follow him. "We'll just have to hurry."

Gaster wiped the crumbs from his fingers on the hem of his sweater as he stood, picking up the now empty bag to toss in the trash as he followed Cadis out of the cafeteria.

They walked quickly down the hall, Gaster picked up the pace a little more and Cadis hurried to keep up with him. They were going to be late to Gaster's magic lesson with the king.

Gaster sped up again, breaking into a quick trot as he glanced back at Cadis. The dog guard kept up with him easily, "you don't have to hurry that much pup."

A slightly devious smile spread across Gaster's face. He wondered how fast he could move normally now, when he wasn't desperate and just wanted to run. He couldn't exactly get a good feel for that while on the treadmill. ' _Bet I can beat you there._ '

Cadis gave a slightly teasing grin to the challenge, "a race?" That was the only signal Gaster needed.

Gaster took off in a quick jog, listening as he heard Cadis speed up behind him. Cadis caught up quickly but didn't pull too far ahead of Gaster, just enough that he was clearly in the lead. Gaster grinned eagerly as he pushed to try to pull ahead again.

They quickly ate up ground as they raced down halls and around corners, speeding past flustered scientists that jumped back out of their path. He and Cadis even had to dodge around a few that hadn't spotted them quickly enough to get out of the way. Gaster couldn't help laughing as the ruffled monsters scolded them as they passed by. His heavy breaths came quicker and quicker as they went, his soul pounded in his chest as he forced himself to keep pace.

Gaster could barely believe what he was capable of now. This wasn't borne of a desperate need, it was just something he was able to do. He couldn't help the giddy energy that surged through him at the freeing feeling of just moving as quickly as he could as he chased after Cadis. There was only a slight ache in his leg but it was easy to ignore. He knew they didn't have far to go, he pushed himself to keep going.

After a few more halls and turns they slowed as they reached the magic testing range, coming to a quick stop just outside the door. Gaster bent forward slightly as he fought to catch his breath, he smiled broadly at Cadis as he made quick gestures, ' _almost won._ '

"You did well pup," Cadis grinned eagerly at Gaster in return as he panted, "you've gotten much faster."

Gaster let out a soft silent laugh as he straightened, his breathing almost even again as his soul beats slowed back to an easier pace. The exhilaration of racing with Cadis slowly wearing off but the excitement of it remained, it was still surprising to him how easy it was to do things that had once been far beyond his ability.

They entered the testing range and Gaster smiled widely as he saw the king. He was still breathing a little quick and the excitement that hadn't faded yet was clear on his face as he trotted over.

"My, my." The king let out a fond chuckle as he smiled warmly down at Gaster, "you seem very excited today my child."

Gaster gave a quick nod as he followed the king over to the testing area, Cadis following over as well. It was much more pleasant to practice his magic with just the king and Cadis.

"Alright, we will start with some warm ups."

Gaster nodded as he took hold of his magic, cyan light filling his eye-sockets. He lifted his hand in front of him and formed bones as the king instructed him, making them grow from the ground and then the walls and then even the ceiling. Then he held a few in the air, doing his best to keep them still and stop them from dipping and sinking toward the ground.

"Now let's see your patterns."

Gaster danced his bones in small groups rhythmically across the floor, varying the sizes and spacing of the bones as they moved. These warm ups weren't too different from how testing with the doctor went except that the king didn't rush him, didn't tell him exactly how his attacks were supposed to be formed. The king gave him advice on the patterns, helped him to find a good balance and pacing. But the king also let him work at his own pace, let him shift the patterns and sequences as he wished to something that felt more natural.

"Alright, now I would like you to try holding less of your magic at the ready young one."

This part was more difficult. Gaster let his attacks disperse and he furrowed his brow in concentration as he tried to let go of some of the magic that he was holding without letting it all slip away. His eye-sockets dimmed slightly as his grip loosened, slowly he let go bit by bit but after a few moments it slipped away from him completely. He let out a huff and tried again, taking his magic in a tight hold again before trying to slowly release some of it.

It took him a few tries, getting a little farther each time before he managed to get to the point where he thought he was holding about half of what he could. He had learned from last time that if he tried to let go of any more than that his attacks would become unstable and difficult to cast. It wasn't that he didn't have enough energy to summon them at that point, it was just at that he would be using most of his concentration to stop himself from automatically trying to reach for more magic.

It felt strange not trying to hold all that he could, like picking up a box to find that it was half as heavy as he had thought it would be. Except the feeling didn't go away even as he continued to hold it.

He understood the reasoning behind it. He had gotten strong, he was stronger than the doctor and even Cadis now. If he acted quickly on instinct without thinking and made a mistake, he would do less harm with less immediate energy to draw on. But it still felt strange to him to hold back.

The cyan light in Gaster's eye-sockets was dimmed but remained as he raised his hand, pushing the magic he held to form bones in front of him. He moved them through the motions and patterns, getting more comfortable if not more familiar with holding less magic. He was slowed as he concentrated but he still continued smoothly.

The king watched him intently as he went through the forms, speaking only after he had gone through them all again. "You are doing well young one, it will get easier with more practice."

Gaster let out a sigh as he let the attacks dissipate, pointing at his eye-sockets before signing. ' _Still glow._ ' Patterns and numbers of bones were relatively easy to control. How to hold different amounts of magic was less so.

"That is expected young one, we have only had a few sessions so far." The king smiled warmly as he placed a hand on Gaster's shoulder to give it a reassuring squeeze. "This is not something that you are supposed to master quickly, it will take time to learn."

Gaster gave a small nod and smile to the king even as he let out a huff. He would more or less have to figure it out himself by feel and instinct. The king had tried to show him but the foreign nature of the king's type of magic made it difficult to follow any examples given. He could understand some of what the king and Cadis did with their light blue magic but it would have been easier if he had someone with the same kind of magic to teach him, which unfortunately was not possible.

"Alright, let us move on to what we went over last time."

Gaster nodded as he watched the king take a few steps away before he returned his attention to the range. The king tossed a slow fireball out over the range in front of him, once it was a short distance away Gaster summoned a bone from the ground to intersect it. Both attacks cancelled out as they connected. The king threw out another and after a few moments Gaster summoned another bone in it's path to catch it.

The king kept throwing out fireballs one at a time, slowly increasing the speed of them as time went on. Gaster payed close attention, doing his best to catch them before they got too far away and sputtered out. He hit more of them than he missed, he had good precision with still targets but adding movement to them as well as having to keep a part of himself concentrating on how much energy he held made it a bit harder to aim.

It got much harder when Cadis joined in, Gaster glanced over as Cadis arranged the long sticks in the tall bucket next to him so that they would be easier to grab. Cadis pulled one out, filling it with magic it glowed brightly as he tossed it forward over the range. The sticks flew much faster than the fireballs did and arced at inconsistent ranges and heights. Gaster was able to hit far fewer of these, most of the sticks that hit the ground still had magic in them before they flicked out to match the once again regular ones that Gaster had managed to catch with his own attacks.

They went on like this for a while, the king throwing out fireballs one at a time and Cadis tossing the occasional stick to throw Gaster off guard. Gaster got a little better toward the end, hitting most of the fireballs and nearly half of the last few sticks.

Without warning the king threw out six quick fireballs at once. Gaster quickly tried to spear them, only managing to graze two of them as the rest escaped. Immediately after Cadis tossed out all of his remaining sticks, Gaster hit none of those.

Gaster frowned as he let go of his magic and turned toward the king, in his surprise he had pulled on more of his magic again before he could stop himself. He had been doing so well at keeping it steady before that, ' _you cheated._ '

"I am sorry my child," the king did not look the least bit sorry, in fact he looked somewhat amused as Gaster crossed his arms and his frown turned partially into a pout. "But there is little else I can do to see how you would react to the unexpected outside of sparing, which we will not be doing for quite some time." The king walked over to place a large hand on Gaster's shoulder, "part of learning to control your magic is being able to keep it in check when you are surprised." There was a look of mischief in the king's eyes as he spoke. "I'm afraid this will not be the last time that I do something to startle you while we practice."

Gaster's frown deepened a little but the king scooped him up quickly before he had a chance to respond. Gaster wriggled in the king's hold for a moment before he gave up trying to escape as the king let out a warm chuckle. He half jokingly sulked as he lay in the king's arms, crossing his own arms again while he tried and failed to suppress a smile as he attempted to glare seriously at the king.

' _You still cheated._ ' There had never technically been any rules but it was the principle of the thing.

The king let out another soft chuckle before he leaned over to nuzzle Gaster's forehead, "does that disqualify me from winning a hug?"

Gaster didn't try to stop the smile this time, ' _no._ ' He reached up to wrap his arms around the king's neck as he nuzzled the king back.


	36. Oil and water

He tried to be still as Sidd examined him.

Gaster watched as Sidd gently held his arm while slowly running a hand just above the bones. A light tingling slipped through the bone just below Sidd's hand, it was a much more dull but also more wide spread and unfocused feeling than last time. Gaster glanced up to Sidd's face, the gingerbread monster's eyes weren't glowing this time either. The doctor stood just to Sidd's side, watching what was being done as he tapped his foot against the floor.

"Well?" The doctor let out an impatient huff as he waited the inevitable amount of time it would require for Sidd to answer him. Sidd continued to move his hand along the arm for a few moments before he released it, moving his hand to pass just over Gaster's chest. Gaster was grateful that Sidd didn't ask him to remove his gown as the tingling magic settled into his rib-cage.

"The density has increased." Gaster tensed slightly as Sidd moved the hand over his sternum.

Gaster listened as the others spoke, watching them without making it obvious that he was looking. Sidd was focused on his magic while the doctor was more looking at what Sidd was doing than actually looking at Gaster.

Gaster found himself carefully watching what the doctor did. It had only been about a week but the doctor hadn't really poked or prodded at him lately, not as much as usual anyway. He knew it shouldn't matter, that he should just do as he had been and ignore the doctor. It would be easier that way. But Gaster couldn't help the feeling in his chest that was much like holding his breath. It was more of an anticipation than a hope but it was there just the same.

"The scans did not indicate a major shift in energy level, progress has been gradual yet steady. I am unable to determine when this occurred." The doctor shuffled through the papers he was holding, mumbling to himself as he did so. "Is it a change in physiology due to greater connection to the soul? Or is it merely retention from repeated and prolonged submersion?"

Sidd cocked his head for a moment, pulling his hand away from Gaster's chest. "May I?" Sidd gestured to Gaster's head.

Gaster gave a small nod, tensing slightly as Sidd's hands came to rest on either side of his face and tingling magic wove through his skull.

Sidd shifted the magic around for a few seconds before he pulled his hands away. "Physiology, not retention."

"What?" The doctor looked up from his papers to scrutinize Sidd, "on what reasoning?"

Sidd gestured to Gaster's face, "the skull was not submerged."

The doctor glanced at Gaster before returning his gaze to Sidd, "it also has greater density?"

Sidd waited a few long moments before he spoke, "yes."

After a moment the doctor gave a nod to that, returning his eyes to the papers in his hands. "We will need to take some samples, a dozen should do for now."

Gaster didn't really like the sound of that. "Is that many necessary Drake?" The king had remained silent up to this point as he stood by Gaster's side, listening as the other two spoke.

"There is an unknown substance residing within the liquid magic that I am having great difficulty analyzing. I cannot be certain if scans will be accurate because of this." The doctor did not look up from his notes as he spoke but his voice took on a lecturing tone as he was forced to explain himself. "I must have more samples in order to determine it's properties quickly and ensure the validity of our data."

The king let out a sigh at that, "very well."

As they spoke Sidd moved to the side counter of the exam room, searching through it to bring out several instruments and containers. He arranged the items on a tray before bringing it back with him to set on the exam table next to where Gaster sat.

Gaster eyed the items unhappily, there were more empty syringes on the tray than he would have liked.

"You will explain the procedure before you begin Drake," the king voice was firm as he placed a hand on Gaster's shoulder to give it a gentle squeeze.

The doctor let out a sigh, speaking without looking up from his papers. "We will apply local anesthetic to the extraction sites before using a syringe to take the samples. It should be relatively painless and not worthy of such fuss."

Gaster watched as Sidd took a bottle and generously wetted a large swab with it's contents.

"Humerus." The doctor instructed as he still studied his papers.

"May I?" Sidd indicated Gaster's left arm.

Gaster gave a small nod and a sigh as he held out his arm, at least this time he didn't have to take the pain medicine that made him numb all over and made it hard for him to think.

Sidd took the arm in a gentle hold as he pressed the swab against Gaster's arm a short distance down from his shoulder. Gaster shuddered slightly as he felt the tingle of Sidd's magic slide into his arm, making the liquid from the swab seep into the bone a little bit faster.

Once the anesthetic had soaked in thoroughly and a good portion of the bone was numbed Sidd pulled the swab away, setting it aside to pick up one of the syringes. His gaze moved to Gaster's face, studying it for a few long moments before he moved to bring the needle up to Gaster's arm.

The king's hand moved from Gaster's shoulder to the hand opposite of Sidd, taking it and giving it a squeeze. Gaster tensed at the pinching feeling but did his best to hold still as Sidd slowly pulled back on the plunger of the syringe, taking a small portion of liquid from the center of the bone.

Sidd pulled the syringe away to set it aside, picking up a small piece of gauze to tape over where the needle had punctured the bone. Gaster watched as a small droplet of liquid magic well up in that spot before it was covered.

The doctor glanced up from his papers, eyeing Gaster for a moment before returning his attention down again. "Metacarpals."

Sidd indicated Gaster's hand, "may I?"

Gaster gave a nod and watched as Sidd took his hand, shifting it and probing it with magic until he seemed to find a suitable spot. Sidd pressed the swab against the back of it just to the side of the thumb, letting it numb properly before bringing a new syringe to the bone. Gaster watched the small amount of liquid magic be extracted, focusing on the few tiny pinpricks of red that floated unmixed within the liquid magic.

"You do not have to watch young one." The king gave Gaster's hand another squeeze.

Gaster looked back at the king, waiting for Sidd to finish with his other hand before he took both hands back to answer. ' _I'm fine._ ' It didn't really hurt and he wasn't afraid to watch Sidd work. He didn't particularly like seeing syringes stuck into his bones of course but he wasn't afraid of them. He had spent far too long having them stuck into his soul daily to be bothered by the slight pricks that he felt now.

The king gave a nod as he took in Gaster's calm expression, giving Gaster a warm reassuring smile nonetheless.

The doctor glanced up again just long enough to chose the next bones. "Radius and Ulna of the other arm."

Sidd and the king switched sides, the king carefully taking Gaster's hand to avoid bothering the bandaged spot. Sidd turned Gaster's arm gently, carefully choosing a position on one of the bones that was well away from the old thin fractures that crawled across it's surface. Gaster wasn't worried about them being worsened by this though, the doctor had put his body under far more stress and they had never been a problem before.

Gaster watched as Sidd took a small sample from one bone and then the other, tolerating the pinching sensation that accompanied each.

The doctor looked up again, his gaze sweeping Gaster up and down. "Sternum."

' _No, not there._ ' Gaster signed quickly, moving his hand to hold it over his chest.

Gaster stiffened slightly as the doctor's irritated gaze settled on his but his features remained firm as he absently rubbed at the bone with his fingers. He could just barely feel the scar that ran down it through the relatively thin fabric of his gown.

After a few moments the doctor gave a thick huff, snapping his papers straight in his hands as he looked down again. "Anterior rib."

Gaster relaxed some in his surprise at the doctor's relent, he hadn't expected the doctor to give in so easily. He pulled down the collar of his gown a little as Sidd asked him to access one of his ribs. Gaster accepted the rest of the doctor's choices without complaint as Sidd took several more samples from his legs, spine and even the top back ridge of his pelvis.

By the time Sidd had finished taking the last sample Gaster was beginning to have more feeling in his arm again, it ached a little but it wasn't too bad. Gaster rubbed at the bone just below the bandage absently as he watched Sidd finish carefully labeling and sorting the syringes of liquid that had been collected.

"That is all," the doctor gave an absent shooing motion as he continued to study his papers.

Gaster gladly slid from the table and left the room with the king. Cadis waited for them in the hall as he chatted with the king's guard, he looked Gaster up and down with some concern as he took in the many small bandages. "Are you alright pup?"

Gaster gave a nod and a smile, ' _I'm fine._ '

The king turned to Gaster, giving him a small smile and squeezing his hand. "I'm afraid I must be going now my child." Gaster let out a soft sigh as he embraced the king, large arms wrapping around him in return. "I will see you tomorrow."

Gaster gave the king a nod and a smile before he left, turning to head toward his room once the king was gone. He changed out of his gown and into his clothes, careful not to accidentally pull the bandages off as he slid on his sweater and pants.

He decided to walk around with Cadis for a while. They didn't really play any games or talk today, he just wanted to walk and think. His thoughts kept returning to the doctor as he tried to puzzle out why the doctor was looking at him differently now. It wasn't as if the doctor had never seen him broken before, the doctor had been the one to do most of the breaking.

Would things just go back to the way they were before or could they really change? He didn't really know what to think about this either. He couldn't afford hope when it came to the doctor, that was far too dangerous. The first scars the doctor had given him hadn't been physical. He would wait and he would watch, that was the only thing he could really do.

Gaster was pulled from his pondering when he rounded a corner to see Sidd and the doctor at the far end of the hall, they were facing the other direction as they walked. Gaster watched them curiously for a moment, glancing at Cadis after they disappeared around the far corner of the hall. ' _Quiet._ '

Cadis gave him a confused look but followed quickly as Gaster hurried to the corner the other pair had disappeared around. Gaster cautiously glanced around the corner and watched as Sidd and the doctor made their way along the hall. Once they had turned another corner Gaster quickly rushed to watch them make their way down the new hall, Cadis following after him.

' _What is it pup?_ '

Gaster watched Cadis sign, he didn't really have an answer to that. He gave a shrug but thankfully Cadis went along with him anyway, even if the other flashed an amused grin as he followed.

Gaster and Cadis pursued them without notice through the halls of the lab, quietly spying on them as they went. After not too long though Gaster felt a light itch in his bones, he stiffened slightly as he realized they were heading in the direction of the soul hall. He frowned as he watched the other pair slip around another corner ahead of them. He continued to follow after even as the prickling itch in his bones increased.

A little while later Cadis placed a light hand on his shoulder to draw his attention, ' _we should go back pup._ '

It had taken Cadis that much more distance to feel it. ' _Not yet._ ' They were already close, he might as well know for sure where they were headed.

They followed along a little more, it didn't take long for them to reach the soul's hall. Gaster peeked tensely around the corner as he watched the other two slowly make their way down the hall. Halfway down they stopped, turning to the door where the soul was held. The doctor placed his hand on the scanner next to the door and a moment later they were inside.

Gaster watched a few moments longer before he turned away and quickly traveled away from the area that was thick with the soul's radiant energy. The prickling itch deep in his bones lessened as they moved but the shadow of it remained even once they were far away. It would be a little while before it disappeared completely. Gaster was thankful for the distraction of the light aches in his bones where the numbness had worn off from earlier. It made it easier for him to concentrate on the new puzzle piece that he had just picked up. He didn't know what to make of this yet but he had nothing if not time to think on it.


	37. Action and response

He held his hand out just far enough to feel the itch in his fingers.

Gaster noted where he stood in the hall to feel the energy's reach today, it was a little farther away than it was yesterday. He had found that the distance wasn't always the same, it seemed to vary slightly from day to day. Sometimes it was a little farther and sometimes it shrunk a little, it wasn't a great change but it was enough to be noticeable once he had started coming back to check it. He had hoped that as he got healthier that his sensitivity to the soul's influence would lessen but he still felt it well before they traveled close enough for Cadis to feel it.

Gaster pulled his hand back, flexing his fingers and staring at them as the light prickling feeling slowly slid away. It reminded him of being shocked in a way, invasive foreign energy crawling through the center of his bones. It was unsettling the way the energy dug at his magic, trying to force itself underneath. But he had to know more about this, find out why he was still so sensitive to it despite the progress he had made. He had to know why the soul was reacting like this in the first place.

It was a reaction, a reaction to him. The soul hadn't always given off this strange energy. This had happened when he had woke, not when the doctor had begun experimenting on the human's bones and not when the first fragment of a soul had been planted in it. Only once he had woken. This was because of him. He had to know why.

And why did the doctor keep returning to that room? If Gaster remembered correctly the king was storing the soul until it could be used to help break the barrier, and that would likely be a very long time from now. He didn't know what the doctor could be doing in there. The doctor might be studying it but Gaster didn't know what he could be testing that he hadn't already in all the time the soul had been there. If there was a way to grow a human soul like they had done his they would have figured that out by now, wouldn't they? Maybe it had to do with the drops of red that were in his bones. If it wasn't something that was natural for monsters maybe it was something to do with humans.

Gaster had never really given much thought to what the doctor might be doing when he wasn't around before. It had always been preferable to just ignore the doctor's existence when he could, and to tolerate it when he couldn't.

"Pup why are we standin' here?"

Gaster blinked as he was pulled from his thoughts, turning to Cadis' questioning and concerned expression.

"You can feel it from here, right?"

Gaster frowned slightly as Cadis' tone edged toward frustration, ' _yes._ '

"Then why do we keep coming back here?"

Gaster turned his gaze back in the direction the soul would be, letting his hands make a few noncommittal gestures before answering. ' _Need to know._ '

Cadis let out a sigh, "what is it you need to know?"

Gaster glanced at Cadis for a moment before shifting his gaze away again. ' _Do you wonder what it feels like?_ '

Cadis furrowed his brow, "what feels like what? You need to explain more pup, I swear you're getting as bad as Sidd."

Gaster smiled a little at that but thought for a moment to make sure his next answer would be more clear. ' _The soul. What it feels like to have no body, but still be here?_ ' The smile faded some. ' _If it's awake, if it remembers or feels._ ' Gaster stuck his hand out, feeling the energy slide into his fingers for a moment before he took his hand back again. ' _If it hurts._ '

Gaster glanced toward Cadis when he didn't answer, the dog guard was looking at Gaster with a slight frown.

' _Do you wonder what it would be like if that were you?_ '

"No, I haven't pup."

' _Why not?_ '

"Because it's not something that could happen to me." Realization seemed to catch up with Cadis as the words left him. "Pup," Cadis placed a hand on Gaster's back, "you know we'd never let that happen right?"

Gaster let his eye-lights slip to the floor as lifted a hand to brush lightly over his chest, fingertips plucking at the fabric of his sweater. He knew that, he did. But it was still something his thoughts lingered on at times, how easily things could have happened differently.

"Pup?"

Gaster looked back up at Cadis, ' _I know. I'm fine._ ' Gaster gave Cadis a smile until it seemed to ease his concern some. ' _Just need to know._ '

Cadis made an unsatisfied noise in his throat, "sometimes pup it's best to let sleeping dogs lie."

Gaster glanced away again, he didn't think he could do that. Not when he knew that it was something that could change, not when he knew that it had changed because of him. This was too important to just let it go.

Gaster stepped forward, Cadis let out a sigh as he followed after. As they traveled farther the light prickling feeling settled heavier into Gaster's bones, he tried not to tense as the itch he felt deepened. It didn't take long before he noticed Cadis shift how he was walking, the dog guard's steps growing wary as they got closer to the soul hall.

When they reached the hall Gaster walked up to the door, trying the handle after a moment even if he knew it would be locked. He pressed his head against the door, listening intently to the faint rustling sound beyond it.

Cadis shifted uneasily as he watched Gaster, "what are you doing pup?"

' _Listening,_ ' Gaster signed after a moment.

Cadis eyed the door, stepping forward to press his ear against it. Gaster shifted out of his way as he did, watching and waiting to see what Cadis would say. After a few moments Cadis pulled away shaking his head. "I don't hear anything pup."

Gaster frowned at that as he moved to listen again, the dogs had better hearing than he did but they couldn't hear this. Gaster wasn't entirely certain that what he heard was really a sound. It seemed to shift and change, like hushed sharp whispers that were barely beyond his reach. But then it was different, more like a vibration that didn't really seem to travel through objects like it should until it came to him.

Then it lingered in his bones in a way he was certain that it shouldn't.

Gaster fell forward as the door opened, barely catching himself before he fell headfirst into the doctor. He took several quick steps back once he regained his footing, returning the doctor's glare with one of his own.

"What are you doing here?" The doctor snapped, his irritated gaze sweeping between Gaster and Cadis.

Gaster shifted some, moving his gaze to try to see into the room beyond the doctor. He wasn't able to see much before Sidd walked forward to stand by the doctor's side. Cadis edged in front of Gaster a little, immediately drawing the doctor's sharp attention. "The pup can go wherever he wants."

The doctor let out a snort, "I did not expect a whelp to have any understanding of the nature of souls." Cadis let out a low growl as the doctor's gaze shifted back to Gaster, "it should not be anywhere near the human soul."

"And why is that?" Cadis' voice held a challenging edge despite his shuffle back from the doctor's heated glare.

"Do you not feel it's oppressive miasma? Do you not feel the weight of it crawling up your spine?" Cadis shifted his shoulders uneasily as the doctor gestured sharply to Gaster, "we are still attempting to make progress with dozens of unknown factors without adding another dangerously potent one that we cannot fully predict or calculate for."

Some of the stiffness seemed to leave Cadis' stance but he still stood protectively near Gaster.

The doctor stepped forward, ushering Sidd out of the doorway as he pulled the door closed. He stared Cadis down with the confidence and self assured correctness he always held over his assistants. He moved his gaze to Gaster, "you will not come near this place again." His eyes hardened some when Gaster remained still, only giving a defiant stare in return.

The doctor let out a low displeased growl as he stalked off down the hall, Gaster watched him go with a frown before he turned to look at Sidd. The gingerbread assistant stared at him for a few moments before turning to walk down the hall in the opposite direction from the doctor.

Gaster followed after Sidd, turning to look at Cadis with some concern as the dog guard shook his slightly ruffled fur out before he joined Gaster's side. ' _You alright?_ '

"I'm fine pup, I just don't like the feel of this place." Cadis glanced back for a moment before he gazed down at Gaster with an almost pleading look, "pup I hate to agree with the doctor but you shouldn't hang around there." Cadis rolled his shoulders again as if that might help to settle the sensation that would only disappear with distance, "it can't be good for you."

Gaster frowned at that, it wasn't as if he liked the feel of it either but he needed to know if this could be changed. If the soul was reacting to his existence the first and easiest way he could think of to test that was to get near it, as uncomfortable as that was for him. He needed to know if there was something he could do about this.

He let out a sigh, turning down a different hall from Sidd as they neared the edge of the soul's range again. He walked back the way they had originally come from, traveling to the hall where he had initially tested the edge of the soul's energy. He walked beyond it, stopping and turning to reach out and try to find it again. It was a little more difficult this time with the shadow of the soul's prickling energy still firmly lodged in his bones but he needed to find the edge again quickly now that he had passed so close to the soul and then moved away again. He needed to see if there was a difference.

It took him a little, stepping forward and backward a few times before he found it. Cadis watched him unhappily the entire time but did not voice a complaint. Once Gaster was certain of where it was he looked around the hall to gauge it's position compared to before. It was still in the same place that it was earlier.

Gaster let out a frustrated sigh as he lowered his arm and took a few steps back. He wasn't sure if this was good sign or a bad one but he had expected there to be some sort of measurable change. Maybe the soul wasn't reacting to him, but why had it only started giving off energy recently then? It couldn't be a coincidence, there was a connection somehow even if it hadn't seemed to be effected by him being near it.

Maybe proximity didn't matter then? He had never been near enough to feel it before he had been allowed to roam the lab, he was certain that the feeling it gave him would have at least been familiar if he had felt it in his earliest days that he couldn't remember. Or perhaps he would need to be near it longer for there to be an effect, he wasn't eager to test that though.

Gaster stepped away to travel back toward his room as he thought and tried to ignore the very slow dissipating of the itch in his bones. Cadis visibly relaxed as they left the area, though he still looked at Gaster with some concern. Gaster gave him a small smile, ' _I'm fine._ ' Cadis still frowned some and didn't seem so easily soothed this time, ' _Cadis, please don't worry._ '

"You know that you shake more when you go near it pup?"

Did he? Gaster glanced down at his hand, it didn't really look like it was shaking any more to him but he supposed it would be easier for Cadis to see than it would be for him. If it was subtle enough he might not have noticed it with the distraction of the soul's energy.

"You've been shaking less pup, as you've gotten better. Not by a lot but I can see a difference." Gaster glanced back up at Cadis, "but you shake even worse than before when you get that close to the soul."

Gaster frowned at that. He had hoped to see a greater reaction from the soul, not the other way around.

"You have more troubles than a pup should, you don't need to add more worries to them." Cadis let out a slight huff but smiled a bit anyway, he reached over to give Gaster a gentle pat on the shoulder. "You know I worry 'cause I care about you, right pup?"

Gaster gave him a small grateful smile in return, ' _I know._ '


	38. Easy distractions

 

He gently held the watering can as he swept it back and forth over the flowers.

Gaster concentrated on making sure he didn't pull on any more magic as he levitated the watering can across the flower bed in front of him. The king walked beside him with another watering can, watching his progress as they went. Gaster was still only able to let go of about half of the magic that he could hold but he was becoming more comfortable with keeping it at that level, even with distractions. "Four times six."

' _Twenty-four,_ ' Gaster signed as he walked without looking away from what he was doing. They were combining two of his lessons today as they visited the garden, magic control and math problems to split his concentration. Gaster didn't mind it that much, especially since the king had promised him extra time for this visit in return for using some of it for the lessons.

"Seven times five."

Gaster responded after a moment, ' _thirty-five._ '

Gaster thought that this was a bit more of a practical use of less magic, the last time he had attempted to sneak a syringe out of Sidd's pocket it had cracked as soon as he had wrapped his magic around it. It had been very difficult for him to keep a straight face until they had parted ways after that. It was a bit frustrating, how his changing energy levels meant he had to relearn how much force he needed to use in order to do things he had been doing his whole life. He had more magic to draw on now but it still felt the same to him now as it had before when he used a certain amount of his ability. Half still felt like half and all still felt the same as it always had, even if all was so much more than it used to be.

That had always been what he had needed to do, he had needed to put everything he had into the simplest of actions to make sure he could do them and they didn't just fail. Picking things up and holding them in his hands, supporting their weight. Using his magic to summon bones or move things. Walking. How long had it been since a trot was the fastest that he was able to make himself move? The physical things were easier to adapt to because they were constantly there, the use of his magic would need more practice. Instinct was hard to fight, and being weak and nearly helpless was a difficult thing to unlearn.

"Three times nine."

' _Twenty-seven._ ' Gaster responded as he tipped the watering can up more, the last of it's contents trickling out onto the ground.

"Very good my child," the king smiled as he offered Gaster his watering can, "here you take mine while I go refill yours."

Gaster gave the king a nod, slipping his magic around the king's watering can to lift it into the air as he moved his own empty one close for the king to take. Gaster started trickling water onto the flowers as the king made his way over to the water pump. Gaster wiggled his toes in his shoes, shifting his feet some in them to try to make them more comfortable.

It felt strange to wear shoes, not able to feel the ground with his feet as he walked. Gaster had to wear several pairs of socks to make sure they fit snugly enough that they wouldn't slide around his feet too much as he walked. Not many monsters wore shoes and the ones that the king had gotten him were shaped a little oddly, clearly meant for someone with longer feet than him.

Gaster swept the watering can to his side, fumbling it and nearly dropping it as he noticed Sidd standing right next to him. Gaster let out a frustrated huff as he calmed himself from the sudden startle, giving Sidd a displeased look. Sidd just stared back at him.

"Sixty-four times thirty-five."

Gaster raised his brow questioningly but Sidd only continued to stare at him. Gaster fidgeted with his hands for a moment before answering, ' _don't know._ ' The king's pace with some of his lessons was a bit slow for Gaster's liking but this was a bit of a jump in difficulty.

Sidd tilted his head to the side slightly as he stared at Gaster, waiting a few more movements before he spoke again, "six times six."

' _Thirty-six._ '

Sidd gave a nod, waiting a few long moments before he spoke again. "Two times three times six."

Gaster hesitated a moment before answering. ' _Thirty-six._ '

Sidd gave another nod, speaking after a few seconds. "Two times three times three times two."

Gaster frowned slightly, trying to figure out what Sidd was getting at. ' _Thirty-six._ '

"Sixty-four times thirty-five."

Gaster frowned a bit more as he looked at Sidd, he thought he could understand what the other was trying to show him. If he broke the numbers down they might be easier to figure out. He started with the sixty-four, divided by two that would be thirty-two. Divided again that would make it sixteen. Gaster kept track of the number of times divided by two on his fingers as he divided it again to eight. Then to four and then to two. So there were six twos.

So if he multiplied thirty-five times two and then that answer by two until he had used up all of the twos he would have the same answer as sixty-four times thirty-five. Gaster's gazed slipped down as he thought, multiplying the numbers in his head and counting off the twos on his fingers as he used them.

It took him a little but Gaster looked up again after double checking his answer and going over the numbers again to make sure that he got the same answer. ' _Two thousand two hundred forty?_ '

Sidd stared at him for a few long moments before giving a nod. "You dropped the can."

Gaster glanced to the side, he still held the watering can with his magic but he had allowed it to sink to the ground in his distraction. With a flick of his wrist he lifted it again, he had also pulled on a bit more magic than before but not by as much as he would have thought.

"Thirty times forty-eight."

Gaster slowly moved the watering can back and forth in front of him, directing it to sprinkle out water onto the flowers with one hand as he divided the numbers in his head and counted off twos on his other hand. After a little while Gaster looked up from staring at the flowers as he thought, his answer was more confident this time. ' _One thousand four hundred forty._ '

Sidd nodded after only a moment and Gaster grinned at the affirmation, math was a fun puzzle to work with if there was the right amount of a challenge to it. Not too easy but not too hard either.

Gaster turned slightly as the king returned, "here you are my child." The king offered the now full watering can for Gaster to take, which was traded for the half empty one he had been using.

"Twenty-seven times fifty-seven."

The king turned to Sidd as the other spoke, giving a slightly disapproving frown. "Sidd that is a bit above what I have been teaching him."

Gaster made a distracted motion toward the king as he thought, the watering can sunk a little as he held it with his magic but it remained in the air. They were both odd numbers so he would have to divide them by something other than two. It took him a bit longer to solve this problem out but eventually he pulled his gaze up to meet Sidd's again.

' _One thousand five hundred thirty-nine._ '

Sidd gave a nod.

The king gave Gaster a surprised look before turning to Sidd, "that is the answer?"

Sidd stared at the king for a few seconds before answering, "that is correct."

The king turned back to Gaster, the surprise still clear on his face. "How did you do that Wingdings?"

Gaster gave a small shrug, ' _Sidd showed me._ ' You could solve any puzzle once you knew how the pieces fit together.

The king looked to Sidd again, giving the gingerbread monster a thoughtful look. "Sidd?"

Sidd continued to stare at the king, "yes?"

"How would you like to help me with some of Wingdings' lessons?"

Sidd cocked his head to the side as he looked at the king, his gaze moving to rest on Gaster for a short while. "Perhaps." Sidd walked away before the king could respond.

The king watched him go for a moment before turning to Gaster, "would you mind if I had Sidd help to teach you young one? He will know a good deal more about math and science than I do."

Gaster gave the king a smile, ' _yes, I would like that._ '

The king gave him a wide smile in return, "I will talk to him more about that later then." The king's grin widened even more with pride, "you never cease to surprise me with how clever you are my child."

Gaster ducked his head slightly as he smiled a bit more back.

"Come my child, let us finish watering the flowers."

Gaster followed the king as they walked around the garden, the king didn't ask him any more math questions but he continued to use his magic to hold the watering can as they went. Once they had finished and set the watering cans aside they moved to sit among the flowers that had been watered earlier where the ground was most dry.

The king closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, a content smile on his face as he sat in the warmth of a shaft of sunlight and took in the air of the garden. Gaster sat next to him, leaning into the king's side as he looked up at the light that slipped down from the rocky ceiling. He couldn't see the sun or the sky through the gaps in the roof of the cave, he could only see the faintly pulsing white wall of the barrier as it arced through air and the rock of the mountain alike.

Gaster looked over to Sidd and Cadis, who had settled into the flowers not too far away. Cadis was staring at Sidd intently as he attempted to 'win' a staring contest against the other. Gaster let out a soft laugh as he watched them and wondered what Sidd had done to draw Cadis' ire this time, it didn't take much sometimes.

Gaster and the king just sat in the flowers for a long time, eventually laying down as the rays of light slowly slid across the ground. Gaster curled against the king's side, the king's large arm wrapped around him and held him close as he curled his fingers into the kings robes and pressed the side of his face against the king's chest. He relaxed and listened to the strong steady beat of the king's soul as he idly watched motes of dust filter through the sunlight. There was a slight breeze as air slipped down from the tunnel that led up toward the surface. It carried faint foreign scents on fresh air that was just strong enough to be smelled over the scent of flowers. It would be so easy to just fall asleep lying here next to the king.

Gaster wondered what the surface was like, it must be nice if everyone wanted to get there. Clouds and weather, a moving sun and stars, plants and animals everywhere. These things were as equally unimaginable to him as snow and trees and houses and neighbors or anything else Cadis had described about his home or the rest of the underground. They seemed equally unobtainable to him, even if he knew that wasn't really true.

Gaster glanced up at the king's face, he wasn't sure if the king was asleep but he looked happy. Gaster forgot sometimes how old the king was, that he had lived long enough to have seen the surface hundreds of years ago. That made the king ancient to Gaster's eyes. Gaster knew that the king didn't age anymore but he definitely looked more weary some days than he did others. But Gaster supposed that he did too.

Gaster smiled a little more at the relaxed content smile on the king's face. The king made a lot of his days easier, he was glad to help with the king's days too.


	39. Momentary ceasefire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry for the long absence but the pace of one chapter a week was starting to get to be a bit much and I needed a little break from writing for a while. From now on I will be posting as often as I can somewhere between once a week and once every two weeks, hopefully with no more than two weeks between each chapter. I'll always post on Mondays as I have been, sorry again for the long break but this story will not be abandoned I promise. It is too important to me to either rush it or give up on it.

He had taken to following Sidd and the doctor around the lab at a distance.

Gaster followed them quietly, spying around corners and remaining out of sight a hall behind them as they went. Cadis went along with it without too much prompting but Gaster was under the impression that the other thought that this was a new game of sorts. It wasn't a game but Gaster would admit there was a certain thrill to flitting along behind the others, pursuing them unseen.

Frequent destinations or stops along their travels within the range that Gaster's collar would allow him to follow included the doctor's office and the monitoring room. And of course the soul room. At Cadis' request Gaster no longer followed them all of the way there, stopping once they reached the range at which Gaster could feel the soul's energy. But Gaster still checked on it to see how the distance shifted from day to day.

Gaster watched as they headed that way now, peeking around into the hall that Sidd and the doctor were walking down. He would follow for a bit longer to be sure but it looked like today he and Cadis wouldn't be trailing them for long. They were talking about something as they walked but they were too far away for Gaster to make out any of what they were saying.

Once they turned down another hall Gaster and Cadis quickly made their way up to the next corner. Gaster touched Cadis' arm to gain his attention, ' _can you hear them?_ '

' _One second,_ ' Cadis signed before he leaned closer to the corner, perking his ears forward alertly. ' _Something about the soul, can't catch all of it._ '

Gaster gave a slight huff as he nodded, turning to watch the others carefully again. He was starting to learn a few patterns as to where they went but he wished he could listen to what they were saying. Sidd wouldn't tell him much about what they did and he knew that the doctor certainly wouldn't either.

Gaster watched as the others turned around the next corner, he urged Cadis to follow him up to the next intersection. As they came up to the corner Gaster cautiously peeked around it, quickly pulling back a moment later to press himself against the wall.

Gaster glanced tensely toward the edge of the intersection, he stood stiffly still as he waited for the others to come back but neither the doctor nor Sidd returned from around the corner.

"I know you're there."

Perfect. Gaster's first instinct was to quickly sneak off in the other direction and pretend he had never been spotted but he fought down the urge to dash off. He glanced at Cadis, who shuffled back a small step but otherwise gave no indication of turning back without Gaster's direction.

Gaster looked back toward the corner that the others had walked beyond, they already knew that he was there. He pulled himself away from the wall and slowly forced himself to step around the corner, Cadis quickly following after him.

The doctor and Sidd stood only a short distance from the intersection, the doctor ceased tapping his foot as they came into view. Gaster stopped as he saw them, glancing quickly to Sidd for a second before his eye-lights settled on the doctor, returning the doctor's scrutinizing gaze with a carefully neutral expression.

"What do you want?"

Gaster remained cautiously still as he held the doctor's gaze, did the doctor actually want an answer? Did he actually expect a response? The doctor looked irritated but he didn't quite look angry. Gaster shifted his hands indecisively for a moment, ' _want to know about the soul._ ' After a few long seconds Gaster was certain that he wasn't going to get an answer. He watched the doctor carefully for a reaction, the doctor only continued to look at him as if examining something.

"Why?"

Gaster couldn't help fiddling with his hands before continuing. ' _Want to know why it feels like that, want to know why I feel it more than others._ '

That had the doctor's attention, his eyes focusing intently. "What do you mean?"

Gaster thought carefully about his response, ' _I_ _feel it farther away than others._ ' He didn't know how far away the doctor or Sidd could feel it but he knew that he could feel it much farther than Cadis or the captain could.

"Show me where you can sense it." It was not a request.

Gaster tensed slightly, waiting a few moments before he decided to move. He watched the doctor carefully as he stepped around the other to travel in the direction of the soul. As they walked he kept his head half turned back, keeping the doctor in his sight behind him. He gave Cadis a small grateful smile when the dog guard made sure to stand between him and the doctor as they went.

It didn't take them long before they reached where Gaster would soon feel the soul's energy. He slowed when they got close, reaching his hand forward until he found the edge of it. ' _Here._ '

The doctor stepped forward around Cadis to watch Gaster closely as he motioned to where it was. The doctor muttered to himself as he stopped to look in the direction the soul would be, "this much distance, could it be . . . ? No, no it's almost certainly . . . no that wouldn't be it either . . . "

Gaster tried to understand the doctor's rambling and disjointed mumbling but too little was said for him to make any sense of it.

The doctor turned back to him, eyes sharply focused. Gaster tried not to shrink under the doctor's almost hungry gaze, he was glad for how close Cadis stood near him. "How long have you sensed it at this distance?"

' _Don't know, but always more than others._ ' The distance hadn't shifted greatly since Gaster had started checking on it but he couldn't remember if it had always been this far. He had avoided being anywhere near able to feel the soul's energy for a long time and had only gotten even this close relatively recently, when he had found out that the soul hadn't always been like this.

"How do you perceive the radiant energy?"

Gaster hesitated, he didn't want to answer that. He already felt like he may have said more than he should have. Telling the doctor these things was dangerous. The doctor could use this information against him, could use it to hurt him. But . . . the doctor could use it to help make him better too, could use it to help the soul. Gaster did not trust the doctor, not in the slightest, but . . .

The doctor listened to the king most of the time, the doctor had been making him better. If only under the king's orders. Gaster searched the doctor's intent eyes, they no longer seemed angry when he looked back. Gaster didn't know what the doctor wanted, he didn't know what the doctor would do if he was told this. The doctor was cruel but Gaster could endure that, and maybe this could help him.

Gaster hesitated a moment longer as he tried to think of how to phrase it. ' _It . . . pushes under my magic._ ' He rubbed at his arm, ' _digs inside._ '

The doctor seemed to be watching his signs carefully.

"We must do another scan today, come." The doctor strode off before either Gaster or Cadis could object. Sidd remained, his intense gaze lingering on Gaster.

Gaster watched the doctor stop near the end of the hall, turning to give an irritated look back as he tapped his foot. Gaster glanced at Sidd and Cadis for a moment before he slowly started after the doctor, Cadis close behind him with Sidd following after. Gaster picked up his pace a little to keep up as the doctor started walking again.

They traveled to the monitoring room, the doctor entering without so much as a glance to see if the others followed him. Gaster hesitated for a second before going in, moving to stand near the exam table but not climbing onto it as he watched the doctor retrieve the sensors from the far counter.

Gaster plucked at the hem of his sweater, the doctor would not be able to place most of the sensors while he wore his day clothes. He eyed the container of sensors as the doctor set it down on the exam table, he doubted the doctor would accept his discomfort as an excuse to not strip in order to place them. Gaster signed before the doctor had a chance to speak. ' _Cadis, can you get a gown from my dresser?_ '

Cadis looked to the doctor for a moment before turning to Gaster, "pup, I don't think . . . "

' _Sidd is here._ ' Gaster gestured to the gingerbread monster who stood silently off to the side, ' _I'll be fine._ '

Cadis glanced at Sidd, still hesitant.

' _I'll be fine Cadis,_ ' Gaster gave a reassuring if small smile.

Cadis looked as if he still wished to disagree, eyeing the doctor again. The doctor looked to be growing impatient but didn't make a comment. "You'll wait 'till I get back to put those on the pup."

The doctor let out a slightly displeased huff, "that is acceptable."

Cadis turned back to Gaster. "Alright, I'll be quick pup." Cadis left the room quickly, sprinting off before the door had even swung closed.

The doctor drummed his fingers against the container, his claws clicking softly against it's plastic surface. Gaster lifted his gaze from the doctor's hands to his face, watching as the doctor watched him.

"Describe the sensation of the soul's radiant energy."

Gaster was caught off guard for a moment, he hadn't expected the doctor to speak to him unprompted. He watched the doctor warily, his head tilted down slightly as he looked at the lizard monster. Gaster made a few vague gestures at first before signing properly, ' _. . . it itches, tingles and prickles down in the center._ ' Gaster rubbed at his fingers as he looked down at his hands.

The doctor remained silent for a few moments, the clicking of his fingers slowing. "Does the sensation concentrate in a particular area?"

Gaster looked up again, shaking his head slightly. ' _Just deep._ '

The clicking slowed even more, "does the intensity of the sensation change with proximity?"

' _Yes._ '

"Has the detection range remained consistent, or does it vary?"

' _Shifts some, not much._ '

"How much?"

Gaster gave an uncomfortable shrug as he looked down again, ' _don't know exactly, not much._ '

The doctor gave a displeased grunt but spoke without too much irritation in his voice, "has the sensation changed as the connection has strengthened?" The doctor gestured vaguely to Gaster's chest as he spoke.

Gaster tensed slightly at that, ' _no._ '

"Intensity? Range?" The doctor pressed.

' _No change._ ' Gaster's gestures might have been sharper than he meant them to be but the doctor didn't seem to notice.

"None?"

' _No change._ '

The doctor seemed to loose himself in thought at that, his gaze growing slightly unfocused. He had long since stopped tapping his fingers against the container between his hands.

Gaster watched the doctor closely, waiting to see if the other was going to say anything more as he tried very hard to keep the frown he felt from his face. The doctor was . . . talking to him. Actually speaking to him, not just at him. It was a real conversation even if mostly one sided, it wasn't just orders. The doctor was . . . listening. Actually responding to what he was signing.

It felt like he was walking on glass, one wrong step and this fragile truce might shatter. He hated it.

He shouldn't have to tread carefully, he shouldn't have to worry or wonder if the next thing he said or did might break whatever trance the doctor must be in to be speaking to him like this. But he couldn't help stepping lightly. He couldn't help the desire that rose in his chest, the desire to be truly seen.

He knew better. It shouldn't matter, he shouldn't want it . . . but he did.


End file.
